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Double life syndrome

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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

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TOPIC: Double life syndrome 9670 Views

Re: Double life syndrome 25 Jan 2015 06:32 #247596

SIB101854 Current streak: 3291 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 508 Karma: 25	What an inspiring read! When my Eshes Chayil and I discusssed my addiction to porn and masturbation and she urged me to run to a therapist and to join GYE, it was an amazing turning point in my life.

Re: Double life syndrome 06 Feb 2015 19:17 #248276

Dov
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Baby-steps; Easy does it.
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unanumun wrote:

So the two captain Kirk's have officially collided. I told my wife over the last week (posts to come about that on my regular thread) and boom!!!! everything that has been said about breaking down the barriers between the two worlds being important for recovery has become clear to me.
For the first time, I had the REAL feeling that the ME that everyone knows has had a problem with porn and masturbation. It was a very humbling experience. As the dust settles and the emotions come to grips with it, it is becoming a real freeing and growing experience as well.
This thread was the first one that I started, and now I guess I can say that to a large extent, the thread has ended.
Yes, most people that I interact with don't know my secrets, but there are plenty other secrets they don't know about me. The only one who knew everything about me except for these issues was my wife. And now she knows absolutely everything about me, so with the help of the Ribbono Shel Oilam and all the wonderful fellow members of GYE, I can say with tears in my eyes,

I no longer suffer from Double Life Syndrome.
The end

Alei v'hatzlach, chaver. This is the opening of the door only, as I think will become more and more clear to you.

Isn't it amazing how oblivious we are, how insensitive to so much of reality, until we actually start doing things differently, walking the walk instead of just talking the talk? And I am amazed in my own life on a continuing basis how much I am still growing up simply because of continuing to work/live my program honestly in everyday life in small and big ways.

Your share here is so wonderful, man...

I rarely have time for the forum these days but popped on and saw this. What a gift!

Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em:
"The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough"
"Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!"
"The heck with me, what can I do for you?"
"I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"

Re: Double life syndrome 08 Feb 2015 00:03 #248286

climbingdan
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You asked if it is early for you to take on the 90 day chart. It is wonderful. But the main thing is not the acting out or not. The main thing is the change in direction. Being "clean" is the result. It may take time.

This is true. But the first thing is to to stop the acting out. True, staying abstinent will not work on the term. But as long as one is drunk then the new way of thinking and dealing with life cannot possibly enter a full brain and a WACKED body.

Re: Double life syndrome 08 Feb 2015 16:46 #248311

unanumun
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Dov wrote:

I rarely have time for the forum these days but popped on and saw this. What a gift!

You deserve the gift Dov!!!!

And you are so right. I have moved on to alot of introspection and the biggest point has been seein myself honestly. Where am I really holding in the many areas, I thought I was holding in.
The honesty just keeps opening up more and more doors to knowing myself better, becoming a better person, and living life.

!!!!חזק חזק ונתחזק

My Threads:
I think I miss the nida times
A Journey Without A Name
Double Life Syndrome

Re: Double life syndrome 04 Mar 2015 12:46 #249931

Dov
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Baby-steps; Easy does it.
Posts: 1920
Karma: 357

Wow.

What gave you what you now have, though, was not introspection, right? It was the magic of opening up honestly to another. The 'battle' most of us professional hiders (read: porn and masturbation users - especially among the frum) have, is opening up. And believe it or not, it remains the battle!

We often open up as you have, then start to see the 'magical' self-honesty that results from our great act of honesty...only to start believing that now that we have made the 'right of passage' we are cured, different somehow.

Sadly, it's not that way.

You started finding that honesty with self does not come from introspection, but as a result of opening up to others. I implore you to keep doing what got you here, rather than what many of us do: run off enjoying a gift we really do not own. It was a gift we got by opening up uncomfortably - and will remain a gift we keep only by opening up uncomfortably.

You may find that your wife is not the best person for that job...

Hatzlocha whatever you find, chaver!!

- Dov

Re: Double life syndrome 04 Mar 2015 19:18 #249952

gibbor120 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder NEVER EVER GIVE UP! Posts: 5251 Karma: 165	Thanks dov, you said exactly what I needed to hear!
	My Home \| My Links \| Dov Quotes \| Dr. Sorotzkin \| Handbook \| Additional Tools \| AA Audio \| Shalom Bayis \| Skep's Tips

Re: Double life syndrome 10 Jan 2016 02:54 #273789

cordnoy
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I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
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unanumun wrote:

Dov wrote:

I rarely have time for the forum these days but popped on and saw this. What a gift!

And Una, as you keep tellin' us this, it must really be true.....honesty leads to even more honesty!

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."

Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Double life syndrome 10 Jan 2016 17:38 #273854

unanumun OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 672 Karma: 94	To be honest, -- You're right
	!!!!חזק חזק ונתחזק My Threads: I think I miss the nida times A Journey Without A Name Double Life Syndrome