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losing my way
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: losing my way 7339 Views

Re: losing my way 01 Feb 2009 17:40 #2722

  • andsm1
i wanted to bounce something off everyone here

i had a thought that the one we here refer to as the yetzer hara/evil/impulse etc. may not really be evil but actually the only thing that enables us to succeed as beings with free will and obligations to abide by

does anyone else see where i am going with this ?

im not saying we should bend to this yetzers will G-d forbid!

but i see him as more of a sparing partner whos function is to enable me to earn my keep

like a sparing partner

anyon else see it this way ........cause it helps me to not see him as an unbeatable force if i bring him down to that level i guess ...........
Last Edit: by want2btahor.

Re: losing my way 01 Feb 2009 17:53 #2723

  • battleworn
You're 100% right! But you also have to remember that the way he fights is very mean and very dirty. You can't put anything past him!
If you stay positive and confident, while at the same time you keep your guard up and be prepared for all kinds of attacks, you'll succeed!
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 01 Feb 2009 18:40 #2725

  • me
The answer is clear and simple:

1)Yes, the Y"H was given to us by hashem in order for us to use free choice in order to choose good, and thereby create a closeness with our creator.

2) The Y"H, fights dirty, and goes way beyond what he is supposed to do. (similiar to the question chaza'l ask on Mitzrayim. Why were the Mitzrim punished if they in fact  fulfilled the nevoah. Answer: because they went beyond Hashem's tzivoiy in causing tzar to Am Yisroel.
    The Y'H, lies to us, and the when we listen to his seductions, he turns around and begins to be m'katreg,( when he himslef was the makshil.) He does not hold by the halacha (min Hatorah)  of Dan L'kaf Z'cus. He holds by nothing other than absolute destruction.

3) And if he is so good, why do chaza'l tell us to scream out at him all of his names: Rasha, K'sil, Zaken,Menuval, etc......
Last Edit: 03 Feb 2009 19:56 by averich89.

Re: losing my way 03 Feb 2009 17:31 #2796

  • Chasdei Avos

You are incredible. What you say is most definitely emes. But whats amazing is that you're like Avraham Aveenu. You never even learned that aspect of the yetzer Haraa but through your accomplishments in this war, you yourself came to this insight. I have learned about it, but you live it. WOW keep it up. Also, its a secret that when you know, can definitely enable you to win, cuz you know that there is really nothing more that the yetzer haraa really wants than you to beat him. That is why it says that when the torah says "Tov MIOD" in maase bireishis, it is referring to the yetzer Hara. Because only with the Yetzer Hara can one grow to his true heights.

I hope you dont mind if I use your thread to share a bit:

I am indebted to everyone hear for all eternity, because I have bli ayin hora with ezras Hashem always, I have been clean, almost as a whistle, since rosh chodesh Elul. Hashem should continue to give us all the strength we need.

Around elul time I lost my job, and although I was not unhappy bec I really didnt enjoy it that much, I got down and frustrated a lot. However, I spent a few hours each day writing and reading on this web site. Since then, I feel like I have broke free (hopefully from the menuval). I now see that I must kiss Hashem and hug Him a trillion times for giving me the opportunity to be unemployed so that I could spend time on this website. I davened for many years that I should overcome this particular Y"H, and now, (as Hashem always does, we just don't always see it), Hashem answered my tefillos by taking away my job, so I could focus on this addiction (which I never ever thought was an addiction) and now I see the Yad Hashem.

Part of what has been working for me is a complete ban on TV, no matter how clean the show or movie is. For me, just getting near a TV (with cable) is dangerous. So I hav not even watched 2 mins of TV Bezras Hashem since then. The hardest is on vacation, where I always used to kick back and watch a movie. But I realized that would be too dangerous. Not to mention that the hotel TV's are X rated even if you don't officially watch anything X rated, because just scrolling is terrible.

Thank you all and thank You Hashem and please let our struggles (not just our victories) be a zchus for all sick and jobless in the world.

Biahava Rabba

Last Edit: 03 Feb 2009 20:46 by ninety.

Re: losing my way 03 Feb 2009 21:05 #2800

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 487 days
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 6364
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Wow, chasdei Avos, it's great to hear from you. I get the "chills" remembering how inspired you were by our site back then.

