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Break Free

Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block

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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

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TOPIC: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 18990 Views

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 26 Nov 2014 08:46 #244134

Dov OFFLINE Administrator Baby-steps; Easy does it. Posts: 1919 Karma: 355	Boy, have I hijacked this thread!!....can the owner please tell me to where he'd like to have these posts moved? Thanks Duddy or whoever it is. Sorry.
	Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em: "The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough" "Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!" "The heck with me, what can I do for you?" "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 26 Nov 2014 15:45 #244151

cordnoy
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Thanks dov,

While I am not sure where you saw that in my post, I think your words are spot on again.
No, I didn't say or think that people will care or worry or become emotional by your fall; not at all. I wasn't even referrin' to you fallin' at all.
I was simply sayin' that your definition of powerless and theirs (mine included) are different, and therefore, your words and thoughts might not be as accepted, unless it is clarified, which you did .....oh so eloquently.
I am not sure what I am more jealous about (in a kinas sofrim type of way): your years of sobriety or your eloquence of speech, prose and thought.....actually, that's not entirely accurate....it's definitely the sobriety......"ad masay higia ma'asay l.....?"

b'hatzlachah

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If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
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Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

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Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 26 Nov 2014 19:52 #244159

DuddyM OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 41 Karma: 2	Dov please send me a private message whats ur email wher we can talk? Duddy from BP

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 03 Dec 2014 03:21 #244485

Dov OFFLINE Administrator Baby-steps; Easy does it. Posts: 1919 Karma: 355	Duddy M - done Cordnoy - there you go again instigating comments out of me that you say will confuse the jellyhearted: If you only knew how screwed up and goofy I still am, you would not be so jealous. G-d is very far from done with me, yet. Just ask my wife. But your kind words are considered 100% chizzuk to me, and thanks for that, friend.
	Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em: "The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough" "Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!" "The heck with me, what can I do for you?" "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 05 Dec 2014 03:46 #244672

Shmeichel
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Dear duddy
just saw your story
i had a similar story
i owned a shop, selling things, most of my clients were local yiddishe women
i made a excellent living out of it
then there was this very attractive women living around the corner, about 70-80 foot from the shop
passing by many times daily, first by chance, then purposely
then she was coming in on a regularly basis, as if she wants to buy something
asking questions about items, while blinking with her eyes, shaking her body, etc...
you can imagine the hell i was going thru
as she was really a nice women
it really took me down the drain, as i saw in her all i was fantasizing in my p**n addiction
then one summer day, she came in with her carriage, telling me that some string was caught in the wheel, asking if i could lend her a scissor,
Once I gave her the scissors, she pretended to work on the carriage wheel, and it became clear she did it only to make me look at her.
Then & there i decided that that's it, i am not having this any more, i want to be ehrlich, i don't want to go down this route
i closed my shop, sold it, lost a lot of money on it, but saved my life, & my family's life too
b"h been clean now for 2 & a half years

when going forward gets tough, its merely a sign that you are going uphill, just give more gas
put your sobriety first; before your wife, before your kids, before your avodas HaTorah (except for the 3 that are יעבור ואל יהרג) Without sobriety you won't have any of those things!

Last Edit: 11 Dec 2014 03:09 by the.guard.

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 05 Dec 2014 03:49 #244674

Shmeichel Current streak: 980 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Smiling to YOU! Posts: 256 Karma: 18	really and truly this women did me a huge toive as i was addicted to p*** and only because she made me hit bottom, that's when i cleaned myself completely from the whole addiction
	when going forward gets tough, its merely a sign that you are going uphill, just give more gas put your sobriety first; before your wife, before your kids, before your avodas HaTorah (except for the 3 that are יעבור ואל יהרג) Without sobriety you won't have any of those things!

