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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: Tryin' 240870 Views

Re: tryin 31 Jan 2018 16:06 #326236

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cordnoy wrote on 30 Jan 2018 15:06:
 if I would find God in a real way, would that help? Yes. 


hi ,i was reading your  great post ,i dont know if i belong here or if my words will have any effect but it doesnt hurt to try ,i found G-d (sorry i was brought up with a dash in middle , i aint holier than you)by reading seriously (without skeptism)Rabbi Avigdor Millers seforim ,especialy  Rejoice O` Youth.He was a great man who knew our genaration already back in the 50`s until he was niftar who introduced Hashem in a real way  in the lives of many Talmidei Chachomim and Mashpiam.just saying.

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Last Edit: 31 Jan 2018 16:08 by ieeyc.

Re: tryin 31 Jan 2018 16:34 #326238

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cordnoy wrote on 30 Jan 2018 15:06:
I don't need others to resolve my tensions; I don't need the connection to soothe the lack of connection.
it was about learnin' to be comfortable in my own damn skin - as bad and ugly and filthy as it was/is. Can I live with myself knowin' what I did and what i think? The answer was and is yes, providin' that I work recovery steps. Do I wanna remain a self-pleasin', ego maniac, self-centered, jealous, connivin', lyin' prick? Nope. So, I work the steps

Just doing chazara of what really speaks to me, even though I can't fully relate as much as I would like to. Thank you.
Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
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Re: tryin 31 Jan 2018 20:35 #326250

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ieeyc wrote on 31 Jan 2018 16:06:

cordnoy wrote on 30 Jan 2018 15:06:
 if I would find God in a real way, would that help? Yes. 



hi ,i was reading your  great post ,i dont know if i belong here or if my words will have any effect but it doesnt hurt to try ,i found G-d (sorry i was brought up with a dash in middle , i aint holier than you)by reading seriously (without skeptism)Rabbi Avigdor Millers seforim ,especialy  Rejoice O` Youth.He was a great man who knew our genaration already back in the 50`s until he was niftar who introduced Hashem in a real way  in the lives of many Talmidei Chachomim and Mashpiam.just saying.

Thanks. I listened to several of his tapes, until he said: if your child goes off the derech, don't love him. Maybe he meant somethin' else, but it didn't sound like it.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: tryin 01 Feb 2018 02:45 #326266

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i dont know what he meant , maybe he meant it literaly,all i know is that when my child when off the derech all the mechanchim that i spoke too encouraged love and acceptance ,and to try to keep the child at home, one of them is a mechanech that all the Roshei Yeshivos of a certain  makom Torah send parents of kids at risk to(and he really is great!) , BH thats what we did and BH little by little the child is coming back.(mainly thanks to that mechanich)
if Rabbi miller would have advised differently, all i know is he had a right to say his pure daas Torah,he was a gadol accepted by many gedolim.but put that aside ,the sefer rejoice o youth doesnt mention  any thing of these things just  real Emuna  and what is  Avodas Hashem,and its a very enjoyable reading, and im sure an educated person like you will enjoy it  and become a different person. i probably dont come to your shoelaces from what ive heard about you here, but you did mention this thing about  finding G-d,i  dont see any contradiction to reading his sefer and loving every jew eventhough they are off the derech.just saying.

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Last Edit: 01 Feb 2018 02:51 by ieeyc.

Re: tryin 01 Feb 2018 11:15 #326278

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ieeyc wrote on 01 Feb 2018 02:45:
i dont know what he meant , maybe he meant it literaly,all i know is that when my child when off the derech all the mechanchim that i spoke too encouraged love and acceptance ,and to try to keep the child at home, one of them is a mechanech that all the Roshei Yeshivos of a certain  makom Torah send parents of kids at risk to(and he really is great!) , BH thats what we did and BH little by little the child is coming back.(mainly thanks to that mechanich)
if Rabbi miller would have advised differently, all i know is he had a right to say his pure daas Torah,he was a gadol accepted by many gedolim.but put that aside ,the sefer rejoice o youth doesnt mention  any thing of these things just  real Emuna  and what is  Avodas Hashem,and its a very enjoyable reading, and im sure an educated person like you will enjoy it  and become a different person. i probably dont come to your shoelaces from what ive heard about you here, but you did mention this thing about  finding G-d,i  dont see any contradiction to reading his sefer and loving every jew eventhough they are off the derech.just saying.

To give credit where it's due, The book "Rejoice O Youth" basically saved me from going off the derech back in 2012. Sometimes the Rov says harsh stuff but I like it.
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

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Re: tryin 02 Feb 2018 16:10 #326359

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Dear Rabbi Cordnoy

Sometimes the Rabbi says harsh stuff but I like it
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Re: tryin 04 Feb 2018 02:49 #326379

ieeyc wrote on 01 Feb 2018 02:45:
i dont know what he meant , maybe he meant it literaly,all i know is that when my child when off the derech all the mechanchim that i spoke too encouraged love and acceptance ,and to try to keep the child at home, one of them is a mechanech that all the Roshei Yeshivos of a certain  makom Torah send parents of kids at risk to(and he really is great!) , BH thats what we did and BH little by little the child is coming back.(mainly thanks to that mechanich)
if Rabbi miller would have advised differently, all i know is he had a right to say his pure daas Torah,he was a gadol accepted by many gedolim.but put that aside ,the sefer rejoice o youth doesnt mention  any thing of these things just  real Emuna  and what is  Avodas Hashem,and its a very enjoyable reading, and im sure an educated person like you will enjoy it  and become a different person. i probably dont come to your shoelaces from what ive heard about you here, but you did mention this thing about  finding G-d,i  dont see any contradiction to reading his sefer and loving every jew eventhough they are off the derech.just saying.

