Are you asking yourself any of the following questions:

I'm sick and tired of feeling TRAPPED IN LUST. I've stopped before - had some sobriety - but always seem to fall back into it again and again. What can I do to finally STOP?!

or

I've been working on my LUST - I've been on the Guard Your Eyes Forum - I've seen a therapist - I've gone to SA Meetings - I've been on the GYE Conference Calls. Why isn't this ENOUGH?!

or

I've already worked the 12 Step Program. I think I know what it's supposed to do for me. But it doesn't work! This is so frustrating. This Program will never work for me! Is there any hope for me?!

ANNOUNCING:

PLEASE JOIN US FOR

THE LAUNCH of - THE "LIFE CHANGING" VOYAGE OF THE GYE19 - CRUISE TO FREEDOM.

Monday Oct 23, 2017

• 8:30am with Cap'n Martin B BACK at the HELM
• with his trusted Lieutenants
• 12 Noon with Duvid Chaim and Co-Captains Yakkov New
• Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays!
• (all times are EST)

The Conference Call In Number is (641) 715-3836

Participant Access Code 637207#

For a whole bunch of useful details about the Conference Calls, please see this link:

https://guardyoureyes.com/component/zoo/item/big-book-study-group

We are going to strive to make this Cruise - Bigger and Better than ever -

with more Veterans,

more Chavrusahs,

more Sponsors and

more Guest Speakers.

We will be enriching our Recovery Program with the latest and most effective

Exercises and Life Changing Processes available.

Please JOIN us and bring your AA "Big Book"

your Private Journal to take notes

Please send an email to duvidchaim@gmail.com

to let us know you are planning to be ON BOARD.

DON'T DESPAIR!!!

"This may be the most important decision of your life!"

Taken from the website www.ilovetorah.com

Every tzaddik is faced with the most difficult tests. Chazal say that the higher ones level the greater their evil inclination. There is no tzaddik that exists that wasn't tempted and didn't face sin head to head. We think that because they are righteous they were never normal human beings just like us facing the simple temptations we do. Yosef HaTzaddik covered his face and ran away from Potifar's wife. Rabbi Abraham Abulafia was brave enough in his sefer, Chayay Olam Habah, to admit that he defiled his body from the wasteful admission of seed. He says that for fifteen years, the Satan was at my right hand to mislead me." Also he said that the numerical value of Satan, 359, is the same as that of Zera Lavan, white seed, which is in reference to semen. This goes to show you one of the main goals of the Satan, and that is sexual desire.

Rebbe Nachman says that sexual desire is the great test a man faces in this world. (Rabbi Nachman's Wisdom 115) The Rebbe said that he was able to overcome this desire but he had to cry out to Hashem again and again. The temptations were very real for him but he later said, "A man with even the smallest amount of real intelligence, will not find this a temptation at all." The Satan wanted so much for him to slip on this desire that he was willing to let the Rebbe overcome every other desire if only he would slip up on this once. The Rebbe did the opposite though, and said he would ignore his other desires and not work to control them at all, but the sexual desire he would completely eradicate (Shevachay Haran 16). As a young man, even amidst the fire burning inside him, he overcame this desire completely. He later said, "I do not have any feeling of desire at all. Men and women are all the same to me." When he came in contact with a woman, he didn't even have an extraneous thought. (ibid)

Is listening in and even participating in 12-step groups called 'working the steps'? I think not. A good mussar schmooze, maybe. A chizzuk, maybe.

If you water a field full of weeds very well... you'll get a ton of weeds! There needs to be a thorough and repetitive weeding process if you want the 'water' to help good stuff grow. And you need to plant the right kind of seeds, too.

Meetings and reading help plant the right seeds, maybe they do a bit of weeding, too. But the main cleaning process is done by working the steps. And that can't be done by just going to a meeting, on the phone, in person, or whatever.

Until an addict actually writes his step-work and shares it with other addicts who are ahead of him in the steps (and sober) and starts to use them in his real life, he is like a person who wants desperately to learn how to drive. He reads the books about driving and watches a movie about driving. Then, he gets into a car and figures he'll drive to his aunt in NY... He will probably die... and he certainly won't get to NY.

The steps are the same. Working them cannot be done in the sincere imagination. Additionally, we can't take a break from real life 'to work them', either. They are only worked inside our real life with all its problems, worries, pains, and joys.

If you are an addict and anything like me, you probably do not need yet another really great mussar schmooze. You probably need some small changes, over time. Some patient, humble, real live work.

By all means do the phone groups, join the meetings. But I say, don't expect any change until you start to actually work the steps and stick with it for a while... and stay sober. Sobriety makes the steps actually work.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.