They say the call yesterday was pretty good; one fellow even called me afterwards, several emailed or texted.

• Blue book - Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - "Why does he behave like this? If hundreds of experiences have shown him that one drink means another debacle ...., why take that one drink? What has become of the common sense.....?"
• White book - Tolerance - "Tolerate more of the drug or activity and get less from its use .... we remember how our lust escalated over the years." Attempted abstinence - "Some of us stopped every time we acted out!" Withdrawal - "Symptoms the addict may experience when deprived of the drug or activity. Not feedin' the hunger doesn't kill us!"
• Step into Action - "We are drawn helplessly to lust, tradin' short-term pleasure for long-term pain, over and over again. If we permit a lust thought to remain in our heads w/o dealin' with it immediately, we begin physical, mental, spiritual, emotional and neurological changes within us. When we gave away our weakness, we began to find hope."
• Rabbi Abraham Twerski MD - a woman is gaga over her perspective husband although he has abusive tendencies; she thinks she will change him; he becomes empowered after he acquires her.

Thursday - 9:15 AM - "shoot the breeze" call - no readin' - be ready to share (ouch!).

Friday - 10:15

cordnoy wrote on 26 May 2021 19:38:

Tomorrow's call - 10:15 - more book readin'.

Recap/tidbits from today's "shoot the breeze" call:

• ​Out of isolation. The chiddushim for me are rarer and rarer these days. Pain of loneliness is definitely part of what drives me. Shaar Bitachon helps.
• Internal clock punchers (what?)
• Women of ill repute - it's a turnoff when you know they're after your money!
• Orgasms
• What makes me do it? What am I gainin'? Am I?
• We are all in a better place.
• Where da Hell is Una?

Started out slowly, but then took off B"H!

• Blue book - Dr's letter, loss of power of choice to drink, lust; there is a solution
• White book - H.A.L.T.; addictive process - is our drug of choice "friend" or "foe"?
• Action book - HW - I concede that I am completely incapable of handlin' lust, as manifested etc.
• RAJT - One episode of physical abuse is once too many; denial will not make anythin' go away.

Godspeed to all!

cordnoy wrote on 28 May 2021 15:18:

This last line is not just for abuse, it applies to anything and everything (except for people, and even then...) including lust. If anything ignoring things allows for them to grow.

You mentioned this, but I thought it deserves a honorable mention.

Good mornin'
Call schedule for the week God-willin'
Today Tuesday - 1:15 - Homework due
Thursday the 3rd - 10:30
Friday the 4th - 10:15

cordnoy wrote on 01 Jun 2021 15:08:

Good mornin'

Call 10:30 today

Tuesday we had one live share and several via email. Always room for more.

There's a call tomorrow as well.

Movin' along......

A gutten Erev Shabbos,

My apologies; I really wanted this to work.

There are several reasons why I'm thinkin' that it isn't, and I'm not sure which is primary:

• Things happen at work, and a schedule and closin' the door is not always the solution.
• I am not in the correct frame of mind.
• I can't say because of participation, and I could say. There are 3,5,7 people involved, and that's more good than not.

Bottom line, as of now, I can't.

My hesitation, however, is that there are some fellows that are really takin' this seriously, and I respect that, I crave that personally, and I don't wanna mess up that progress.

Therefore, I'm completely switchin' the model, and this may not work for some. It's on you.

Either, email or call me when you're available, and we can do step work or shmuez or read from any book - providin' that I'm available.

Or, with some advance notice, send me an email or text what time you may be available that day, and I will respond accordingly.

Godspeed to all - I do wanna do my part, so please take advantage - this is not a burden; it's what I wanna do.

Thanks

A

Thanks. I might take you up on the offer. The phone calls were at hard times for me to participate.

cordnoy wrote on 04 Jun 2021 14:10:

not a single "but" in here

cordnoy wrote on 04 Jun 2021 14:10:

Guess I haven't been prayin' enough. 

Unless I was and this is His part of His master plan.

Im paga becha menuval zeh, mashcheihu l'Beis haMedrash - Reb Tzadok comments: It does not say "Rrun to the Beis Medrash" or "Escape there," but rather, "Drag him with you." This is because the passion and desire that one has for arayos and inappropriate stuff is the same drive that one can use for learnin' Torah. It is our job to transform the yetzer hara into a Torah-learnin' machine; that is how we serve Hashem with both inclinations.

In Genesis Rabbah, 9:7  we learn: “And God saw all that God had made, and found it very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.” Nahman said in R. Samuel’s name: “Very good” refers to the Good Desire; and “very good” refers to the Evil Desire. Can the Evil Desire be very good? Yes! Without the Evil Desire, no one would build a house, marry, have children, or do business.

The Rabbis believed that the yetzer ha-ra, the Evil Desire, holds life-sustaining power. It’s a challenging idea, that there can be something good – not in Evil – but in our evil desires or inclinations. The Rabbis saw our evil desires as the basis of our creativity and our productivity. If we try to repress it life grinds to a halt.

DavidT wrote on 07 Jun 2022 17:18:

Thank you. The chidush of Rav Tzadok (and I have some other sources and 'tzu shtels') is that the yetzer hara of arayos is what can and should be used to propel someone in Torah-learnin'. Yes, the yetzer hara is needed for procreation (which is actually somethin' I never quite understood - like if he was gone, our wives would undress before us, put on nice lingerie, and we'd stay in our bed and watch the Avalanche win in OT!?), but not only that, he is needed for shteigin'.

What's the mareh mokoim for this R' Tzodok?And could you elaborate a bit on this concept please? I find it fascinating that the passion for aroyos and Torah can come from the same place. What's the connection between the two?