Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest

Journey of life
(0 viewing) 
A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: Journey of life 54440 Views

Re: Journey of life 13 Jun 2018 15:02 #332162

  • lifebound
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 225
  • Karma: 35
mzl wrote on 13 Jun 2018 10:13:
What was the original plan before you acted out? Call your sponsor when you feel like acting out (instead of after) ?

Call my sponsor, call others in program, read from White Book or other literature, talk to God and surrender.

None of those things ended up happening. I hadn't really been making daily check-in program calls in general, felt weird doing that. But I realize now that if I don't do that on a regular basis, there's no chance that I'll do it when I feel like acting out. So I made a bunch of calls yesterday, went to a meeting last night and this morning, getting back on track with God's help.

Re: Journey of life 13 Jun 2018 15:15 #332164

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 28 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 996
I hope you are not like me. I would feel like a burden calling a sponsor. It sounds like you have a plan and you just have to execute on it.

Re: Journey of life 13 Jun 2018 15:23 #332166

  • lifebound
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 225
  • Karma: 35
mzl wrote on 13 Jun 2018 15:15:
I hope you are not like me. I would feel like a burden calling a sponsor. It sounds like you have a plan and you just have to execute on it.

Chances are I am very much like you.
I feel the same way, which is why I hadn't been making regular program calls. But that's what a sponsor and others are there for.

It doesn't matter what I feel, I need to take the appropriate action.

From the white book, page 147 (emphasis added):

"A hundred such incidents and I was beginning to learn that the key to doing what did not come naturally was surrender, the key to this whole program. The key to my own happiness. When I distrust my own feelings and just go ahead and do what's right, the miracle happens and I'm out of my dark hole."

Last Edit: 13 Jun 2018 15:37 by lifebound. Reason: grammar

Re: Journey of life 13 Jun 2018 17:36 #332167

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 28 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 996
Sounds like a plan.

Re: Journey of life 13 Jun 2018 20:14 #332181

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 1090 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1959
Lifebound, you are an inspiration for so many here. Sorry to hear about the fall, but it takes great courage to share it. You are a great person and iyh will break free being that you are so dedicated. Hatzlocha from a chaver.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Journey of life 20 Jun 2018 15:21 #332484

  • lifebound
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 225
  • Karma: 35
I heard a great SA convention recording yesterday with a concept that really stood out to me, and I think is applicable to a lot of my emotions, like shame and self-pity.

To paraphrase the main point:
Shame is a form of pride - the quick version of shame (or other similar emotions) is: "God, You made a mistake when You made me, I am beyond redemption. You can't handle me."

Sharing the relevant part here for those interested (8 minutes long):
This attachment is hidden for guests. Please log in or register to see it.

Re: Journey of life 20 Jun 2018 15:38 #332485

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 28 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 996
When you feel ashamed you are telling yourself that you have done something which is below your standard of a worthwhile person. When you do something which is inconsistent with that standard you are actively lowering that standard. When you feel shame you are working to patch it up. So even though shame hurts like crazy it's actually a medicine for you ego. So I agree.

When I figured out that shame was a scam I was using, I resolved to never feel shame again because of my acting out, so to speak.

Re: Journey of life 20 Jun 2018 23:42 #332502

  • cordnoy
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11291
  • Karma: 521
lifebound wrote on 20 Jun 2018 15:21:
I heard a great SA convention recording yesterday with a concept that really stood out to me, and I think is applicable to a lot of my emotions, like shame and self-pity.

To paraphrase the main point:
Shame is a form of pride - the quick version of shame (or other similar emotions) is: "God, You made a mistake when You made me, I am beyond redemption. You can't handle me."

Sharing the relevant part here for those interested (8 minutes long):
This attachment is hidden for guests. Please log in or register to see it.

And as Brene Brown says: Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.

Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change. 

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Journey of life 25 Jun 2018 21:00 #332664

Thanks Lifebound for sharing this recording! I have wasted a lot of time and energy in shame and self-pity.

Re: Journey of life 07 Oct 2019 05:20 #344071

  • sleepy
  • Current streak: 778 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 538
hey lifebound !where are you?hope you’re doing well, we all miss you! Gemar chasima  tova!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Time to create page: 0.49 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes