My head and my heart
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1858  
In Today's Issue
Announcements: Live Group Meetings
Announcements: Porn Anonymous Newsletter Subscription
Text: Shedding Light on the Gay Issue
Text: My heart and my head were tearing me apart!
90 Day Journey
Click below to update your 90 day chart
Still Clean Had a fall
Haven't begun the 90 day journey yet? Click here to join.
Live Group Meetings
Porn Anonymous Newsletter Subscription

As was recently advertised, PA was launched a couple of months ago as a new 12-Step fellowship to help porn addicts.

Since the launch of PA, over 10 live groups opened in Israel, and in the past few weeks, additional groups started in the US (in Monsey and Brooklyn).

In order to receive the PA newsletter and to stay informed about updates, announcements, and new recovery materials, please complete the short form in this link, or send a request by email:

Shedding Light on the Gay Issue
Part 4/9
By Sorotzkin, Dr. Benzion


Many who support the gay agenda do so in the name of compassion. The first question we need to ask is if it is compassionate to pretend a symptom is not reflective of an emotional disorder if it truly is? If someone has a medical condition that required urgent care but he is in denial, would it be compassionate to join his denial? Of course, gay activists claim that homosexuality isn’t reflective of an emotional disorder. That is a scientific question that should be explored via research and not political rhetoric. If it is indeed reflective of an emotional disorder then it certainly wouldn’t be compassionate to pretend otherwise. As mentioned above, there is evidence that emotional disorders are more common in the homosexual community.

Shaping the debate by attaching the label “homophobia” on anyone who believes that homosexuality is reflective of a disorder is another example of the political genius of radical gay activists who invented this term in order to delegitimize anyone who dares question any aspect of their agenda.

In addition, it is important to remember that the gay community is not asking for compassion or even acceptance. They are demanding that society accept their view of homosexuality as a normal variant of human sexuality. In the earliest years of the gay movement they only demanded protection from harassment and discrimination (i.e., compassion). They reacted with great indignation when anyone suggested that they will eventually demand gay marriage. Yet from articles written by gay activists for internal consumption it is clear that full equality - including gay marriage - was their ultimate goal from the beginning.

One component of compassion is being non-judgmental. It is unfortunate, though, that many people equate refraining from being judgmental with avoiding forming a judgment. So, if someone forms a judgment that homosexuality is undesirable - either for religious reasons, since the Torah explicitly prohibits homosexual behavior, and/or for mental health reasons, because there is evidence that homosexuality is associated with higher incidents of emotional disorders – the person is accused of being judgmental, or worse a “homophobe.” This is, of course, nonsense. In fact, it is a deliberate misuse of a scientific term for political gain. A phobia refers to a fear that is patently irrational. Whatever one thinks of the belief that the Torah forbids homosexual acts or that it is indicative of emotional distress, it certainly doesn’t qualify for irrational.

A gay acquaintance once insisted that I “must be” judgmental of him since I believe that homosexuality is not a normal variant of human sexuality. I responded that I could prove that he was judgmental of me. He protested vigorously, as being a self-proclaimed liberal, he sees being judgmental as a major sin. I reminded him that he was a vegetarian who believed that it was unethical to eat meat. So, by his own criteria, he must be judgmental of someone like myself who eats meat (he might even label me as “vegi-phobic”). I, on the other hand, believe that one can have a judgment without being personally judgmental of the other person.

It should go without saying that we should treat all human beings, regardless of their condition, with respect and compassion. That is not the issue. The question of how to relate to homosexuals as individuals should not be confused with the question of how to deal with homosexuality.

To be continued...
My heart and my head were tearing me apart!
By Anonymous

Many years ago I was in a crazy situation and felt ready to explode. The physical stress was the least of it; I was surrounded by negative waves from family, school, and a boyfriend. The boyfriend was the real problem. I was a modern orthodox Balas Teshuva, and always had more male friends than female. I just connected to guys better. Looking back, I am constantly in awe of the different ways Hashem saved me from both myself, and others. I was officially shomer negiah, but being a normal girl, had my share of desires. As I said, Hashem saved me from myself more times than I will ever know.

Anyway, this boyfriend was in school in a different town, so we saw each other only rarely. We wrote in between. In one message, he asked if I would be willing to 'go the bases' with him when he came home the next week.

I was so torn! My heart and my head were tearing me apart. I was 15 years old and I still remember the pain as if yesterday. I so badly wanted to say yes; yet I so badly wanted to say no! I thought I would lose my mind. I don’t think I have ever cried so hard in my whole life.

And for the first time ever, this modern orthodox girl turned to Hashem. The pain was so heavy and overwhelming, that I instinctively turned to the only source of hope. And I begged Him to help me decide and to take the pain away! (as if He would have suggested giving in, but that’s how sincere my dilemma was!)

And I made a deal with him (I’m telling you; this feels like yesterday): If taking me from this world would bring moshiach so others would never have to go through the pain of such decisions - to give in or not- then I would gladly die. This was not a deal created from depression. In fact as soon as I finished saying it, I became hysterical, POSITIVE THAT I WAS ABOUT TO DIE IN MY SLEEP and I would not get to say goodbye to those I loved!!!!!! That’s how sincere I was.

In fact, when I woke up the next day, that’s when I actually became depressed! I took it as a sign that Hashem had rejected my 'deal'.

But He hadn’t. Hashem took those tears and heartache and indecision and 'deals' and He placed them in His cup of pure Karbonos. AND I WAS NEVER THE SAME PERSON AGAIN.

Yes, the initial emotion wore off (BH!) and life took over. But from that moment, it was almost as if He was smoothing the road as I walked. Hashkafik questions suddenly cleared up, and the derech I needed for my personal journey was revealed in all its beauty. Slowly but surely, life took a turn for the better, and I gained a clarity I had only dreamed of. And I believe it all came from my karbon of "letting go, and letting Hashem take over".

This is the hashkafa here on GYE, and all addiction forums everywhere. I didn’t have the bracha of anyone to share with, so instead, Hashem led me directly to the only way to win: Let Go and Let G-d.

(As for that boy, once again Hashem stepped in and saved me. 'Somehow' we never seemed to get a moment alone after that .. And trust me, he tried!)

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit (Hebrew: / Yiddish:

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit

Please help us continue helping others!
Contribute Securely Online
(Anonymous recurring credit card donations possible)
To donate by phone, call (24 hours): 718-878-3075
Checks can be made out to: "GYE Corp." and mailed to: GYE Corp. P.O. Box 32380 Pikesville, MD 21282 U.S.A.
Quick Links