Depression in Sobriety
"I've been a member of GYE for over a year and a half. Recently, I have gotten married to my wonderful wife. Since I got married, I have been clean. I have a therapist and a GYE partner who I keep up with. I've read a lot about other people's success stories, and the common thing they share is that after a while of not using, they find joy, emotions, passions, interests, and love etc. I am currently over 7 months clean and still have depression (for which I take medicine), and I get into the escape mode a lot (I surf the news or just try to numb my existence). I'm feeling lost, what am I missing?"
-Lost in Depression
You may need to change medication and/or therapists if they are not helping your depression. But what you describe here is not altogether unusual. Not everyone finds joy, passions, interests, and love after stopping the acting out. As a matter of fact, the acting-out is often not the problem, but rather the "solution" we had been using for dealing with life's problems. So when we stop, our issues may become even more marked and acute. It then becomes our job in recovery to actively pursue joy and passion.
Depression can also be a symptom of feeling a lack of fulfillment in your life, or a lack of spirituality. Is there anything you can do to improve in these areas?
You may find Dov's recordings enlightening.
Stay sober, my friend,