Looking Away for Just 3 Seconds
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1927  
In Today's Issue
Announcements: What to buy the kids for Chanukah?
Personal Victories: 100 Days and staying on focus
Videos: 5 Ways Social Media Screws You Over
Practical Tips: Looking away because I love Him
90 Day Journey
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Still Clean Had a fall
Haven't begun the 90 day journey yet? Click here to join.
What to buy the kids for Chanukah?

Our children love to play, but today's dolls are often not the type you would want to bring home with you. Introducing: The Shpielmans!

Adopt a frum doll family with all the bells and whistles. Your children will love the Shpielmans!

Note: One of GYE's warmest supporters is involved in this project and asked us to help spread the word.

Personal Victories
100 Days and staying on focus
By GYE Member

I am 27, married with 2 kids, learn in Lakewood. I have struggled with porn, masturbation, phonesex, google images, going through underwear drawers, and much much much more. In other words, I was a big-time luster. I was lusting everywhere: from the phones in Walmart to my friend's wife's phone that I was given for an hour to fill up with music to my other laptop. I would sometimes go to Internet cafe in a private room and just watch for an hour or two. Any filter I had I got by. My wife shut off the internet on her phone - I still found ways to search and find porn - and usually found something. I am not proud of all these things but just in case there is someone out there who finds this and thinks that he's alone - you should know, I was as perverted as they come. I used to "fill my lust deprivation" with anything - even a semi-romance book I found in a nursing home while going to be mashlim a minyan.

I thought it would never stop, everywhere I would go I would find ways and I would lose all shame. Even once after a stretch of being clean, I was in a hotel with the wife on vacation and I used the hotel computer to watch porn.

Well now, I am something like 100 days clean - I made a kabbala/deal with a friend of mine that if I fall within 90 days I will give him 1000 dollars. So it worked. I can't say I had no slips but my quality of life jumped - not right away - but after like 60 days, my mind got this setting that was like 'okay, we're not struggling anymore - it's over baby!'

Since I hit 90 days I be cruzin'! I hope it lasts. I still get hit with lust and tests and try not to look a second time or a third or a fourth or minimize - but I have already been in places with an open internet and the thought didn't enter my mind.

What helped me most of all: Hashem and a couple of friends on this great site; a lot of keeping busy; and music. But the main thing is that I used to think I have to constantly be in attack mode but now I realize once lust attacks, I am way too weak to conquer alone - so I worked on constantly being on focus - calling people, emailing people, and got close to some amazing people.

Then 2 weeks ago, I had my hardest test ever: I am clean for like 80 days or so and ..... Youtube was open on my laptop for a few minutes and I started watching some 1970's movie with nudity and in the middle I found the strength to call a friend because my focus was so strong! I just started dialing and he saved me so here I am today.

5 Ways Social Media Screws You Over
Practical Tips
Looking away because I love Him
By Blind Beggar

Today is the 19th of Kislev, the yahrzeit of the Maggid of Mezritch. I was learning his sefer and he was talking about fearing Hashem and loving Hashem.

It occurred to me that following GYE's Three Second Rule can be an exercise in both. I avert my eyes because of my fear of Hashem and thereby strengthen it. I can affirm my actions and be pleased that I was able to serve Hashem becasue I love Hashem.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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