Perhaps it's finally time to quit counting the days and focus on making the days count...

I pray for you that you never give up your "baby-like" dependence upon Hashem to stay sober even one single day, till you die after 120. That feeling of confidence that "I'll probably stay clean now, it seems that I've got it down" is precisely what I thought between the sickest acting-out binges during all those years when I was so incredibly busy "doing teshuva". I was always so sure I'd never go "back out there".

Thinking about tomorrow is just as poisonous to me, whether I say it comes from Hashem this time, or whether I say it comes from my own power. It's poisonous because: it's a lie. No one is sober yesterday or tomorrow. We are only going to be sober today.