The Library

Hi, I've been a hardcore addict for as long as I remember myself. I'm technically still married but in divorce proceedings. B"h, I have 3 beautiful boys whom I love dearly. My journey into recovery started in 2015 when my wife got serious about divorce. I always knew I ha...

A woman wrote to us: I got rid of my computer last year because I felt it was a constant distraction, and rather than addressing everything I needed to, I was distracting myself. But to do that meant quitting my job - which was an easy, work from home well-paying positi...

Dear GYE, 4 and a half years ago my wife "caught" me looking at pornography by randomly checking our browser history. I was happily married at the time with a son, and a daughter on the way but I had simply slipped easily back into by adolescent ways, easy as that. The ...

I've just reached 90 days for the second time, only the last time I acted out on day 91! There is a great difference between now and then, as then I was--as they call it-- a "dry drunk," without doing much to stay clean. But this time it's with 3 times per week live me...

What has helped me stay clean, b”H, the past 90 days? Firstly, all the incredible support of GYE and its members. There is no doubt that this is the strongest point. Also, seeing the fantasy thoughts as the nisayon they are, clarified it as something outside of me and not...

Dear GYE, Today is 90 days I’m tasting the sweet sound of it Savouring its warmth What a magnificent gift My gratitude is immeasurable For not only has lust been subdued My essence has changed, improved Working on this struggle Has affected deep inside I’m a new person ...

Yesterday, the internet was down at work. That means the techies come in and get to work.Till 48 days ago, I always got nervous when this happened. What if they start digging and find out all the stuff I saw? It may not be inappropriate websites but my boss would probably...

First and foremost the first step in the right direction for me was clarity. Clarity, sincerity, and honesty with myself. The breaking point of rock bottom. The looking in the mirror with shame, disgust, yet daring to search for my soul and beg for it to fight. Even that ...

I started to count the days a few months ago, but then my sponsor said that for me, the counting is too much of a pressure and I should take it just "one day at a time". So for a long time, it just said "Day 1" under my name on the 90-day chart. And I loved it that way. L...

I started on Recovery when I was busted by my wife. I had been acting out for more than 30 years. That first night after I was busted, I went to sleep and I knew I was in big trouble with my wife. While lying in bed, I imagined myself in Beit Din Shel Mala at the end of m...

Wow, I did it! 90 days! I would first like to thank you guys for your special work. You guys are really saving klal yisroel. I just wanted to share a couple of ideas that helped me make it this far in my journey. The fist thing I did was take it one day a time. I read thi...

My name is Boruch and I'm a regular chasidishe bucher learning in Israel. About a year ago, I read an article in the Mishpacha magazine (Lifelines section) about a man who struggled with internet pornography and found the site called GYE and recovered through it by keep...

I get a Mazal Tov, I had a baby boy now, and it's a miracle of GYE! Let me tell you the story in short: About a year and a half ago, when I first came to your site, I had 5 daughters and no sons. I met a partner on GYE with 5 boys and no girls. We became very close an...

I'm in a clean streak now and it certainly feels different. I'm reading more (yourbrainonporn.com as well as much of the online materials here). I had some major stress today. In the past, it has led me to try to escape. I'm not doing that now. I'm listening to music, ...

Dear GYE, It's been over a month since I sent GYE my first question, It was at a time when I was in a state of confusion and tension Struggling with lust fantasies and masturbation, I wondered the Torah approach in this equation I grew up in a frum home full of love, I ...

I am, B'H, now 28 days on the TaPHSiC program. I cannot begin to tell you how good I feel, B'H. No more ups and downs, no more depression. My business grew a lot. I'm guilt free. I became so much closer to my wife and kids. Would not have been able to do it without you...

Someone asked member "Hashem Help Me" on the forum: Apparently, you are not a youngster, have been using masturbation for many years, you came to GYE, went cold turkey and stayed clean. That's very impressive. Can you share with us how you achieved that? "Hashem Help Me...

Today is rosh chodesh Sivan and today is my 90th day of my journey. I can't believe this.I am sitting here by my computer in a trance.Wow! Did I really accomplish 90 days! Yup, I DID! With thanks to H' and too many other ppl to mention who all helped me pull thru. No, it ...