Hey! Watch that attitude!
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1821  
In Today's Issue
Image of the Day: Your perspective dictates your attitude.
Editor’s Note: Emails to the editor:
Announcements: News and Needs
12 Step Attitude: Attitude of Gratitude
Testimonials: My Gratitude
Practical Tips: Annoyed? Try these 3 simple attitudes
90 Day Journey
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Image of the Day

How do you read these signs? 

"You don't matter, give up" OR "You Matter. Don't Give Up"?

Your perspective dictates your attitude.
Your perspective dictates your attitude.
Editor’s Note
Emails to the editor:

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but Dov needs to be bottled and sent out to everyone as shalach manos!  His Daily Dose is so satisfying and geshmak, even better than a mun hamentashen!  One of the most impressive things about it is that it makes SO clear that it is written by a REAL PERSON.  Real people are like glasses of water.  Sometimes, you are served a glass of water when you were hoping for a soda, so fine, I'll have the water.  And when you drink it, you have this revelatory moment where you realize that hey, this is fantastic and I didn't even know I was thirsty!  Your thirst is quenched, you immediately feel better, refreshed, no cloyingly sweet aftertaste ("Dov - It Goes Down Smooth with only a little burn, but it'll be good for you").  He is not preaching, just sharing with us what he feels is the emes and has worked for him.  As a non-addict, I appreciate his continuing clarification on what makes one an addict, as opposed to someone who has many of the same behaviors but is not an addict.  Can we get him a radio show?  Please pass along to him."

-Rob R.

On the question about 'powerless' being 'anti-Torah' (issue #1801):

"There is a well known line in the Gemara 'every day the yetzer harah renews itself and if Hashem didn’t help us, we couldn’t overcome it.' This means one is powerless  over the yetzer hara and we need Hashem to 'keep us sober.' 


"Thanks for your daily emails, I really enjoy them.

Regarding this powerless thing, what that person is really missing is that addiction is an illness, not a Nisoyen. (Sure, it is a Nisoyen to accept, just as having a physical illness) That's why when I tried using all types of Musser to combat the Yeitzer Hora it didn't work! Because it's not the Yeitzer Hora I'm fighting - I'm fighting myself, which bashes me up even more! 

I need to find something that heals my inner soul so I could recover from Sexaholism. I'll never be cured, I'll always have to take my medicine, but I believe I can recover!"

-Yakov A

From the Editor:

Thank you all. Please keep your emails coming. From time to time, we will publish them, but even when we don't share your email with the oilom, we always acknowledge and answer it. 

If you enjoy Dov's writing, you will love his recorded Q&A sessions. Click here to access a list of all recordings.

Best wishes for continued recovery,


GYE content editor.

"I've been a member of GYE for over a year and a half. Recently, I have gotten married to my wonderful wife. Since I got married, I have been clean. I have a therapist and a GYE partner who I keep up with. I've read a lot about other people's success stories, and the common thing they share is that after a while of not using, they find joy, emotions, passions, intrests, and love etc. I am currently over 7 months clean and still have depression (for which I take medicine), and I get into the escape mode a lot (I surf the news or just try to numb my exsistence). I'm feeling lost, what am I missing?"

-Lost in Depression

From the editor:

Dear Lost,

You may need to change medication and/or therapists if they are not helping your depression. But what you describe here is not altogether unusual. Not everyone finds joy, passions, interests, and love after stopping acting out. As a matter of fact, the acting-out is often not the problem, but rather the "solution" we had been using for dealing with the life's problems. So when we stop, our issues may become even more marked and acute. 

Depression can also be a symptom of feeling a lack of fulfillment in your life, or a lack of spirituality. Is there anything you can do to improve these areas?

You may find Dov's recordings (above) very enlightening.

Stay sober, my friend,


News and Needs
As of Sunday, Feb. 25, 2018, we have gotten $4,000 out of the $5,000 we need for matching and we need everyone's help before the end of the challenge.

GYE is greatly expanding its services behind the scenes. We hope to have a major announcement in the coming weeks about a whole new division for addicts that is being worked on now. Stay tuned.

An anonymous donor has made a generous offer to donate $5,000 to GYE if we succeed in matching that amount in donations until next Monday, Feb 26.


Tizke Lemitzvos!

12 Step Attitude

This short piece is written by a recovering alcoholic but the attitude cuts accross the 12-step spectrum.

Attitude of Gratitude
By Anonymous

My sponsor told me that I should be a grateful alcoholic and always have “an attitude of gratitude”—that gratitude was the basic ingredient of humility, that humility was the basic ingredient of anonymity and that “anonymity was the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.”
As a result of this guidance, I start every morning on my knees, thanking God for three things:
I’m alive, I’m sober, and I’m a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Then I try to live an “attitude of gratitude” and thoroughly enjoy another twenty-four hours of the A.A. way of life. A.A. is not something I joined; it’s something I live.

My Gratitude
By GYE Member

I don't usually write but today I must because I feel a huge surge of gratitude for the weekly chizuk you send through the Breaking Free emails. Especially, the article by Dov "R' SHIMON BAR YOCHAI DIDN'T BRING ALONG A SANDWICH" because it is the first time I finally understood what it means when we say "letting go" and "giving it over to Hashem".

Practical Tips
Annoyed? Try these 3 simple attitudes

By Leo Babauta

It’s a common thing to be frequently annoyed by other people — added to our regular interactions with family, friends and coworkers are the online habits of people on various social media, and they can all irritate the hell out of us.

Read more
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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