A Sign from Above
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1762  
In Today's Issue
Text: Handling Porn Addiction: 3 Easy Steps for Kids and Teens
Member's Chizuk: A Sign from Above
Daily Dose of Dov: It Takes One To Teach One
Text: Letter from the Lubavitcher Rebbe about SSA
Q & A: Sexual Purity for Women
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Handling Porn Addiction: 3 Easy Steps for Kids and Teens

Breathing, Counting, and a Memory… This very simple brain exercise has changed my life. I struggled with porn addiction for a very long time, and I use many tools to prevent going back to that life but this is something that never fails me.

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Member's Chizuk
A Sign from Above
Daily Dose of Dov
It Takes One To Teach One
By Dov

AA, in "A vision for you" somewhere near the end teaches that "obviously you can't transmit something you haven't got" (italics mine). To me, that means that if someone is not an addict at all, the words he will try to inspire an addict with - be they Torah-truth, or not - will have no real effect. They may inspire, but somehow, they will not bring about any change.

AAs discovered that addicts - the least qualified of humanity - can help addicts.

To me, that is why rabbonnim generally help for guidance only - it is the addict that an addict needs to actually get better.

And that's why, to me, the words of Rav Dessler (somewhere in chelek alef of Michtav M'Eliyahu) ring so true here, where he writes that mussar will only have an true effect on the students if the teacher has actually been koneh the madreiga he is teaching about, himself. He writes that he teaches nothing that he has not actually done himself.

Letter from the Lubavitcher Rebbe about SSA

See the original letter here.

Q & A
Sexual Purity for Women
What About Women and Sexual Purity?
By the.guard

Excerpts from an article on www.jewishsexuality.com.

While a woman does not have the same physical stamp of the brit (circumcision) as a Jewish man, she must also carefully strive to live a life of sexual purity in accordance with the guidelines of our Sages. Just as with a man, she has an anatomical counterpart to the spiritual sefirah of the "yesod." If she blemishes this through sexual transgression, she damages the spiritual channel that brings blessing to her and to the Jewish Nation as a whole.

First and foremost, Jewish women are called upon to safeguard the Laws of Family Purity, known as "Taharat HaMishpacha." Negligence in keeping these laws has serious spiritual and physical consequences which need to be rectified. Needless to say, pre-marital sex is a no-no which blemishes the "yesod" and requires rectification. Relations with a non-Jew is strictly forbidden. A woman must also take care to act and dress in a modest fashion, in accordance with Jewish Law, and not do things that can cause a man to have an emission of semen in vain, which is a very serious transgression.

Women who act in an overly seductive fashion are transgressing the Torah prohibition not to put a stumbling block in front of a blind man.

The Torah calls upon women, as well as men, to "Be holy!" This means not only to separate from forbidden sexual practices, but also to sanctify one's behavior in things that are permitted. Marital relations should be conducted in a joyous, loving fashion, and care should be taken to follow the injunctions of our Sages, which stress modesty during relations.

While women do not have the same seminal seed as a man, masturbation involves lack of sanctity and purity of thought, and should be avoided.

A woman is also called upon to guard her eyes from seeing forbidding things, like pornography on the Internet. Since the mouth is spiritually connected with the "yesod," a woman must also be careful to speak in a proper fashion and not to blemish the spiritual channel of the "yesod" by speaking lashon hara.

Because sexual purity is the foundation of the Jewish Nation, a woman should endeavor to study and periodically to review the many laws and fences enacted by the Rabbis regarding these vital matters, and not rely on the learning she did before her wedding. Sexual wrongdoing and mistakes must be rectified though t'shuva.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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