5 Lies that make us come back for more
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1649  
In Today's Issue
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Announcements: Dov's Q&A Thursday Call
Practical Tips: My Strategies
Sayings: Oh, to be alive!
Attitude & Perspective: 5 Lies that make us coming back to porn
Rabbi Twerski: The Lobster
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Dov's Q&A Thursday Call

Dov's Q&A call is a WEEKLY Thursday call

8am - 9am EST each Thursday

Click here for more info on Dov's weekly call

Want to hear recordings of previous calls? Click here.

Note: the Desperadoes Call continues to be Sundays and Wed at Noon.


Do you like the 'Daily Dose of Dov' in the chizuk e-mails? We're proud to announce:

Dov's Daily Q&A Call

Thursdays, 8-9AM EST

Dial In Number:
From U.S. 515-739-1294
(For all other countries, click here).
Participant PIN: 382530#

Dov - from the "Daily Dose of Dov" - has been sober with Hashem's help through SA one day at a time since 1997 and has been a major part of GYE since 2008.

Recently Dov's story and some of his writings were published in Rabbi Twerski's latest book called "Teshuva & Recovery". (Click here to see Dov's excerpts from the book. The book can be purchased at menuchapublishers.com)

Be"H, Dov has been leading a closed 12-Step call on GYE for a few years (and that call continues). Through that call and the forum, he has spoken with and met with hundreds of GYE members over the years. For the first time, Dov will be leading an OPEN call. That is, the PIN of this call is being made public so that people can call in, ask their questions and discuss them.

This call will be recorded so that we can build a repertoire of Q&A material on GYE. We hope this resource will help many Jewish people around the world who suffer in shame and silence, until Moshiach comes.

Send in your questions beforehand to wequithiding2@gmail.com and Dov will try to address them in the call, as well. Spoken questions posed on the call will still have precedence.

We are excited about this new development and hope that everyone takes advantage of this amazing new opportunity to discuss your deepest secrets, fears and questions with a person who has been there and cares.

Click here for the full information about this call

Practical Tips
My Strategies
Part 2/3
By GYE Member

Part two

The plan

Without a plan, it's almost impossible to stay clean, even if you're completely committed.

How does it work?
The plan has three parts

1) Prevention: This includes filters and accountability software, shmiras einayim and machshava, gedarim, tefillah and posting on the forum.

  • Filters and accountability software

This means that every device with internet capabilities has a filter, and if necessary accountability software, and if you can't put a filter on a computer then you don't use it - or use it only in a way that you wont fall. If you find a loophole then you plug it up either technically (like blocking the site) or with a TaPHSiC method or the like.

  • Shmiras Einayim

This is the way easier said than done, plain old not looking at, or thinking about women unnecessarily. This is where a large part of the battle starts. The reason for this (among others) is because if we move up our struggle to shmiras einaim then the struggle for worse than that becomes a lot easier.

  • Gedarim

This, in my opinion, is one of the most important parts. What it means is looking at your past falls and seeing the patterns that led to it. Then making gedarim for yourself so as not to get into the position and patterns that cause you to fall. An example is that I realized that most of my falls happen later at night after going on a "semi-kosher" site. So I made gedarim not to be online past a certain time and not to go onto that site at all. A similar idea would be not to use the internet with a locked door etc.

  • Tefillah

If we realize that Hashem is in charge then it makes sense to ask him for help in this struggle. This is pretty simple, just say a little tefillah (in middle of shemonah esrei if you like) asking Hashem to help you with the struggle.

  • Posting on the forum

This is the most fun and fulfilling part in my opinion. Just post when you feel weak, when you're bored you can go to the "Just Having Fun" section, and of course give chizzuk and advice to other members. This helps tremendously because if you see (and say) the ideas enough, then it becomes much more real to you, plus you have the added benefit of having helped people in the struggle. And if you post chizzuk and help others often then it will be harder for you to fall because "what will everyone I helped think?"

To be continued...
Sooner or later every addict stops acting-out; it's just nice to be alive when it happens.
Attitude & Perspective
5 Lies that make us coming back to porn
Rabbi Twerski
The Lobster
By Twerski, Rabbi Dr. Avraham

A lobster is a soft mushy animal that lives inside of a rigid shell. That rigid shell does not expand. Well, how can the lobster grow?

As the lobster grows, that shell becomes very confining and the lobster feels itself under pressure and uncomfortable. It goes under a rock formation to protect itself from predatory fish, casts off the shell, and produces a new one.

Well, eventually that shell becomes very uncomfortable as it grows… back under the rocks – good! The lobster repeats this numerous times, the stimulus for the lobster to be able to grow is that it feels uncomfortable.

Now, if lobsters had doctors, they would never grow, because as soon as the lobster feels uncomfortable, it goes to the doctor, gets a Valium, gets a Percocet, feels fine. Never casts off his shell. So, I think, we have to realize that times of stress are also times that are signals for growth. And if we use adversity properly, we can grow through adversity.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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