In future, the fast of Shiva Assar be'Tamuz is going to be a day of celebration. How can it be that a day that led to destruction is one that we're going to rejoice on? Because the destruction is what causes the rebuilding. The third Beis Hamikdash, which can only be built due to the second's destruction, is going to be so much greater than the second. For that, we rejoice.

We can use anything to go forward. Yeah, I may have created a mess. But what am I going to do with it now? Am I going to keep it a mess, or use it to help me get to a place I couldn't have previously?

Bilaam was going to curse the people. He was going to harm them. From these curses, came the greatest of blessings.

We can use our falls, we can use anything that hurts us, as stepping stones to climb higher and higher.

Menachem Responds:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you probably don't feel this way about other aveiros like missing zman krias shema, speaking lashon hara etc. - especially if you've already done teshuva for it (even though our Sages often use similar ways to describe the severity of these sins). The reason is, because those things aren't as private, and we know that many people are nichshal with them - so we just do teshuva and move on. However with this, since it's such a private area and we have no idea what others do, it's easy to think that there's something wrong with us instead of thinking that it's something wrong that we did.

As member "Hashem Help Me" wrote on the forum:

"You are not a rasha or a loser. You are not defined by this action. Most of us began when we really did not truly understand the severity of our actions. By the time we did realize, we were quite hooked. You daven, you learn, you do chessed, you respect parents and rebbeim, that is who you are. You have a bad habit that has to be dealt with, but you are not bad. Hashem does not hate you."

The yetzer hara loves it when we feel we're unworthy. Because when we feel bad about ourselves we're more likely to go back to the same behaviors, because we're looking for a way to make the pain go away. And then we feel even more unworthy, and then repeat the cycle again...

So remember that these thoughts are just nonsense coming from the yetzer hara who wants to keep you hooked. All the yetzer tov cares about is actually stopping, and it's much easier to stop when you feel good about yourself.

P.S. If you feel that you didn't do enough teshuva, you can set a time on your calendar to do a 15 minutes of teshuva, and then once the time is up, tell yourself that you're done.