Did we get the marital intimacy all wrong?
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1720  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Announcements: Do you need some inspiration?
Links: Intimacy
Announcements: A site for teens by teens
Q & A: Awareness of Same Sex Attraction
Q & A: Is Sex Really That Bad?
 
 
90 Day Journey
 
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Announcements
 
Do you need some inspiration?
 

Do you want to learn how to SUSTAIN your Sobriety:

Then please join Duvid Chaim's GYE Noon Conference Call this Thursday!

Chevra:

I just got an email from Emmanuel, a Veteran of the GYE Noon Conference Call. And just like you and me, as newcomers (and many old timers), Emmanuel struggled with his addiction.

He turned to GYE and joined SA Meetings and he got sober. But "getting sober" is not our goal.

STAYING SOBER IS OUR GOAL!!

And Emmanuel has been staying sober! Here is what Emmanuel wrote in his email:

"I am pleased to share with my dear brothers that by the grace of G-d, this fellowship, my sponsor, supportive wife, my health, my friends who accept me with my pluses and minuses today I am sober 4 years! One Day At a Time. ( the acronym for this is TOAD -letters rearranged- I feel like a toad who's been lifted out of the swamp and placed onto a completely new territory. Unfamiliar yet exhilarating.) It works if you work it.

Love you all. Emmanuel"

SO PLEASE JOIN THE NOON CALL THIS THURSDAY. Emmanuel is going to tell all of us HOW HE HAS STAYED SOBER. You won't want to miss this call - hearing a real man "share his Experience, Strength, and Hope!"

Here is the Call in Information:
US - (641) 715-3836
IS - (076) 599-0060
The Participants use access number 637207#

Links
 

A 10-minute talk by Rabbi YY Jacobson

Intimacy
Announcements
 
A site for teens by teens
 

FrumHangOut.com (FHO)

A project of GYE for teens run by teens

FHO is a safe place for teens to express themselves, get chizuk, and answers. There's a place for articles, to ask big rabbi's questions, and a message board/forum - a place where teens can write things and interact with other teens! You can learn more about that here: http://frumhangout.com/index.php/forum/announcement/list

We have some big Rabbis working on the site, to learn more about that you can go here: http://frumhangout.com/index.php/faq-frequently-asked-questions.

If you want to help you can go here: http://frumhangout.com/index.php/volunteer.

There's lots to be done, as the entire website is non-profit. If you have anything you think you can help with let us know!

Lastly, please share the website and tell others about it!

Send your suggestions, ideas, messages, and comments to hadasbatel.frumhangout@gmail.com

Q & A
 
 
Awareness of Same Sex Attraction
 
Q & A
 
Is Sex Really That Bad?
 
By GYE

GYE Member asks:

Having a sexual relationship with a woman not married to you is considered bad.
Hooking up with a prostitute is a dirty act.
Having a sexual relationship with a mom is horrific.
Having a sexual relationship with a minor is just as bad.
Having a sexual relationship with the same sex is looked at as dirty and despicable.

With all this in mind, how can I look at the very same act with my spouse as a beautiful act? The act is an animalistic act and feels wrong.

GYE answers:

That's like asking:

Driving a car too fast is dangerous.

Driving too slow is a hazard.

Driving while drunk is terrible.

Driving in a car with no breaks is a death-sentence.

Driving on the wrong side of the road is suicide.

With all this in mind, how can I enjoy driving a car as a useful tool to help me lead a productive life?

Just like a car was created to help us lead productive lives, but we must learn to use this tool correctly; in the same way, sexual desire was created to bring together two committed adults to have children and raise them together, but we must learn to use this powerful tool correctly. When used properly, it is a beautiful act that brings two people together emotionally and a way to share pleasure and bring forth life. But just like a car, if used incorrectly, it can be a very dangerous, despicable, horrific act. So it's not about "the act" being animalistic any more than a car being a "terrible danger."

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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