On ******, 2015 4:26:18 PM **********@gmail.com wrote:

... The ladies on GYE are well meaning but I have no good reason for keeping the marriage at this point.

I need their support but I do not understand why they don't get out also.

Do you have guidelines on how to know which help is right for us?

After some advice, intervention and referrals she wrote back today:

From: <**********@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Dec 22, 2015 at 5:55 PM
Subject: Re: Fresh start

We are moving forward now.

I have agreed to drop the option of divorce for now and hopefully forever. I, we, are going to invest on bettering our marriage and making it a more healthy marriage.

GYE gets a huge thanks for that. Between the women who have been through the pain giving their support and advice on the forum, and the moderators who gave me specific help by email and on the site, there was a big impact.

Tizku Limitzvos

When You Caught Your Husband

Rabbi Shafier from theshmuz.com send us the above MP3 recording that he made and wrote to us as follows:

I often deal with women who find out that their husband was / is involved with pornography, and even though he is dealing with the problem-- she can't. And it strarts to wreak havoc on their relationship. And I'll spend a lot of time, trying to get her to put things into perspective, to understand that this is a nisayon that she can't relate to... And often, I find women saying, "Thank you" It was very helpful".... Bottom line, after saying the same words over and over, I decided to record them.

I was walking home from Shul. 3 attractive girls were crossing my path and as much as I tried at the time to switch off my lust it was difficult since these girls were quite bubbly and ever-present --hard to ignore! So I went for plan B and shifted into giving mode. I immediately thought of them as real people instead of thinking about what their attractiveness does for me. Three real PEOPLE were now about to cross my path and, with Hashem's help, the event was soon behind me.

This reminds me of a famous Zen story I heard recently that I keep coming back to. (I'll replace the monks and Gurus with Chassidim and Rebbes :)

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.