Joy commensurate to suffering
  Breaking Fre Chizuk #1809  
In Today's Issue
Sayings: Desire
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Torah: Rebbe Nachman of Breslov taught...
Daily Dose of Dov: Joy commensurate to suffering
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“Desire is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want.” — Naval Ravikant
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Rebbe Nachman of Breslov taught...
By Rebbe Nachman

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov taught...

From Reb Nosson's Letters: "Even while the gates are closed and locked on every side and in every corner—so that one ought mistakenly have thought that there was no hope, G-d forbid—I still believe that there remains plenty of hope! For G-d's capacity to send relief and deliverance is very great, indeed, and His power of salvation is inexhaustible!"
(Healing Leaves, p. 51)

What does this mean to me?

Rebbe Nachman taught a very short lesson, recorded toward the end of the first section of his Likutei Moharan, in which he sets down an essential life-principle. In modern idiom it translates to, "G-d doesn't close a door without opening a window." Of course, he borrows language from a better source—King David himself, who certainly knew about what it meant to live a hard life. The Psalmist sang, "While in trouble, You broadened the way for me." In Hebrew, one word for trouble is tzaar, which actually means "narrow." In other words, "While in the narrows, You made broad openings for me."

Within every situation of constriction and confinement, there are nevertheless broad stretches and openings. He ends the lesson by stating trustingly and hopefully, "Aside from our anticipation of G-d delivering us soon from all troubles and doing much good for us…even within the trouble, He offers us respite!"

A prayer:

Master of the universe, full of mercy,
help me and open my eyes, my heart and my mind
so that I will always see the kindness and release that You provide for me
even in the midst of the straits of my troubles.
This alone can offer me solace from the many pressures that I face,
both physical and spiritual,
which box me in both right and left and make me feel as though I have no escape…
If I could only feel and see all that You do for me even here and now
I would rejoice and my heart would be filled with prayer and gratitude.
I would not cease from thanking You for all that is done
and crying out to You for all that is yet to be accomplished.
(Likutei Tefillos, I:333)

Daily Dose of Dov
Joy commensurate to suffering
Dov speaks about reaching the milestone of being clean for as long as he was stuck in the addiction
By Dov

שמחנו כימות עניתנו

Every Shabbos morning in shul, I am makpid to fit in 'tefila l'Moshe' (together with yoshev b'seiser) even if I am late for p'sukei d'zimra. This is because I think of the years my father suffered in slave labor camps during the Holocaust and I know that he's up there now and I ask G-d each Shabbos to please "give (him) joy in measure of the years of suffering we were given," when I say "samcheinu kimos inosonu, sh'nos ra'inu ro'oh." Funny request Moshe makes there, no? What if we only suffered evil for 2-3 years - so we're asking for 2-3 years of Gan Eden or Olam Haboh, in return??

But it occurred to me that years of 'suffering and seeing evil' are made up of little tiny 'eternities,' for us humans. We all know that, and so does Hashem. Our feelings are always feelings of the moment, so suffering like what my father went through is horrible: each day surely felt like an eternity - hopelessness feels like it's forever, in the human heart.

I also suffered my personal isolated hell. Most of it was, of course, self-inflicted but I never saw it that way at the time. I never saw another option and eventually came to believe that I'd have to live to the end (and be buried) laden with my dirty secrets. G-d has given me about 21 years of sober days so far, so I've been sober for about as many years as I obviously had to act out - but, as I've said before, I do not believe that Hashem measures pain in units of days or years, but in moments: the reality of the heart. And so, I hope that the moments He gives me continue through a long, old and useful age, sharing recovery with other people. That's how I pray: expressing honest hopes, rather than asking for anything (see Step 11).

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit (Hebrew: / Yiddish:

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit

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