E-Mail Subject: Chanukah Sameach!
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1928  
In Today's Issue
Editor’s Note: A Freilachen un a Lichtigen Chanukah!
Practical Tips: Depression in Sobriety
Prevention: Safe Playdates: 3 strategies to keep kids safe
Torah: Olive's reward
Torah: Let Him Shine for Us
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Editor’s Note
A Freilachen un a Lichtigen Chanukah!

Dear GYE Family,

have a happy and a bright Chanukah!

The Slonimer Rebbe ZT"L says that a woman who was exposed to inappropriate or immodest images or sights in her life should gaze at the flames of the chanukia. They can erase these images from her memory completely. (One should specifically ask that the images should be erased).


On a lighter note:

a woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Chanukah stamps?"

The clerk says, "What denomination?"

"Oh my God," the woman says, "has it come to this? Give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform."

May we merit that nothing but joy and lightness stays in our memory! And if depression lingers, the article below ("Depression in Sobriety") may be just the remedy.

With best wishes for continued sobriety,


Practical Tips
Depression in Sobriety
By Obormottel

"I've been a member of GYE for over a year and a half. Recently, I have gotten married to my wonderful wife. Since I got married, I have been clean. I have a therapist and a GYE partner who I keep up with. I've read a lot about other people's success stories, and the common thing they share is that after a while of not using, they find joy, emotions, passions, interests, and love etc. I am currently over 7 months clean and still have depression (for which I take medicine), and I get into the escape mode a lot (I surf the news or just try to numb my existence). I'm feeling lost, what am I missing?"

-Lost in Depression

Dear Lost,

You may need to change medication and/or therapists if they are not helping your depression. But what you describe here is not altogether unusual. Not everyone finds joy, passions, interests, and love after stopping the acting out. As a matter of fact, the acting-out is often not the problem, but rather the "solution" we had been using for dealing with life's problems. So when we stop, our issues may become even more marked and acute. It then becomes our job in recovery to actively pursue joy and passion.

Depression can also be a symptom of feeling a lack of fulfillment in your life, or a lack of spirituality. Is there anything you can do to improve in these areas?

You may find Dov's recordings enlightening.

Stay sober, my friend,


Safe Playdates: 3 strategies to keep kids safe
By pornproofkids.com

One mom recently wrote:

“What can I do to ensure that our family standards are kept and that my child remains safe from inappropriate media content while attending a playdate?”

Even Dawn Hawkins, Sr. Vice President of the National Center on Child Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE), told us that she struggles to know how to open up conversations about media standards with the parents of her kids’ friends and potential babysitters. She says:

Read article
Olive's reward
By GYE Member

The Midrash offers a parable in explaining the use of olive oil for the Menorah in the Temple: it is comparable to a king whose legions rebelled against him. However, one of his legions remained faithful and did not rebel. The king said, "From this legion that did not rebel, I will take for my rulers and governors." So did G-d say, "This olive brought light to the world in the time of Noah, as we see ‘the dove came…and it had an olive branch in its mouth’ (Vayikra Rabba 31:10)."

One commentary (Rabbi Dovid Luria known as the Radal) explains that the corruption preceding the great flood did not affect man alone, but also the animal and plant kingdoms. Different animal species tried to interbreed; plants attempted to intergraft. Only the olive branch resisted all forms of grafting. Thus, it is considered the “legion that did not rebel.” It remained pure. Because it remained faithful to G-d, the olive was chosen to be the sign of rebirth and renewal after the flood. It was chosen to be the source of light in the holiest place in the world, and the source of light for generations to come.

Let Him Shine for Us
By Yashuv V'Yashuv

You really want to stop, but maybe that desire, as deep as it is, has not made it into the kishkes (maybe a parve kishke, but not into the fleishigeh kishke). I think the way to penetrate the fleishigeh kishkes is to dwell more on the physical threats of living with this lust. Maybe reading some of the stories about where lust has progressed for many of those here on GYE, how it's affected their family life, their wives, their children. Hit bottom while you're on top! But don't dwell TOO much on the negative. Think about those people who were at the bottom - so much lower than you and I - and have managed to put their lives back together and live clean and connected, to the world, and especially to HKB"H, whose loving embrace they've taken comfort in. HKB"H does Nissim, and He does them regularly for people who are absolutely ready to change. Ask people who have seen the Nissim in their lives.

It's Chanuka tonight, and Chanuka is when HKB"H shows us his constant presence among us. Read Nesivos Shalom on Chanuka, if you can get your hands on the Kuntres. His persistent message is that the Yivanim tried to darken the light of HKB"H b/c they knew that the survival of Klal Yisroel was dependent on the light of HKB"H bringing clarity to the world. Klal Yisrael can't survive without that light; life is black, lonely, filled with slips and falls in the dark. The Neis of the Menora, which is the Avoda on Chanuka, was HKB"H calling out to us amidst the dark, begging us to let Him shine for us as it were. His light is ever present. It may appear to be just a small flame on a window sill, but its there, and the closer you come to it, the more you can see - and the stronger you feel - its heat; its power. Let the light in, come closer to it, HKB"H is calling out to us.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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