Dov's Q&A call is a WEEKLY Thursday call

8am - 9am EST each Thursday

I have struggled with shmirat habrit, like many of us, my whole life, ever since I was about 10. I always used to think only I had this insane problem, and I felt guilty, sick, depressed, alone, suicidal etc. - that is until, Baruch HaShem, I came across GYE and realized we all go through the same struggles, and I'm certainly not alone.

So first of all: a huge hakaras hatov to GYE and the people behind the scenes who make this happen. The zechus you have up there is indescribable! You should be blessed with continued syata dishmaya and success, Amen!

A big turning point for me was imagining being up in shomayim and everyone is watching my life movie (which, according to Pirkei Avot, is what actually happens after 120), and everyone seeing me fight against the yetzer hora these past 20 years of my life... constantly trying, making guards, building fences, falling so many times but constantly getting back up, crying in davening to HaShem to help me, falling the very same night over and over but trying again and again and again... almost giving up but then revitalizing myself with chizuk from GYE and going again, 1 week clean, falling, 2 weeks clean, falling, a month clean, falling... yes, the struggle that I now realize we all go through! So imagine everyone up there watching this epic movie, imagine how proud you would feel seeing yourself trying and trying and trying over and over again! You would be grinning from ear to ear!

So why are we so harsh on ourselves down here whenever we fail. Let's be proud and know that it's all about the fight and the struggle, the efforts and the battles we put in, the outcome is nice too, but it's extra, the result almost doesn't matter up there in the movie theatre, they just want to see you fight and fight until the very end. If you were always concentrating at not reaching your target and therefore gave up hope and didn't fight, then that is bad... however, if you fought and fought, then even if you didn't achieve, you're good to go.

This movie scenario has given me so much fight power and strength and has encouraged me to continue my war against the YH and to never ever give up or get depressed just cos I fail and lose battles here and there. I will keep on fighting in the next battle and the next and ultimately create the proudest everlasting moments of my life.

1. A lot of good luck is undeserved; so is a lot of bad luck.

2. Life is what happens while you are planning your future.

3. Failure is an opportunity to make another, more intelligent, beginning.

4. If you don't learn from your mistakes, making them makes no sense.

5. The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention.

6. Blessed is he who expects nothing. He will not be disappointed.

7. You don't have to fall into a well to know how deep it is.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.