Boruch Hashem, I have passed the year-mark of staying clean, of growing, learning, accepting, listening, and getting to know some wonderful people. In a certain way, the last item on the list - getting to know some wonderful people - was and is probably the most important, and the most life-altering. Because that is why there is "cleanliness," growth, knowledge, acceptance, and some level of understanding.

'Hanging on' just for today while doing nothing to learn tools to get free of lust is nothing but a bastardization and poor usage of the old adage, 'One Day at a Time". Spare me of that fate, please. I want to surrender lust one day at a time, not hold my breath and pretend I am overcoming it.

There is a beautiful line in the White Book in a short intro piece titled, "The Problem", and it goes like this: "the only way we knew to be free of it was to do it." I have always found it very profound and also helpful when I have a desire.

When I get a stupid idea like "Yep, following her or getting a better look at that would really help me out" and it doesn't just go-away after I say no (which proves to me that my body really believes that it is good for me, in fact, that my body innocently and honestly believes that I need it; exactly like I am convinced - by my stomach - that I need food when I am starving), I ask Hashem to help me remember that there will always be yet another stupid lust image/fantasy/pretty lust object out there later, so 'getting over' my current desire by 'doing it' will not do me any good, at all - the exact same feeling that 'I must have this' will return. Nothing will have changed at all.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.