The Real Balm
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1734  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Announcements: Volunteers needed
Video of the Day: Emuna Presentation Part 2 Q&A
Announcements: Big Book Review
Daily Dose of Dov: The Real Balm
 
 
90 Day Journey
 
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Still Clean Had a fall
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Announcements
 
Volunteers needed
 

Looking for volunteers to help with our annual High Holiday campaign who want to give something back to GYE (besides financial support). If you want to help, please be in touch with Yaakov at eyes.guard@gmail.com.

Tizke Lemitzvos and have a Ksiva Vachasima Tova!

Video of the Day
 

Continued from issue #1732

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Emuna Presentation Part 2 Q&A

A lack of Emunah can exacerbate addiction. When a person is missing meaning in life they tend to fill it with anything that feels like it gives them a reason to live, often resulting in unhealthy behaviors. A strong Emunah can motivate and empower us to fight addictive tendencies.

Watch these great talks on basic Emunah, a project of the Ani Maamin foundation.

The talks were given by  R' Avi Landa, a Mashgiach and psychotherapist in Baltimore.

Announcements
 
Big Book Review
 

CONGRATULATIONS to the Brave Chevra as we conclude and celebrate the 18th Cycle of the BIG BOOK STUDY - "CRUISE TO FREEDOM!"

It doesn't matter if you were on board the entire cycle, if you hopped on a few times or not.

Join us ALL WEEK LONG as we will be doing a

COMPLETE BIG BOOK REVIEW!!

WON'T WANT TO MISS THE NOON CONFERENCE CALLS THIS WEEK - SEPTEMBER 11 THRU THE 14.

AND WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU?!

We are dedicating the Calls to a Chazara of the entire Big Book.

Are you having ups and downs in your Sobriety?

Want to really lock in the Program? Want to learn the maintenance steps? Want to just get some insight into the Program? Maybe you're considering joining the NEXT CYCLE BEGINNING OCTOBER 23.

Everyone should bring their Big Book to the Call. And I will show you the most important pages and paragraphs for you to mark.

Why?

So anytime, you're feeling vulnerable, tied up in RID or on the verge of acting act, you can turn to the Big Book and read these particular passages for Chizuck and realignment with the Program of Freedom.

This has been an incredible Journey not only for the GYE18 Newcomers but also all the Veterans. Come be a part of our "Landing" back on the Shore of Freedom.

The Conference Call In Number is (641) 715-3836

Participant Access Code 637207#

Looking FORWARD

Duvid Chaim

PS - Stay tuned for more exciting announcements as we "look forward" to the GYE19 Flotilla - more ships, more veterans, more focused and more light than ever before!!

PSS - BE ON THE CALLS ALL WEEK LONG AND BRING YOUR BIG BOOK!!

PSSS - DURING BAIN HAZANIM DURING THE 6 WEEKS OF THE CHAGIM, THE NOON CALL LINE WILL BE OPEN FOR CALL INS.

Daily Dose of Dov
 
The Real Balm
 
By Dov

A teenage boy wrote on the forum:

"I am proud to say that with the help of Hashem I am TWENTY DAYS CLEAN!!! But let me tell you, I am definitely feeling the heat. My body is saying to me, "GO VIEW PORN. IT FEELS GOOD. ESCAPE WITH ME INTO THE LAND OF FAKE PLEASURE AND UNINHIBITED FREEDOM". Of course I know that this pleasure is only temporary and afterward I will feel absolutely miserable and only so much more far away from "real life". My problem is that never in my life have I ever stood up to my real problems and issues. I have always covered them over with this balm of lust. I read through both handbooks yesterday and I need to implement more tools. Also, I am still having a problem of getting my brain to understand that this is not a fight. How do I explain to my logical mind that I am powerless and that I must let G-d deal with my problem and just do my thing?"


Dov replies:

Please remember to take it easy. Years and years of relative nuttiness can't change a lot overnight, and certainly not by our (sorry) puny efforts. But we do change and grow more than we'd ever have imagined, over time.

Hashem will really help you (a lot), especially if you ask Him to (a lot).

Reading through the handbooks is great, but look out. It's filled with so many tools... perhaps picking one to try today is a good strategy. Tomorrow you can use it some more or take thought then to picking and trying out a different one. Too much planning just makes most folks crazy. Remember: If the way you and I naturally go about dealing with problems is so effective, how did we end up in this mess to begin with!? We really need an open mind here... so I'm just posting some suggestions.

The other thing I'd like to share with you is that there is something way more important than cleaning up all our garbage and letting go of all the lust balm we used to cover it all up with. And that is learning what our alternative is. And it's not a matter of hashkofa at all - it's purely and only experience. We need to start building the "alternative balm", which is the "RealBalm": a relationship with Hashem that really works.

It is built slowly, and on His schedule. Addicts like me start out by bringing Him right into our temptations and giving up our temptations and lust to Him to take care of, for us. It is further built by calling on safe friends to open up to, as you are in these posts (though a phone call or text is better cuz of the real-time aspect). And by using the tools and thanking Him for your successes rather than taking the credit. If I take the credit, I retake the struggle along with it! That's just the way it works, it seems. Our relationship with Hashem is built further when we are patient with ourselves and forgiving to others.

All these things build up the Alternative.

Water it and tend it - till one day, after a few months or maybe even a year or so (everyone is different), we get a temptation and discover that we are truly motivated to quickly get help - because we cherish our relationship with our very own G-d, and our own integrity! They become so precious to us that we rush to protect them at all costs!

Now, that's a nice place to be.

But you must take it easy to get there. As my mother used to tell me: "Crakow wasn't built in a day, they say.";-)

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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