How to stay sober for 700 days
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1662  
In Today's Issue
Announcements: Dov's Q&A Thursday Call
Testimonials: Feeling Strong
Editor’s Note: Cordnoy's 10,000th Post on the GYE Forum On his 700th Day Clean
Announcements: Ask More Questions
Q & A: Using Maaser for Therapy
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Feeling Strong
By gyeadmin

Thank G-d, I'm over 100 days clean B"H. My life has changed around. I'm a happy man, home early, awake early, done great deeds during these past 15 weeks. And I feel strong, because with all this good, it would just be a pity to fall and lose all this!


Editor’s Note
Cordnoy's 10,000th Post on the GYE Forum On his 700th Day Clean

I came to this site by accident, of sorts. Yes, there were several decades of filth and smut in my days, but I always stopped, at least for a week or two, or more. Recovery and lack thereof did not consume my life. I was fine with the pattern. Of course, yamim noraim (mostly), I'd cry and beg and resolve to sin no longer. Some years I even threw in the towel and made a deal with God that I'll do lots of good in other areas and let's just hide this issue in the closet. 

But eventually, there was a rock bottom of sorts. That, together with a push, encouragement, threat of exposure from a woman friend of the family (whom I must have been tryin' to flirt with) put me on a course of action. And that action wasn't a snap of the fingers. And it wasn't without heartache and pain. I went 90 days sober (so to speak). I engaged a long distance therapist, a professional who is recommended by GYE. I joined SA in a city an hour away from me. I was there for about eight months. I went to a local therapist/specialist on and off for about two years. I got two sponsors, one Jewish, one not. I joined calls and eventually led calls. I have been workin' the steps in some way or another for several years. I read the big book, white book, action book and 12&12. I am on my sixth cycle. And I post as well, every once in awhile. 

Talkin' to live people really does wonders. Posts are different when I know the poster and they know me. It makes it more real. (This is an important point to know for anyone who spends time on the forum.) 

GYE gave me the opportunity to personally meet about 20 fine fellows in real life. I thank each and every one of them for their friendship, advice, suggestions, criticisms, etc. And I have had private and personal conversations with another 30 more or so... And been in touch with many tens of others...

And this, my friends, demonstrates the power of GYE; it creates lastin' friendships, friends who deeply care about one another. Four years ago, I knew none of these fellows and now we are best of friends. And perhaps a couple of them I have helped on their journey, but one thing is certain - each and every one of them helped me on mine. I learned humility from one, commitment from another. Mussar, calmness, faith, prayer, carin', devotion, thoughtfulness, diligence, humor, assertiveness, resolve, confidence and more - are just some of the things that I try to apply in my daily life, and for that, I thank them all.

And I must confess that when a fellow emails, calls, texts, WhatsApps, skypes, bumps into me and says, "Cords, you really saved my life, you truly helped me today, this past year would have been impossible without you, I didn't get that massage because of your text"... yes, it feels good, and my ego makes it feel even better, but it's you guys who deserve the credit. You, who set me straight to begin with, you, who showed me my flaws, you, who convinced me of my egotistical, self-centeredness, you, who paved the way for me, and you as well who gave me the opportunity to give back, to keep me honest, to constantly share life's struggles and mine in particular, so thank you.

To share in the congratulations for Cordnoy, join the party here.

Ask More Questions

When a friend is struggling, feeling stuck, or when they are not sure what to do next, learning to ask questions is one of your most useful tools to help.

Q & A
Using Maaser for Therapy
Can I use maaser money to pay for therapy?
By Rav Dovid Morgenstern


Hi. Unfortunately my parents don't really support my going to therapy, so I pay for it myself. I basically work to pay for my therapy. I was wondering if I can pay for therapy using masser money?

If not, can I give my parents money and then they can use it for me? (B'H I cannot say they are poor, but not rich either).

Rav Dovid Morgenstern replies:

The first step is to decide if the person asking the question is obligated in ma'aser. If he does not have enough income to cover is yearly expenses including his treatments, than he is considered a poor person and is not obligated in ma'aser. If he has enough for all his yearly expenses (saving and monthly income) and has enough left over for ma'aser, he cannot use the ma'aser for his own expenses.

The same question are applicable to his parents. Do they manage their yearly expenses, including paying back an debts they have etc. If they do not manage then he can give his ma'aser to his parents as you outlined.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit (Hebrew: / Yiddish:

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit

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