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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: Tryin' 239570 Views

Re: tryin 28 Aug 2013 01:09 #217504

  • gibbor120
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Ditto to AE.

I think the point made above is - don't obsess about not looking. DON'T Look, but if you are constantly obsessing about not looking, that is not good either. I think of it as "back burner". In the back of your mind, you realize you need to keep your eyes where they belong, but you don't focus on it constantly. Maybe before you leave the house, you think to yourself "I am going to a dangerous place, and I will guard my eyes", and maybe even find something engaging to think about so you are not distracted by your surroundings.

But keeping count, sounds like it is on the front of your mind.

You mention being competitive. I can relate. I think for me, it is a product of low self-esteem. If I win, I'm a winner - right? It's more about being afraid to lose (and feel like a loser) than a desire to win.

Are you a perfectionist like me? Did you read the Dr. Sorotzkin stuff on perfectionism?

I highly recommend it.

Re: tryin 28 Aug 2013 01:14 #217505

  • cordnoy
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thanks
im not mamash a perfectionist, but close
i read it before, but i can read it again
is it in your link?

thanks again
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 01 Jan 2014 02:26 by cordnoy.

Re: tryin 28 Aug 2013 01:19 #217508

  • gibbor120
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Deleted
Last Edit: 01 Jan 2014 20:11 by gibbor120.

Re: tryin 28 Aug 2013 01:30 #217510

  • cordnoy
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thank you


and as a great man said before signing off today, "Tonight is more important than R"H and Y"K (staying clean), for tonight is today and there is nothing more crucial that staying clean today!

thanks again
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 01 Jan 2014 02:27 by cordnoy.

Re: tryin 28 Aug 2013 10:54 #217542

  • thatguyoverthere
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Just read through this thread, and Im inspired. Keep on the good work!
I am only on day 4, but I intend this streak to go on forever.
He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls. /Mishlei 25:28

Re: tryin 28 Aug 2013 13:50 #217552

  • chesky
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cordnoy wrote:

all my stupid own fault
just havin a few yuchy days
in one way, tryin to work even more on myself, and at the same time, feeling around for triggers

how stupid and dumb can i get!

Avrom,

A big part of recovery is acceptance; acceptance that we are addicts and acceptance that we are human and make mistakes.

If we except our limitations (powerlessness) then we will find it easier to let go and let HaShem help us.

May He grant us all a sober and SANE day.
Last Edit: 28 Aug 2013 13:53 by chesky.

Re: tryin 28 Aug 2013 13:51 #217553

  • chesky
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chesky wrote:
cordnoy wrote:

all my stupid own fault
just havin a few yuchy days
in one way, tryin to work even more on myself, and at the same time, feeling around for triggers

how stupid and dumb can i get!

Avrom,

A big part of recovery is acceptance; acceptance that we are addicts obsessive over lust, and acceptance that we are human and make mistakes.

May Gd grant us all a sober and SANE day.

Re: tryin 28 Aug 2013 17:19 #217575

  • cordnoy
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thanks for all the chizuk
today seems like a better one

(guess I made a good choice...yuch). I will every day, moment make the right choice. I did it for so many days; I can continue...not for another so many days, but just for right now, and now now, and now....now.
thanks for getting me thru this

Onward.....till...NOW!!!!!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 18 Feb 2016 23:49 by cordnoy.

Re: tryin 28 Aug 2013 18:59 #217587

  • chesky
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cordnoy wrote:
(guess I made a good choice...yuch)

Ah denial, precious denial! Arn't our addicted heads wonderful things!

The luxury of posting everything is that you don't even have to remind yourself, you can just go back and read what you wrote.

Are you sure that you want to go back to where you were about five or six posts back?
Last Edit: 28 Aug 2013 19:00 by chesky.

Re: tryin 28 Aug 2013 19:17 #217591

  • cordnoy
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chesky:
i am not one hundred percent sure your point.
Can you spell it out for me?
i am thick-skinned, and I can handle it.

thank you so much
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: tryin 28 Aug 2013 21:00 #217611

  • chesky
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I wasn't trying to be tough that you need to be thick-skinned. I am sorry if it sounded that way. It was probably because I related so much to what I perceived as your reaction.

Your post reminded me of the guy who was desperately looking for a parking spot. In desperation he cries “HaShem please help me find a spot!” and in front of his eyes someone pulls out. To which he replies “It’s ok HaShem I found one already”.

So that is how I am. I am confronted with a situation and I say “powerless, powerless, powerless…..!!!!” “HaShem, HaShem!” and when I pull through, I say “maybe I did have the right judgment after all” or “I survived a day of lusting without acting-out, so maybe I CAN handle it!”

Thank you for reminding me.

I hope this clarifies my point.

Re: tryin 28 Aug 2013 21:40 #217623

  • cordnoy
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thanks for clarifying.

i think you did not understand my line.

i was not writing that i made a good choice by stopping; yes, i know God plays a big role in all of this....although i'm not a "powerless, powerless" type of guy...i understand it, feel it at times, but i don't write it and feel it in every post.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 01 Jan 2014 02:30 by cordnoy.

Re: tryin 29 Aug 2013 01:49 #217692

  • chesky
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Thanks for clarifying and your honesty.

May HaShem grant us a clean and sane day.

Re: tryin 29 Aug 2013 17:46 #217747

  • cordnoy
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Good morning
I thank Hashem for another clean (and good) day.

I will not be updating the site, the numbers.
You will see 90 on Yom Kippur; no doubt!
That I know.

More than that, who cares?
We will not think about it.

Guard, you can put it to 90 right now.
This way, at least we can take out the Woodford now. On Y"K, its kinda a problem.

b'hatzlachah to all
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 18 Feb 2016 23:50 by cordnoy.

Re: tryin 29 Aug 2013 17:48 #217748

  • tryingtoshteig
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"ויעזור ויגן ויושיע לכל החוסים בו ונאמר אמן" -- ArtScroll Gabbai's Handbook
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