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 05 Dec 2014 10:05 #244693

Dov OFFLINE Administrator Baby-steps; Easy does it. Posts: 1919 Karma: 355	Wow...that's a great story and inspiring how Hashem does a perfect job leading those who want to be led. Wow. Thank you for sharing that, chaver.
	Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em: "The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough" "Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!" "The heck with me, what can I do for you?" "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 05 Dec 2014 19:32 #244712

Kedusha Current streak: 197 days OFFLINE Administrator Posts: 3167 Karma: 41	Amazing story, Shmeichel - Yashar Koach for sharing it!
	Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 05 Dec 2014 20:36 #244714

DuddyM OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 41 Karma: 2	wow R' Shmeichel i cant get over u. wish i would have the koach that u have wish i can just pick myself up and move away meanwhile i have to work around it

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 05 Dec 2014 21:44 #244720

belmont4175 OFFLINE Gold Boarder נאר אמונה אין בוכ"ע Posts: 187 Karma: 17	This story is something to Archive for the future generations to learn Mesirus Nefesh of a simple [GREAT] yid, we can't fathom the Sechar in Olom Habbo but he reaps the fruits EVERY DAY B'olom Hazeh.! On a side note, We learn from this story that "don't wait to FALL in order to get rid of it", try to avoid the triggers in the first place. Wishing everyone a Good and Uplifting Shabbos
	הסיבה שיש דברים קשים העוברים עליך היא בגלל שהאדם חושב כי "אני עומד" שהוא מנהל הכל, ברגע שיתן הכנעה כי השי"ת מנהיג הכל אז כבר אפשר להתמודד עם הקשיים. שמעתי מאדם גדול If life is a LEMON make LEMONADE Thank You Hashem for every moment of Sobriety!

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 06 Dec 2014 23:41 #244735

the.guard Current streak: 487 days OFFLINE Moderator Posts: 6416 Karma: 133	DuddyM wrote: Married happily, with kids blie"h but neighbor women on my block is my biggest trigger, by now (after a few yrs) she likes me, i like her. went a little more then passing on the street (pls don't think the worse) what should i do? who can help me? (details inquired within) Two great answers from others to this kind of thing: www.guardureyes.com/GUE/FAQ/FAQ24.asp
	Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 07 Dec 2014 00:34 #244736

the.guard
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Shmeichel wrote:

really and truly this women did me a huge toive
as i was addicted to p***
and only because she made me hit bottom, that's when i cleaned myself completely from the whole addiction

Wow. What a story. Reminds me of the story of Mar Ukvah in the gemara.

As Dov summed up so well:

"Inspiring how Hashem does a perfect job leading those who want to be led."

We can't profess to understand Hashem's ways, but the way I see it is that Hashem wanted to help you get out of the addiction, but in order to be zoche to His help, you needed a special zechus. So Hashem gave you this big nisayon - as if to ask you, "Do you really want this? Because if you do, here is your chance to get it - and fall in very deep. But if you really don't want this, NOW is the chance to make the decision". And your pure yiddishe neshama saw life and death before you, and you chose life. You were MOSSER NEFESH for LIFE. And this was exactly the zechus you needed to break free completely. The very koach of the mitzva was enough to shake off all the shmutz you were caught in!

Ashrecha. It is not common in today's world to hear such messiras nefesh for Kedusha.

Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.

Last Edit: 07 Dec 2014 00:48 by the.guard.

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 07 Dec 2014 04:48 #244740

dd OFFLINE Platinum Boarder כל זמן שהנשמה בקרבי מודה אני לפניך Posts: 879 Karma: 42	Hi DuddyM!!!! I'm a bit late but not too late. Welcome!!! I just read your thread and looks like your trying very hard so... KUTGW!!! doesn't sound easy but still easier then falling in further with this mess. and for you R' Shmeachel your story is really amazing and a huge chizuk.

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 07 Dec 2014 18:21 #244759

DuddyM OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 41 Karma: 2	Two great answers from others to this kind of thing: www.guardureyes.com/GUE/FAQ/FAQ24.asp[/quote] Thanks the.guard Amazing clear view on the issue

Re: Any1 can relate to me? Issue: Neighbor on my Block 11 Dec 2014 00:33 #245010

Kedusha
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