The Gift of Stretching
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1822  
In Today's Issue
Announcements: News and Needs
Image of the Day: Stretch your smile muscles
Personal Stories: Stories of growth and triumph
Sayings: Discipline
Links: How Porn Becomes an Addiction - Simplified!
Daily Dose of Dov: Breathing Air Is Not "Al Pi Torah"
90 Day Journey
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News and Needs
As of Sunday, Feb. 25, 2018, we have gotten $4,000 out of the $5,000 we need for matching and we need everyone's help before the end of the challenge.

GYE is greatly expanding its services behind the scenes. We hope to have a major announcement in the coming weeks about a whole new division for addicts that is being worked on now. Stay tuned.

An anonymous donor has made a generous offer to donate $5,000 to GYE if we succeed in matching that amount in donations until next Monday, Feb 26.


Tizke Lemitzvos!

Image of the Day

“The next time you’re faced with something that’s unexpected, unwanted and uncertain, consider that it just may be a gift.”

— Stacey Kramer

Stretch your smile muscles
Stretch your smile muscles
Personal Stories
Stories of growth and triumph
“There are two types of pain you will go through in life, the pain of discipline and the pain of regret. Discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” — Jim Rohn
How Porn Becomes an Addiction - Simplified!
Daily Dose of Dov
Breathing Air Is Not "Al Pi Torah"
Someone complained to Dov that he can't stop acting out, but he doesn't want to try the 12-Steps because he felt that admitting "powerlessness" is not the "Torah approach". After futile and frustrating discussions back and forth, Dov responded as follows:
By Dov

The 12 steps IS THE TORAH APPROACH. What you are doing IS NOT THE TORAH APPROACH because it is making you act out! No one looks at shmutz and is mz"l and just whines about it like a little girl for years "al pi Toirah". That is idiotic.

For the past 15-20 years you admit you have been practicing making up all kinds of silly excuses for why you cannot 'make it'. And you are doing al pi Toirah?

As far as I can see it, the steps are principles of Derech Eretz. Simple honesty - how can they be 'against' Torah? Nobody in the steps is trying to convince you of anything! If you believe you have the ability to stop, then you do not consider yourself powerless. Period. So you cannot do even the first step, because as yet, you do not need it! Period. So? What is wrong with that? You think I will say to you "you are fooling yourself and you really are an addict and cannot stop"? Chas veSholom!

Nobody really sober in AA/SA will try to convince you that you are sick! How can they? It's only and forever up to you, or it won't work. And there is no "mitzvah" to "believe" that you are powerless, even in AA/SA! If you consider that the truth, then fine, if not, fine!

So all the anti-step-arguing 'al pi Torah' is nonsense, as far as I am concerned. For a real addict, it has no more to do with Torah than does arguing about the air - if you want to breathe it, then fine. If not, have a nice (short) day. And for a non-addict, what is there to argue about in the first place?

So please stop calling yourself or anything you believe in about this problem "al pi Torah", OK? It's not. Not the steps and not whatever you are doing about it (which is just whining). Water and air is not "al pi Torah", and neither is recovery, for an addict. So save your breath.

And you said before that you do not even know what the steps are, so why don't you just be quite and read about them. Then I suggest you judge if your derech of lying to your wife and tricking everyone who 'knows you', watching your precious little shmutz in secret, unzipping your pants when you like, and being mz"l... is more "al pi Torah" than the steps are.

Then get back to me.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit (Hebrew: / Yiddish:

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit

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