What Drives Compulsion?
Addictions & Emuna From the Inside Out
Two-part fascinating workshop/shiur Mon. June 25 and July 2

Join us to learn how a new relationship with stress, fear, highs, and lows supports unconditional calm and resilience.

One thing that drives compulsion is the desire for relief from chronic distress: it's a helpful escape. But what if a person wasn't frightened by distressing thoughts? If he saw them as weather passing thru - that required no escape, that pass on their own?

This is possible through an understanding of Emunah from the Inside Out.

Despite the perception that all kinds of people, circumstances, and events gladden, sadden, and pressure us, there is only and always one cause and one moment sourcing our experience: HKBH, right now.

Join this fascinating two-part series with Rabbi Henry Harris, Founder/Director of the Jewish Center for Wellbeing, respected counselor and speaker, and former Educational Director of Aish HaTorah NY.

Short video samples: https://www.jewishcenterforwellbeing.com/spark.html

When: 12-1:15pm EST, Mondays June 25 & July 2

Live Teleconference: 515-604-9988, code 100167#

Cost: Free

From Israel: 055-966-1090, 100167#

From England: 0330 998 1256, 100167#

QUESTION: How do I deal with the fact that I keep failing in things that I want to accomplish in Avodas Hashem? I try but it doesn't go. I feel like I just want to give up already.

ANSWER: In one of his Seforim, the Breslover Rebbe writes as follows: he says, “when I was younger, I tried to serve Hashem. I tried, and I fell down a hundred times. And each time, I got up, and tried again.”

This was his stubbornness. He got up, and he fell down. He was Nichshal*. He got up again. A hundred times. “I got up,” he says, “and in the end, I remained standing.”

It’s a Nisayon, and you have the wherewithal to overcome the Nisayon. You keep on trying, and in the end, you will surely succeed. “Habo Letaher Mesayin Lo” - there’s no such thing as not succeeding. If you really want to succeed, then you will remain standing. The first ninety-nine times are just a test to see if you are a weakling. Then you’re on the road to greatness.

*Editor’s note: needless to say, the Breslover was an absolute Tzadik. His ‘downfalls’ were commensurate with his extraordinary spiritual level.

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The definition of intolerable, i.e. "I gotta quit this!" - depends 100% and only on what is inside you own heart. Not on what the Torah says nor on what anyone else tells you. If you find it acceptable and really believe deep down inside that you can afford it - then you will keep doing it.

If you are coming here wishing you didn't feel that way, I honestly suggest doing the following. Spend 50 seconds - just 50 seconds (I timed it!) - before and after each davening and bentching to say something like the following to Hashem:

Hashem. Please help me see how using pornography and masturbating is damaging to me. Help me see how it sets me up for unhappy relationships with others including my wife and children, and with women and with all your people, in general. Help me see clearly how damaging it is to my very sanity and to my relationship with You, my Best Friend who will be the only one here with me after my life here and for eternity (except maybe for my wife...You know how that works, not me).

Please help me see clearly how my life will be better without my habit, and help me get over the terror I might feel when I imagine really giving it up and not having porn to turn to any more. Show me that You love me and will take really good care of me. Even more than that, please help me enjoy every step of recovery You give me.

Thanks for everything You have gotten me to this point even though I deserved none of it. And in that same spirit, please give me what I ask of You now.

Help me be Yours today.

This is not nuclear option, just another tool on the way. Like the Chofetz Chayim made up a personal tefilloh of this nature for Hashem's help to be saved from loshon hora during that day - one day at a time.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.