Somewhere in our past life, we may have picked up the idea that it's not all right to ask for help, that asking for help would be a sign of weakness.

Recovery calls for some basic changes in our thinking, and when we feel vulnerable is the best time to reach out and ask for help from our Higher Power, from our program, and from our friends in recovery.

It's hard for us, at first. We may be afraid of rejection, or of being laughed at for not knowing all the answers.

But once we've taken the risk and openly asked for help, we realize our fears are a part of the past, and we can leave them behind us.

In asking for help, we acknowledge that we can't do it all by ourselves.

We surrender once again to powerlessness.

And we give others the joy and satisfaction of helping us.

Today if I'm feeling I'm on a "solo-fight," help me to reach out and find support just by asking.

The first shrink we went to after my wife found out about my acting out (and had decided to divorce me) said to us: "you do not really have a marriage problem here. Well, maybe you do, but overshadowing the entire thing is another problem: Your husband is a very sick man." Boy I didn't like that. But it saved our marriage. And P.S., he didn't believe in the 12 steps at all and told me so when I asked him about them a few months later! I had to find them on my own, after seeing that I was only getting worse and worse under his "care" and finally hit bottom almost a year later.

Dear GYE,

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.