This is based on a shiur available for download from www.jerusalempulseradio.com by Rabbi Yaakov Labinsky (of Aish) entitled "Higher order of the Seder." This is but a distillation, and the reader is encouraged to listen to the original Shiur.

The avodah of the Pesach Seder is to go from avdus to cheirus. Avdus means a physical, body orientation to life. Cheirus means a spiritual orientation. (For us, our avdus is our addiction.) According to the Arizal, there is a special koach in the Pesach Seder (first night only) called "dilug." This means jumping over, or passing over levels (hence the word "Pesach", meaning to pass-over). Normally, teshuva must be done in a stepwise fashion. If a person rises too far too fast there is increased danger of return to old habits. On Pesach night, these rules are suspended and a person can pass over levels not possible the rest of the year. But you must be prepared.

During the weeks leading up to the Seder, clean out the chometz in your spiritual life as best you can. And physically clean those rooms where your aveiros are done (I suggest the computer room and bedroom). Don't look at women. If you need to (and can keep it), take a vow that you won't do _______ from Rosh Chodesh Nisan until at least after Pesach. You can do it!

Erev Pesach, when burning the chometz, visualize your yetzer hara for lust being burned.

This is your kavanah during the seder:

There are four lashonos of geula, three of which represent release from degrees of enslavement. (In our case, it is enslavement to the yetzer hora for lust.) The first cup of wine goes with the first lashon, "v'hotzaysi." With the kiddush and drinking of the first cup, know that you are being taken out of the most severe level of enslavement. Next is the cup for "v'hitzalti." Saying the hagaddah and drinking this cup will free you from the next, somewhat lighter level of enslavement. Eat the matza and be humbled. Eat the maror and think about how bitter it is to be enslaved to the yetzer hora for lust. With the third cup, over bircas hamazon, all remaining vestiges of the enslavement will be removed from you. You are now free, but in great danger, because nature abhor's a vacuum. So the fourth cup, representing "v'lakachti" is drunk soon after the third. The t'filos we say over the fourth cup have to do with the future. With v'lakachti, we ask Hashem to take us for His. We commit ourselves to be His slave, rather than the slave of what we were just released from. Drink to your new relationship with the Borai Olam!

I used this approach two years ago, and have never relapsed. I continue to daven for sobriety and shmira in this area, and continue to work on this and other areas of yiras shomayim. I am an eved Hashem. There's nothing like it.

Chag Kasher Vsamayach

Question:

I grew up without anyone teaching me about Kedusha issues, and I always thought that I was alone in my struggles and that I was a major loser. It wasn't until after my marriage that I found GYE and read the handbook (especially the "Attitude Principles") that I finally had the right attitude and support to deal with these struggles. I don't understand why our parents and teachers don't educate more about these things.

I took the initiative today and spoke to a 7th grade Rebbe about GYE's booklet called "The Kedusha Talk" and about speaking to Bar-Mitzva aged children about these issues. He gave me a classic answer. "How do I know this is real? Maybe this guy/site is just some nobody. And anyways, I don't want to influence the kids who don't know." Such classic answers. How do I convince him otherwise?

GYE Responds with a few pointers:

1) First of all, the booklet has the Haskama of Harav Feldman Shlit"a, who is on the Moetzes Gedolei Hatorah, and besides for personally vouching for Rabbi Avi Landa, he writes:

We would be negligent in the education of our children if we would permit them to grow into adolescents without preparing them first with adequate tools to help them live as Jews in the un‐Jewish environment they will be living in. The only way is to teach them, before their adolescent drives set in, how a Jew is obligated to deal with his reproductory drive. It is vital that we get our message across to the child before the messages of the culture around him begin to inundate him.

2) In this powerful 5 minute audio clip from Rabbi Moshe Weinberger, he makes a very strong case for educating our youth about these matters.

3) Click here for a 3 minute audio file from Rabbi Dovid Sapirman, a Mechanech of over 40 years, about the importance of speaking to our youth about these things.

4) Click here for a 4 minute audio file from R' YY Jacobson about how parents today are in "Lala land" and don't realize where their children are getting information from.

I think we can use these powerful clips to convince anyone who still has doubts...

P.S. A boy in France translated the whole booklet of "The Kedusha Talk" into French and starting giving it out to schools there. He also wrote to us "If I had only gotten this talk when I was younger, I wouldn't have fallen to where I did and needed GYE later".

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.