E-Mail Subject: Advice on Happiness
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1924  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Torah: Advice on Happiness from R' Aharon Karliner
Practical Tips: Kavanah
Chizuk: No free man like he who deals in the Torah
 
 
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Torah
 
Advice on Happiness from R' Aharon Karliner
 
By Obormottel

A Letter from Reb Aaron HaGadol (Karliner)

Unedited, free translation by Obormottel

"Sadness by itself is no sin, but the apathy (lit. 'numbness of the heart') that sadness brings about, no other sin can bring about. Mikva by itself is no mitzvah - since Tvilas Ezra was annulled - but the goodness that mikva brings, no other mitzvah brings.

"In this context, joy (as opposed to sadness) is not to be understood as the joy of doing a mitzvah because the joy of a mitzvah is a high level and it cannot be expected that every Jew be of lofty spiritual stature. However, we mean simply “not-sadness.” Simply put, an understanding that if a Jew doesn’t go around happy about the mere fact that he is a Jew, then he is an ingrate towards the Heaven. It’s a sign that he never really understood the blessing 'You did not make me a gentile.' This Jew is busy contemplating, 'am I a chossid or am I not?' This thinking is pure haughtiness. A chossid?! You’re a Jew!

"Sadness is the lowest level of hell, heaven forfend. What is sadness? The interpretation of sadness is a feeling of “I'm entitled to this or that” and “I’m lacking this or that,” i.e the false sense of entitlement and lack of gratitude, both in spiritual and in mundane affairs.

"If I change places with Avrohom Avinu (and reach all his lofty spiritual levels), what will G-d gain from this? Nothing! He wants me - He already has one Avrohom...

"Bitterness means broken-heartedness. It is a feeling that I haven’t even started on my journey of life since it's impossible to advance even a hairs-breadth without self-sacrifice. And if I have self-sacrifice, then there can be no sadness (which is the opposite of self-sacrifice). If I haven’t even begun the job I was sent here to do - how can I feel entitled, how can I lack anything?! And despite my being derelict from my duties, I still draw breath, I still have all that I need - that’s a great joy and I don’t feel like I’m owed anything. The bitterness that brings about this realization is actually good.

"However, between bitterness (positive) and sadness (negative) is a mere hair’s-breadth of distance. The truth is, the entire Torah is dependent on a hair’s-breadth of distance, as is proven in the laws of shchita (slaughtering): if the majority of the simonim are cut, the animal is kosher. But if only exactly half are, then it's treif. The distance that determines majority is merely a hair’s-breadth.

"YUNGELEIT! YE LADS!

"Ascend to heavens, descend to depths. (“Yaalu hashomayimo, yordu tehomos”). Once you’re treading the waters of tzubrechenkeit (brokenness), you can end up descending into the depths of sadness. Although young people need to learn the difference between sadness and bitterness through their own work, nevertheless let me share with you the following:

"A sign that the soul-searching is brought about by sadness, Heaven forbid, and not by bitterness, is that it causes us to be lethargic, and we can’t stand our own selves and certainly not anyone else. We’re angry and critical - that’s the sign that our feelings of inadequacy were brought on by sadness.

"But following bitterness, we can’t fall asleep. We realize we can’t just be heartbroken. We have not even begun working! So we grab a Gemoro; we pray; we’re happy to see another Jew. We love others, we're not angry or irritable, and we don’t hold ourselves to any level.

"But beware: the best and most refined type of bitterness touches on sadness, Heaven forfend. Whereas the littlest of joys grows out of holiness."

Practical Tips
 
Kavanah
 
Jewish Mindfulness
 
By Allan J. Katz, LPC

The new psychology buzz word of this century is mindfulness. Mindfulness means concentrating on one thing at a time, just for concentration sake. Mindfulness can take many forms, from meditation to just sitting and focusing on what you’re doing, looking at, listening to, smelling or tasting. It’s remaining aware of what your 5 senses are experiencing in the present moment.

Read more
Chizuk
 
No free man like he who deals in the Torah
 
By GYE

Always remember to stay happy! The Yetzer Hara's biggest tool is depression and sadness. Working on one's self is not a "sad" and "confining" thing, but rather it should bring us tremendous joy that we have the merit to sacrifice our desires for the creator of the entire universe. If we take the time to think about G-d's greatness for just a few minutes each day, then, like a candle before a torch, we will feel a total bitul (self-annulment) and a true joy in being able to give G-d pleasure, by doing his will...

Someone who merits to give up his desires to G-d, experiences a great joy of freedom, like Chaza"l say " Ain Ben choirin ela mi she'osek batorah" (there is no free man like he who deals in the Torah). The Torah's way brings true freedom to a person. All the people of the world are bound like slaves to their desires. The tzadikim are the freest people on earth.

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Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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