I see your on the right track now, your open to hear and share, you will make it iy'h.

There will be a call tomorrow iyH at 2:30 est. Plan is to work (excerpts from) the books (12 & 12, big and white) in a quick movin' pace, mix in emunah from reb meilech, have time for questions or comments, and move on to life.

I'll be tryin' it!

There's a lot of One Days floating about in the choppy waters 1111

Gd Speed Boat!

cordnoy wrote on 11 Apr 2018 13:26:

By accident, I just came across what I will be usin' for the intro on the call tomorrow, and from the most unexpected of places.

We are thinkin' of schedulin' Tuesday's call for 2:00 est. Please let me know if that works.

Brief recap of yesterday's call:

1. Action book - we're in pain; driven to despair by our behaviors. We have tried stoppin' many times.Lust was/is our friend. Fantasies worked; now, they control us. Moral values went down the tube.Lust destroyed love, and can destroy the possibility of true love (see R' Twersky's video). We cannot tolerate one drink of lust. It must be eliminated! We made (or should make) a decision.

2. Big book - Jekyll & Hyde. Who are we? Lust attacks at the worst of times. We are fine people and nevertheless, we screw up. Our desires are hidden all over the house/computer, and the next day, we start the search all over again.

3. White book - the problem. We are alone & afraid. Our disconnection leads us to actin' out. Fantasy, sex with self, more fantasy. addicted to the tease and intrigue. And oh, the guilt and remorse! Driven inward; lost inside of ourselves. Searchin' and lookin' for chemistry and magic, but we will never find it. Losin' our lives.

4. Reb Meilech - when all else fails and seems hopeless (kerias yam suf), we don't turn to Torah & mitzvos (like dam pesach and milah - there is a time for that); we just shprin' (like Nachshon) - just do it! Ramban: Aaron saw the eigel - the vision of his sin, and he said: how can I come close to Hashem? the answer: Become haughty and focus on the present; he slaughtered the calf and offered it to God! A righteous person must have an eighth of an eighth of haughtiness - the eighth passuk in Parshas Shemini is this one!

Good day, good Shabbos.

Thank you for this opportunity.

cordnoy wrote on 13 Apr 2018 15:55:

Call today - 2:00 EST.

Shalom,

Been crazy busy.
Tryin' to get a new conference #.
Tryin' to write update.
Tryin' to schedule tomorrow's call - have sporadic times - as I don't know yet all who are on, the first one or two who send me a time - I can try to make that work.

Thanks

​God speed!

cordnoy wrote on 18 Apr 2018 15:26:

Thursday....Tomorrow....call @ 12:45 est. 1:00 - shmoozin', sharin', bullin', breeze-shootin'.

im constantly getting messages from u about calls that conference calls Ur active i forget always to call in @ the time, i want to join if u would be able only if its not hard to send me a email when it started already or right before it starts thanks alot i would probably call in if i can

bestmoshe83@gmail.com

we now have a new conference #.
it can now record as well.
all shares at the end will not be recorded.
also local call-in numbers for those who are outside the US of A.
Email me for details please.

God speed!

welcome back   :Moderators: skeptical, the.guard, yechidah, Kedusha, Dov, cordnoy

12:30 iyH Tuesday (tomorrow) and Thursday.

cordnoy wrote on 13 Apr 2018 15:55:

Call # 2 - sorry for the delay:

1. Action book - Step one - We admitted we were powerless over lust - that our lives had become unmanageable. We discussed that we don't fully know or agree with the concept of "powerless," but we weren't gonna dwell on it for two reasons: 1. because some of us were pretty close to it anyway, and 2. there is a varied nekudas habechirah for every individual.  We were/are defeated and lust is killin' us. By acceptin' reality and acknowledgin' our disease, by embracin' our failure, we found hope.Surrenderin' begins the buildin' of the recovery road (not "road to recovery," for there is no end goal). The concept of "we" is strong, for we need others. The power the secret had over us somehow lessened. Guilt and shame melted away; this brings about honesty - oh, how important to be honest.

And what is lust? It is the excessive and unreasonable thoughts or feelin's that drive us to use or manipulate ourselves and others to enhance our self-centeredness egotistical emotions gone wild. lust is what we get when we impose a distorted spiritual attitude upon a natural drive; it is an obsession. We trade short-term pleasure for long-term pain - over and over again. The more we act out, the greater the lust hunger; the greater the lust hunger, the more we act out! Shrek!

2. Big book - Why does he behave that way? Hundreds of experiences should prevent him from takin' that first drink. Where has common sense gone? The answer is somewhat beyond us.He and we (and I) have no idea; we do know that one drink can cause us to lose complete control.

3. White book - We don't claim that our solution is for everyone, but for us, it worked/works. As lust has become an addiction, we cannot tolerate it and we have no other choice but to stop. aspects of the addiction: 1. tolerance. 2. (attempted) abstinence. 3. withdrawal.

4. Reb Meilech - Nesivos Shalom - day of chasunah the bachur came that he lost the best years of his life - five years before the chasunah. His reply - just before you a yungerman was just here that just fapartchked the first five years of marriage which should be the best. RBS"O gives us a present - it's called the future (and present); forget about the past and focus on doin' what's right. One who lives in the basement will find rats livin' there as well - get outta da basement!

Call # 3:

1. Action book - Unmanageability - life driven by lust brings with it confusion, chaos, misery, and disaster. We have suffered and caused others to suffer, includin' those most dear to us.Preoccupied with our lust drug, we didn't/don't pay attention to those (who should be) most dear to us. We experienced moral revulsion at doin' that which we didn't wanna, but felt compelled to do so nonetheless.

2. Big book - For many of us, there is no middle of the road solution. We could go on to the bitter end, or perhaps accept help from others. We have the great obsession to drink like others, but countless vain attempts prove us otherwise. We/I have/has lost the ability to control our drinkin', and this is the first step.

3. White book - Toxicity - lust's poisonous effect on us - usually can only be felt in recovery. We can tolerate less of it than ever, and it produces a greater disturbance. Adverse physical and emotional effects upon us; emotional ruin, self-obsession, self-hatred, anger, loss of emotional control, isolation and more. Triggers, triggers and triggers.

4. Reb Meilech - Babbe came to Beis yisroel that she's concerned about ayin hara. Gemora Bava Metzia says that Rabbah said in a cemetery that 99% die from ayin hara, but he says that 99% die from not watchin' their eyes - watch your eyes and you won't need to be concerned about ayin hara.

[I'm tryin' as best as I can to be accurate, but I'm not for certain on all details regardin' the call. We had some shares afterwards as well. Emails as well]

Still need to do # 4:

Tomorrow's call - 12:30.