E-Mail Subject: Inappropriate Thoughts?!
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1803  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Practical Tips: Please Watch Over Us
Announcements: SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY RABBI DONIEL KATZ
Chizuk: Go For the Gold!
Q & A: Inappropriate thoughts?
Daily Dose of Dov: Don't Get Stronger, Get More Help!
 
 
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Practical Tips
 
Please Watch Over Us
 
By GYE Member

When we were approaching חודש שבט I heard from Reb Shlomo Meyer a vort that was tremendous chizuk for me all these years.

שבט ר״ת שמרם ברכם טהרם.

This month, which is entirely during the weeks of שובבים is here to remind us what our goal in life is. We ask Hashem, please שמרם - watch over us that we shouldn't chas veshalom have any נסיונות, and when a נסיון does come, not to give up just keep davening ברכם - bench us with the strength to overcome the נסיון and if chas vishalom we fail the test, we still don't give up, we ask Hashem please טהרם - purify us, because it's NEVER TO LATE.

Announcements
 
SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY RABBI DONIEL KATZ
 

A VERY RARE AND SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY A WORLD RENOWNED GUEST SPEAKER

RABBI DONIEL KATZ

“Serenity - We have a Prayer for it…

How do we get it and how do we keep it?"

on this Wednesday January 17 at NOON (EST) GYE

Conference Call with Duvid Chaim.

Call (641) 715-3836 Access code 637207#

For both Men and Women

Why is Serenity so elusive??

I may find Serenity and enjoy it for a short time, but why won’t it stay with me?”

“WHAT IS THE CONNECTION BETWEEN SERENITY AND SOBRIETY??"

MEET RAV DONIEL KATZ

Rabbi, Visionary, Master Educator, Fellow Seeker

For more than a decade, Rav Doniel’s open and compassionate teachings have been a catalyst for change in the lives of thousands of people worldwide. Born and raised in Australia, Rav Doniel abandoned his award-winning film and theatre career in his mid-twenties after a year of intensive spiritual awakening.

Rav Doniel has lectured extensively around the world for the last 10 years, during which time he was also a faculty member at Neve Yerushalayim and Aish HaTorah in Jerusalem. In addition, he spoke at a 2015 symposium on science and the meditational tools of Abrahamic traditions at the Mind & Life Institute in Massachusetts; was invited by the Chief Rabbi of South Africa to speak at the Sinai Indaba conference in Johannesburg and Cape Town, during which over 5000 people attended his Elevation Project sessions; and presented at the 2016 Wisdom 2.0 conference in Tel Aviv.

The Elevation Project brings together Jews and seekers from all walks of life with a single goal: to explore the Torah’s definitive map of human psychology and consciousness on an experiential level. We’ve synthesized and systemized the most transformative teachings of Kabbalah, Chassidus, Mussar and Talmud into an easy-to-follow, step-by-step learning experience that combines to create a profound path of accelerated spiritual development.

YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS THIS LIFE CHANGING MESSAGE

FROM A MAN WHO HAS GUIDED OTHERS TO REAL SERENITY

Please mark your calendars now - you won't want to miss this Event!

Chizuk
 
Go For the Gold!
 
Part 2/2
 
By Yaakov from GYE

C. Twerski commented on the thoughts in the previous article here.

I just wanted to comment on this. This concept is brought down by the Meor Enaim in the name of the Baal Shem Tov many times. For example, the Pasuk says: איש כי יקח את אחותו חסד הוא, i.e. that even the greatest sin is really a perversion of the highest midah of chesed. When Hashem sends a test to a person, it's a sign to the person to uplift this mida to kedusha.

However, personally I have heard from the Rachmastrivke Rebbe in Yerushalayim that this is a madreiga for tzadikim but not regular people. I heard as well from Rav Yitzchok Moshe Erlanger that it's a good concept to know, but when the desire or machshava comes to a person he should not try to uplift it, as that's very possibly above his level and he will probably stumble, instead he should just run away as fast as possible. They both seem to be saying that for the average person, while it can be a chizuk to know where the lust comes from theoretically and what the ideal result should be (so that they don't feel bad about themselves), in actuality however, they shouldn't try to uplift this.

Yaakov Responds:

Thanks for sharing that. There's no question one should turn away instantly, the only question is, what should his thoughts be at that moment? If the thoughts are of lust, he should distract himself completely. But if he found that he was being nispa'el (in awe) just from the beauty, it can perhaps be helpful to think where the source of all beauty really comes from and Whom it is really worth loving.

The Bal Shem spoke of not "removing Hashem's malbushim", kaviyachol. This is truly a high level that is not for regular people. But I was trying to fit his words into a more realistic approach that can be helpful not only to uplift it to kedusha, but also in a psychological sense. Instead of FIGHTING the very real feelings that the person feels at the time, he can validate the feelings and simply redirect them to a Higher level of self-interest by telling himself, "there's much better in store for me, if I only don't go after the reflection and go instead after the real thing".

Q & A
 
 
Inappropriate thoughts?
 
Daily Dose of Dov
 
Don't Get Stronger, Get More Help!
 
By Dov

Just a suggestion, to a sweet yid who is obviously moving in the right direction but still hurting a bunch (like most of us here on this heiligeh network):

Maybe instead of throwing down anything like a 'gauntlet' to lust, consider getting more help than before, with the understanding that you will not get stronger.

I am not at all stronger than I was a year ago! But be"H I am safer than ever now, because I have more help now than I have ever had. And it has been years since I had to think things like, "was that considered a 'slip'?" How's that? Because I make more calls when I feel off-balance now, not fewer calls; I take far fewer risks just to satisfy the false god in me called 'Desperate Curiosity'; my filter works better - because I never test it; I have less shame about the truth about myself and my screwiness so I have fewer secrets; I have fewer stupid motivations inside me, so I have fewer resentments and fears. I am 'lighter' today, thank-G-d. I continue to "lose extra weight" as a result of working this recovery.

It takes time, and it never ends till we are dead....kind of like Life - because that's what it is!

I am not telling anyone 'the way it is' - just sharing how it works with me. I do not get stronger and have no interest whatsoever in 'getting stronger'. If you offered me the ability to withstand all the tayva in the world, I'd turn away in a second. I want a safety with G-d, not 'power'. Otherwise, it begs the question, "Is my struggle a big cosmic accident?" He is not like a Superhero - running to 'save me' when I am in trouble - ridiculous! Rather, all my problems are only refuahs that look like makkahs - ways given to me to grow closer to Him, and only that.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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