What an inspiration you are! If you agree, I would like to put you up on our "Wall of Honor" for those who have been clean for more than 90 days! And if you can send us your story ( , I could put it up on our site and it could be an inspiration for Yidden for many years to come!
Webmaster of - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by kricher.

Re: losing my way 03 Feb 2009 22:10 #2804

  • Chasdei Avos
sure, but please continue to daven for my continued success. how should i send you my story if i write it?
Last Edit: by woman.

Re: losing my way 03 Feb 2009 22:32 #2805

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 487 days
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 6364
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If you are comfortable posting your story on the forum, you can write it here. Or you can send it to me at, like I wrote above.

Also, so that I can put you on the Wall of Honor, can you tell me please for how long you are clean, and your marriage status (married, single?)

Yasher koach!
Webmaster of - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Jew.

Re: losing my way 22 Feb 2009 19:45 #3167

  • andsm1
well i havent been here in a while

mostly cause im going through the most unbelievably difficult period of my life

bottom line is if certain people get their way i could lose everything i care about ...........this is a real situation .........

on a lighter note i have been really careful with where i look and have been m******* and p*** free for nearly 2 months

i need all the prayer i can get
my name is shmuel yitzchak ben pelah/שמואל יצחק בן פלה

those of you who have lost your lives before will certainly understand what it is i am implying and talking about

i feel that G-d is with me but i also don t feel rasured

i need a special zechut now to get past this chapter

Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 22 Feb 2009 19:57 #3168

  • mdmjerusalem
shmuel yitzchok ben pelah
our prayers are with you
I really hope you do not lose your LIFE
but who knows if you are of losing or gaining
Last Edit: by fareik.

Re: losing my way 23 Feb 2009 16:19 #3197

  • Chasdei Avos
andsm1: I'm very sorry about your current matzav. Hashem should bring you a geula sheleima from your difficult situation.
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 23 Feb 2009 16:23 #3198

  • Chasdei Avos
Guard: I have bli ayin haraa been clean for 6 months. I am Baruch Hashem married.
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 23 Feb 2009 17:14 #3204

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 487 days
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 6364
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Andsm1, our thoughts are with you in this difficult time. I am sure that in the merit of Shmiras Ainayim and shmiras habris, hashem will open the channels of blessing for you. I bless you in the name of all the great warriors here with Hatzlacha in all you do. Keep strong. You are building a foundation for your soul in these trying times.


Chasdei Avos, Can I put you up on the WOH chart? The more people there, the more others will be inspired.

And if you can send us your story, and include in the story about how our site helped you - it could really inspire others!

Webmaster of - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by yehoshua.

Re: losing my way 23 Feb 2009 20:59 #3220

  • Ykv_schwartz
I wrote your name down and I will daven for you. 
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 24 Feb 2009 15:46 #3231

  • Chasdei Avos
sure you could put me in the woh. Thank you
Last Edit: by .

Re: losing my way 27 Mar 2009 13:31 #4190

  • andsm1
hi i havent replied in  months because frankly i had no net connection

thank G-d i am ok for now

my family and i moved to north israel

we won a major/minor victory against people who would insist that all of us here on this site are insane probably

but we arent out of the woods

also all thus stress has put our emunah to its ultimate test

its analogious to when after the akeidah avraham hears about his brother and his resounding success in children while for 100 years avraham had to perfect himself and nearly sacrifice his son to gain the rigfhts even to have additional ligitimate offspring from his promised son

i have heard that that news was an even larger test then the akeidah

to have such problems and have to beg G-d for things we all take for granted

and then to hear that a idol worshipping brother has even greater apparent success with no or little effort

and to accept this as G-ds way and not complain

i am not on that level

not even a 10th

i lost much of what i had gained over the last 4 months

i fell and sinned many times

though i felt bad and went through the tikunim i know of every time

and others in my family just feel that G-ds wrath must be on us and if so what is the point of trying

this is how many of us feel

though we go on religiously and pray anyway that our pains be lifted

these really are troubled time for us all

we are constantly accused of horrible deeds that we dont do and are often not given the time o day to defend ourselves till the last minute or not at all

while real offenders go unpunished unnoticed and unchecked

and our accusers are as guilty as they claim we are

i dont know what else to say

i dont know why i am held to such a high standerd that i am watched so closely ........... ???
Last Edit: by .
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