Getting Serious about the Fight
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1682  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day
Torah: F.I.G.H.T
Prevention: National Review: Getting serious on pornography
Practical Tips: SEXUAL ADDICTION
Testimonials: The old solution is fleeting
 
 
90 Day Journey
 
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Image of the Day
 
Torah
 
F.I.G.H.T
 
Five things to remember when the compulsion strikes
 
By Yaakov from GYE

Written in honor of the yahrtzeit of Beis Aharon of Karlin

Fight isn't ours: We are not asked to fight, we are only asked to want and ask for His help. Give it over to Hashem and pray, "Hashem, I can't, but You can. Take it from me please".

It passes: The strong desires and confusion we feel now will pass. In just a short time, we'll already feel much different. Lust comes in waves, just bow your head and let the wave go overheard. Don't try and fight it head-on.

Game: It's all a game to help us grow and reach our potential. Rebbe Nachman calls the Yetzer Hara "Imagination". It's 99% triggers and emotions and only 1% actual pleasure. After the pleasure, we're thrown right back into reality and see it for what it really is. Don't fall for the lies!

Harmful: "Giving in" is destructive. It takes us away from our goals, from Hashem, from our families, spouses, and from OURSELVES. The obsession is never satisfied until we're dead.

Toil: "Man was created to toil" and there's no escaping it. Either we'll be slaves to Pharaoh with no benefit, or we'll serve Hashem and earn an eternal reward. Life is no picnic, it's full of suffering and strife. We're not here to enjoy ourselves, we're here to work. However, we can choose where we would rather feel the "hardships" and "toil". Will we choose to be slaves to the Yetzer Hara or will we choose to serve G-d with joy?

Prevention
 
National Review: Getting serious on pornography
 
One woman calls for the scientific community to explore the psychological effects pornography can have on a person and their relationships after losing her husband to the sexual entertainment industry.
 
By National Public Radio

Imagine a drug so powerful it can destroy a family simply by distorting a man's perception of his wife. Picture an addiction so lethal it has the potential to render an entire generation incapable of forming lasting marriages and so widespread that it produces more annual revenue — $97 billion worldwide in 2006 — than all of the leading technology companies combined. Consider a narcotic so insidious that it evades serious scientific study and legislative action for decades, thriving instead under the ever-expanding banner of the First Amendment.

Read more
Practical Tips
 
SEXUAL ADDICTION
 
By Alexandra Katehakis, Staff Clinical Director, MFT, CSAT, CST

Center for Healthy Sex

10700 Santa Monica Blvd., Suite 311

Los Angeles, California 90025

www.centerforhealthysex.com

Copyright Disclaimer

"Sexual addicts need to remember the decades of struggle that alcoholics had to go through in order to earn public acceptance of their illness."

~ Patrick Carnes

Sex is a normal, healthy urge. But for the sex addict, it becomes perverted into a coping tool to medicate trauma, tension or discomfort. Over time, the sex addict's symptoms worsen; he or she becomes habituated to current behaviors and takes greater risks to recapture the initial euphoria that could numb the psychic pain. It's a devastating disease that treats other people as objects--like pills or powders--to be consumed, hoarded, discarded. It can lead to a loss of employment, loss of friends and family, other addictions, or even arrest and public humiliation. The abuse of sex--not sex itself--becomes a weapon of self-destruction. Despite much progress and new information, sex addiction is still shrouded by stigma and shame that make it difficult for those suffering to receive the help they need.

During the healing process, we compare sex to the element of fire. Fire can destroy life, or it can support life by cooking our food, keeping us warm, and comforting us in the darkness. Just as we must learn to separate its dangers from its gifts, the sex addict must learn how to separate unhealthy from healthy sex. That's no easy task, especially for someone who grew up in a family that did not teach healthy love. It is a slow process of facing one's primal, never-met needs for non-sexual nurturing, intimacy, friendship and community, and of delving into the painful early traumas that the destructive sexual behaviors disguised, often for years. Usually, a period of total abstinence--a "fast"--is required to cleanse the addict's psyche of old, damaging behaviors and to prepare him or her for new experiences. The journey to recovering one's sexual self as something good and whole can be long and arduous. Human resilience is remarkable, however, and healing is possible. 

  • What did you think when you first heard the term sex addict? Has your view of sex addiction changed?
  • To broaden your understanding of sex addiction, you might read a book on it, attend an open 12-step meeting in one of the "S" programs (Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Sexual Compulsives Anonymous). You can always call the intake line of sex addiction treatment centers and ask questions.
  • Do you or someone you know have a problem with sex addiction? What's stopping you from healing this area of your life? Today, address these issues with trusted others.
Testimonials
 
The old solution is fleeting
 
By GYE Member

I'm in a clean streak now and it certainly feels different. I'm reading more (yourbrainonporn.com as well as much of the online materials here).

I had some major stress today. In the past, it has led me to try to escape. I'm not doing that now. I'm listening to music, taking a walk, focusing on work, learning some Torah. Stress and anxiety aren't going away but I know that running to my computer will be fleeting. It won't make the problems go away and it won't help me solve them, it will just get me to feel even more down.

Here's hoping that this is a step in the right direction.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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