Very well said

Re: tryin 04 Feb 2018 11:57 #326404

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AvigdorBenYisroel wrote on 04 Feb 2018 02:49:

ieeyc wrote on 01 Feb 2018 02:45:
i dont know what he meant , maybe he meant it literaly,all i know is that when my child when off the derech all the mechanchim that i spoke too encouraged love and acceptance ,and to try to keep the child at home, one of them is a mechanech that all the Roshei Yeshivos of a certain  makom Torah send parents of kids at risk to(and he really is great!) , BH thats what we did and BH little by little the child is coming back.(mainly thanks to that mechanich)
if Rabbi miller would have advised differently, all i know is he had a right to say his pure daas Torah,he was a gadol accepted by many gedolim.but put that aside ,the sefer rejoice o youth doesnt mention  any thing of these things just  real Emuna  and what is  Avodas Hashem,and its a very enjoyable reading, and im sure an educated person like you will enjoy it  and become a different person. i probably dont come to your shoelaces from what ive heard about you here, but you did mention this thing about  finding G-d,i  dont see any contradiction to reading his sefer and loving every jew eventhough they are off the derech.just saying.

Very well said

Rabbi Miller was without question a true Gadol Batorah who changed the lives of countless individuals. His insights are truly remarkable. Please keep in mind that certain acceptable social responses and attitudes do change in the course of time. Example: striking a child due to misconduct was considered o.k. and even an effective means  of disciplining.(as long as it wasn't out of anger) In the last few decades or so Rabbi Wolbe claimed that this was no longer effective and should not be used anymore. How to deal with a wayward child is  probably similar.
Rabbi Miller passed in 2001 at the ripe old age of 93 

Re: tryin 15 Feb 2018 14:23 #327000

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I have been meanin' to write this for a while:

In Beshalach, it says: So Moses said to Joshua, Pick men for us, and go out and fight against Amalek. Tomorrow I will ….. Now Moses hands were heavy; so they took a stone and placed it under him, and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur supported his hands…..

Targum Yonasan provides a fascinating insight: Moses our Teacher was punished (and he lost the ability of lifting his hands upwards) because he did not act with ‘zerizus’ – he delayed the battle until the morrow; he should have removed the tumah from the land immediately and not procrastinate in delivering the salvation for the Jewish people.

Reb Meilech Beiderman adds: In truth, the Tzaddikim have already hinted this in the verse itself: and go out and fight against Amalek tomorrow – it is incumbent upon us to immediately wage battle and eradicate the ‘Amalek’ that resides within us that threatens every one of our good deeds – and attempts to delay them until the morrow. He encourages us to think as follows: “Behold I am what I am today, and God-willing, tomorrow, I will take myself to serve God.” This is actually the manner of the Evil Inclination – first he connives us into thinking that all hope is lost – we will never be able to remedy that which we sinned and stained our souls. Or he will convince us that we will never be able to remain steadfast in our commitments, so why bother?! If he realizes that the person will not be listening to him, he tries a different tactic by using his slippery tongue, and he says: “It is preferable that you start fresh and clean tomorrow” – his intention is to postpone the willingness to do good and thus the person’s inspiration will be weakened. It will then be easier for him to convince you the next day that it is not worth it at all.

Hence, the quote: Today! Dammit! Today!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: tryin 15 Feb 2018 14:46 #327002

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Nice!
In truth it can be turned around the other way as well. Sometimes an effective tactic against an urge is to tell yourself to push it off until later, and by then hopefully we will be in a more rational state of mind and be able to ignore it and move on to other things. In this way we use the YH's own weapon against him. This can be also seen hinted in the Pasuk "Go out and fight against Amalek - (by saying) Tomorrow!"
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


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"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

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Re: tryin 16 Feb 2018 13:59 #327045

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Everythin' good comes at the price of some other pain, risk of shame or disapproval. I tend to choose the familiar pains over new ones.

I think that's probably too bad.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: tryin 20 Feb 2018 09:49 #327182

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Today yes today there need to be victory, today is just as much a part of eternity and any of tomorrow kingdom of victory, for from now to forever, and this day may I really havwe something to praise HaShem for, that today with the infinite help I control my desires, and they became a blessing for me, and not any other human losted because I stole of them, the things that would be of their abundance. Yes I do, I come to this site for a breath of inspiration, I leave its halls with healing in my wings, I know I can wait now the unfruitful hour, for my Maker has given and a covenant of living that makes it possible that all men can and will thrive.
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: tryin 20 Feb 2018 23:49 #327208

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Josephsbrother wrote on 20 Feb 2018 09:49:
Today yes today there need to be victory, today is just as much a part of eternity and any of tomorrow kingdom of victory, for from now to forever, and this day may I really havwe something to praise HaShem for, that today with the infinite help I control my desires, and they became a blessing for me, and not any other human losted because I stole of them, the things that would be of their abundance. Yes I do, I come to this site for a breath of inspiration, I leave its halls with healing in my wings, I know I can wait now the unfruitful hour, for my Maker has given and a covenant of living that makes it possible that all men can and will thrive.

You have an amazing talent
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Re: tryin 22 Feb 2018 19:15 #327299

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So you know things are bad when you're sittin' in waitin' room of therapist after a year long hiatus, and your phone beeps with message from therapist: I'm sorry but I was on my lunch break and on returnin' now, I got rearended and we will need to reschedule.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Tryin' 22 Feb 2018 20:18 #327308

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Oh wow that’s frustrating.. I know when I go to therapy I try to get really in the zone.. and then to get cancelled on, that would be like a slap across the face.
But that type of hashgacha only comes from milimala, well really hakol milimala
So somehow i know that somehow somewhere there’s a plan for the best
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