Myth: It Takes Two to Ruin a Relationship
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1758  
In Today's Issue
Image of the Day: One day out of many
Personal Stories: Don't be a K'fui Tova!
Editor’s Note: GYE Handbooks
Text: The Myth of "It Takes Two to Ruin a Relationship"
Text: Understanding
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Image of the Day
One day out of many
One day out of many
Personal Stories
Don't be a K'fui Tova!
By GYE Member

I lost a testicle to Seminoma. I had been trying to crack the bad habit of hz"l, but not hard enough.

So Hashem did me a favor and sent me a clear message.

Baruch Hashem, I got the point and be'ezrat Hashem I will live my life out b'kedusha.

It is definitely better to pay in this world than in the next, and now I got to do teshuvah as well.

To all out there. Appreciate your health and don't be a k'fui tova.

Hashem gave you all your organs. Don't use them for anything other than mitzvot!

Editor’s Note
GYE Handbooks

There had been some GYE Handbooks returned - so, if anyone who requested did not get their copy, they can RESUBMIT their request so we can get it out to them ASAP!

The Myth of "It Takes Two to Ruin a Relationship"

I contend it only takes one…

Read more
By Alexandra Katehakis, Staff Clinical Director, MFT, CSAT, CST

Being misunderstood creates the frustration, shame, or anger that we have all felt at one time or another. Communicating our passions, whether intellectual or emotional, feels almost impossible when we're misperceived, especially when the relationship stakes are high. Arguments ensue when others make incorrect inferences about our intended message or operate on assumptions before we've even completed our thought. And as a listener, we can perpetuate the same pain by interrupting or by ignoring the other's perspective. Whether we're presenting our view or listening to the position of another, exercising our understanding lets us sympathetically grasp and tolerate other people's feelings.

Misunderstandings can occur in a relationship when we take our partner for granted and don't extend the same graciousness and forgiveness to him or her that we freely give others. We thoughtlessly trample on a partner's opinions when we presume to know what she or he is going to say before it's said. This dismissive attitude diminishes a person's sense of worth, makes him or her lose respect for us and, inevitably, destroys sexual attraction. When we make the effort instead to comprehend our partner's perception, we transmit the clear message that he or she matters deeply to us.

To be really interested in your lover means to pay close attention to what she or he says and does. By staying curious and asking questions about his or her points and positions, you gain a deeper understanding of who your partner is and, therefore, of your relationship. This practice of understanding, rather than reacting, when relations are difficult creates a vital energy between you and kindles an implicit knowledge of each other. Soul-to-soul, body-to-body understanding transcends words and may be the stuff that chemistry is made of--and it's the kind of chemical bonding you can practice.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit (Hebrew: / Yiddish:

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit

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