Welcome, Guest

we will fight on the beaches
(0 viewing) 
A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: we will fight on the beaches 729 Views

Re: we will fight on the beaches 08 Nov 2018 11:11 #337084

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 19 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 975
B"H for my warm house.

Re: we will fight on the beaches 09 Nov 2018 12:14 #337117

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 19 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 975
Yesterday I was thinking about my lady colleague. I used the poof procedure but I noticed it wasn't working. Finally I realized that I was thinking about her because she was in a vulnerable, cute state, and I was ashamed to face this, probably thinking that these feelings should be reserved for my wife. Also very possible that because these feelings were new I just didn't recognize them. When I explained this to myself in my head I was then able to use the procedure and it worked.

Both of these cases are documented in my thread on the poof method.

Re: we will fight on the beaches 09 Nov 2018 15:36 #337120

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 19 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 975
I looked at parts of her last night and used the poof procedure. It worked. The desire has been degraded enough over the last 12 days that I did not need to play videogames for the engagement part.

Re: we will fight on the beaches 11 Nov 2018 09:51 #337137

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 19 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 975
I came very close to acting out for various reasons over Shabbos, triggered by the usual, but the thing that struck me is that I don't have anything lined up which is truly engaging that I can use on Shabbos to execute the poof procedure.

I am wondering whether there is a little game I can play on Shabbos that requires my full attention.

Re: we will fight on the beaches 11 Nov 2018 10:44 #337139

  • Dovid824
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 53
  • Karma: 5
mzl wrote on 11 Nov 2018 09:51:
... I am wondering whether there is a little game I can play on Shabbos that requires my full attention.


What about finding some link between "acting out" and a melachah that's expressly prohibited on Shabbos? Then you could focus on that.

For example, suppose you make a point of writing a diary entry, or posting here every time you act out.
I shall not die! But I shall live and relate the deeds of G-d.
[Psalms 118:17]
Last Edit: 11 Nov 2018 10:50 by Dovid824.

Re: we will fight on the beaches 11 Nov 2018 11:13 #337140

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 19 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 975
Dovid824 wrote on 11 Nov 2018 10:44:

mzl wrote on 11 Nov 2018 09:51:
... I am wondering whether there is a little game I can play on Shabbos that requires my full attention.


What about finding some link between "acting out" and a melachah that's expressly prohibited on Shabbos? Then you could focus on that.

For example, suppose you make a point of writing a diary entry, or posting here every time you act out.

I think I wasn't clear. I could really use an activity to use on Shabbos which is okay to do and also really engaging. See my thread on the poof method for more details. For example juggling oranges would be such an activity, but I can't juggle. It needs to be fully engaging (that's not so easy because I can think about things in the background, like when you are driving) and also available on a moment's notice. So when a new irresistible desire hits I can use the poof procedure to prove that the desire is a distortion of my brain. It needs to be done when the desire hits. I could be sitting at the Shabbos table. My thread below has a lot more details.

Thanks for replying ...

Re: we will fight on the beaches 11 Nov 2018 11:50 #337141

  • Dovid824
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 53
  • Karma: 5
mzl wrote on 11 Nov 2018 11:13:
...I could really use an activity to use on Shabbos which is okay to do and also really engaging....


Hum a niggun? Recite a psalm from memory? Read a discourse on halachah? Get up from the table and go for a brisk walk?

I don't really know what kind of activities you're looking for.
I shall not die! But I shall live and relate the deeds of G-d.
[Psalms 118:17]
Last Edit: 11 Nov 2018 11:58 by Dovid824.

Re: we will fight on the beaches 12 Nov 2018 03:22 #337156

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 19 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 975
Dovid824 wrote on 11 Nov 2018 11:50:

mzl wrote on 11 Nov 2018 11:13:
...I could really use an activity to use on Shabbos which is okay to do and also really engaging....


Hum a niggun? Recite a psalm from memory? Read a discourse on halachah? Get up from the table and go for a brisk walk?

I don't really know what kind of activities you're looking for.

It has to be something which cannot be done while thinking about something else. Like when you almost spill a cup of coffee, for a few moments everything in your head gets put on hold. Videogames work well but I'd like to find something I can do on Shabbos.

Like a rubik cube, but more engaging.

Re: we will fight on the beaches 12 Nov 2018 23:04 #337184

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 19 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 975
I think I did something really bad in the last couple of days. I got involved in of those history-making endeavors again. And I think now I'm coming down. If I get depressed I'm almost certain to be totally convinced that there's no point and no hope and act out again. Depression kills motivation.

Watch this channel, time will tell.

Re: we will fight on the beaches 13 Nov 2018 08:36 #337199

I think although exercise on shabbos is discouraged here it would be a mitzvah. Can your poof on Shabbos be some serious jumping jacks, crunches etc?

Re: we will fight on the beaches 13 Nov 2018 10:52 #337201

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 19 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 975
stronger_today wrote on 13 Nov 2018 08:36:
I think although exercise on shabbos is discouraged here it would be a mitzvah. Can your poof on Shabbos be some serious jumping jacks, crunches etc?

It's more like a hefsek ha das. So for example if someone took a swing at me and I had to duck in a hurry that would work. But of course that's not something you can plan

I was trying to think of some frustrating little game, like balancing an egg, something that requires complete attention.

Re: we will fight on the beaches 14 Nov 2018 02:29 #337229

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 19 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 975
mzl wrote on 12 Nov 2018 23:04:
I think I did something really bad in the last couple of days. I got involved in of those history-making endeavors again. And I think now I'm coming down. If I get depressed I'm almost certain to be totally convinced that there's no point and no hope and act out again. Depression kills motivation.

Watch this channel, time will tell.

Today was better B"H. Mood was stable.
Time to create page: 0.38 seconds