First and foremost I thank this very special group, the finest of the finest, called GYE. For many decades I could not rid myself of using porn and acting out until I found this site. Today, thanks to Hashem, I am three years clean.

I often have to travel by plane for my different endeavors. This week, as usual, I was surrounded by screens blaring their movies, and next to me sat a woman who wore no sleeves. I have to live life with a sense of duty; to sanctify the name of Hashem is part of my duty. Even if it is only between me and Him. I read once that Bilam the evil didn't advise Balak to hire prostitutes and have them make Am Yisrael sin with them - that would not have worked. His plan was to catch the prey without it even noticing. First, an innocent and inoffensive old woman sells material at a very low cost. The Jew is attracted to buy and he's already fallen into the trap, now it's a matter of time. The old lady invites him to come inside and choose for himself. "Wow, great service here," thinks the Jew, but inside he finds a young woman offering a bit of "L'chayim," some good wine to celebrate the business deal. When the alcohol starts to work, then he is vulnerable to her advances. So I decided that I wouldn't look at other screens even if at that moment the view is "kosher," because it can change in a matter of seconds. I concentrated on watching my eyes, and Baruch Hashem I was able to handle the Nisayon. So my tools are:

a) to feel the importance of my duty and to remember it, by being mindful and reading about it. Through GYE I became acquainted with this pamphlet called V'haer Einenu. It's divided to be read in thirty days.

b) knowing some of the tactics of my enemy.

We cannot achieve any level of Kedusha, Torah, or fear of Hashem as long as we are not watching our eyes. Lots of Hatzlacha to all the members of GYE in their holy struggle against evil. Never give up!

Meetings, steps, making calls, and posting (for those still more terrified about saying the truth about themselves to another real person than almost anything else...) - all these things can bring us to inner rest/serenity - to admit the truth about ourselves and live accordingly - sanely. But it depends on how we use them.

Maybe none of this is for you at all. I do not know. But what worked for me was going to real meetings with real people because I knew I could not continue using my drug. If you (or anybody is) are not willing to go to any lengths to be truly rid of this garbage, then to me that means only one thing. You are not really ready to be rid of this garbage.

If you agree with me, that I suggest strongly that you stop telling yourself and anyone else that you are ready to let go of it. It is still too precious and sweet to you.

And I cannot blame you in the least, for it was too precious and sweet for me to give it up for 15 years even at the expense of my wife, children, Hashem, His Torah, my Olam haba, my integrity, and lots of other things. I cannot and will not blame you at all if you never give it up and keep using your drug even till you destroy everything in your life. I will not look down on you in any way, and will not even be surprised. In fact, I am surprised that I am sober today, for I do not deserve it, that's for sure.

Posting, sharing, and meetings are only tools. Tools that help me get honest with myself. In the end, that is all that matters. Self-honesty will bring me to G-d - or it won't - but in the end, I will be at rest knowing my own truth.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.