Matzah: Letting go of the hot air
I used to be scared of giving up the lust. This was when I was using it as a means to fill an empty void deep inside of me. But when I did much honest soul searching, I was finally willing to take "risks" - which were just in reality "trusting in Hashem" no matter what, and I made changes in my life by finding kedushah to fill this void instead.
Now... when I take that Shabbos walk and all of the inflated chometz is walking down the street, there IS a voice that says to "have a glance"... BUT, there is a much louder voice now that clearly reminds me of the bitterness that I will taste if I do have this look. I remember so so very well this bitter bitter MAR taste (for me it is maybe just as bitter as the morrer is meant to be, to remind us of the bitterness in mitzrayim). That bitter struggle of "wanting to lust, and yet trying not to". This struggle is so bitter because it is a paradox. How can I try to want something that I in fact want? And therefore it can only really work when we are willing to let go of lusting altogether.
Pesach is the most appropriate time to make this change. We must work on the ROOT. Stop fighting the lusting. It's time to leave the lusting alone and change into a person that no longer lusts. A person that no longer has the "need" to lust. A person that has many many more important things in his life than lusting.
As we all know, lusting is only temporary. When we go out to grab it... it turns out to be all air, i.e. nothing to hold on to. It was all imagination... it wasn't really REAL.
This is the entire difference between bread and Matzoh. They are both made of flour and water, but... the bread (chometz) has the air added which inflates it. The lust is pure air, pure chometz... nothing to hold on to. Those images are pure chometz... all inflated - not really REAL.
Let us all use the rest of Pesach, zman cheruseinu - the time of our freedom, to really beseech the Ribbono Shel Olam and tell him:
Ribono Shel Olam, I have removed all of the chometz from my home and from my ownership, but I still have some non physical chometz left in my mind. PLEASE, PLEASE help me to remove this also, and let me taste the real taste of Cheirus-Freedom.
Pesach is the most auspicious time to remove ALL chometz and come to REAL freedom, how can Hashem possibly not answer us?