R' Nachman writes that every Jewish soul is connected with the 70 holy souls that went down to Mitzrayim with Yaakov Avinu, which correspond to the 70 facets of the Torah. And on the side of impurity are the 70 nations of the world, with each nation representing another evil trait or worldly desire. And the desire for sexual transgression is the all-encompassing trait that represents all 70 evil traits and desires. And then R' Nachman writes, that he who succeeds in conquering this desire will find all the other desires of the world easy to conquer, and he will be worthy of having the secrets of the Torah revealed to him. (Lekutei Maharan, 36)

According to the non-profit Fight The New Drug (FTND), which relies on dozens of studies for its pornography data, "men who go to prostitutes are twice as likely to have watched a porn film in the last year compared to the general population."

So is porn a statistically-proven slippery slope? We think so.

Ben Zoma said that the strongest force of the heart's might is the power to overcome evil inclination. Courage in battle is not as great; there are many strong, brave warriors who have learned the arts of war and know how to fight. But the battle of the evil inclination demands much greater, more powerful and more sophisticated force. It [the evil inclination] lies in wait, ready to attack and destroy, and it already has a powerful grip over the body. Defeating this most formidable enemy is true heroism in battle.

R' Duvid Chaim,

First, thank you. Second, thank you. And of course, third... and onwards.

And as you said, the program is not about lust. As a byproduct of getting rid of resentments and fears, lust disappears. I am certainly not cured, but I can sense that the promises of the program are coming true. I have a new sense of awareness of the immediacy of life around me, the beauty of connecting to people and Hashem's world in a real and new sense, a sense of calm and serenity that I have not experienced before. A new level of patience and connection with my wife and kids, understanding and tolerance, that allows me to be happy even in the face of turmoil. Don't get me wrong -- I am not always "holding" there, but from where I was before to now is truly incredible.

Re: the lusting, first let me say that despite my 12 year "sobriety" I could never figure out how to stop the onslaught of illicit thoughts that would rush in to my brain as I closed my eyes on my pillow at night; my "pacifier" to put me to sleep. Somehow those thoughts have all but diminished, for the first time ever, which is a complete miracle. And when they do try to infiltrate, I have so far been successful for the most part (not always, and yes, I daven that the miracle should continue) to allow them to go "in one ear and... out the other." I attribute this solely to siyata d'Shamaya, perhaps because of my hishtadlus in joining the program, perhaps because G-d knows that I am trying to get closer to Him sincerely, perhaps for some other reason that I am probably not aware of. Also, my craving to see improper things on Blackberry has diminished greatly, and, bli ayn hara, I daven that it should not return. Also, when I avert my eyes from things I should not see, it is not as painful as it used to be; in fact I get an inner simcha when I am successful to be able to focus away from what I remind myself is counterfeit joy and turn my attention to true joy. Also, I am taking new joy in my wife, no longer focused on my resentfulness of her overweight, and am learning to love her deeply and truly. What could be better? Not a religious life - a SPIRITUAL life. Simple, obvious, yet only finally beginning to be completely accessible now.

R' Duvid Chaim, your name bespeaks your purpose: you give CHAIM through your loving, blunt, caring presentation of the program to withered souls who crave the reviving waters of true simcha and chesed. I am making it my purpose and my mission to become a person who "gets out of my head" and starts living for others and for Hashem. May He give you, the Chevra, me and all of Klal Yisroel the continued siyata shemaya to gain a true refuah and connect truly to Him alone. Thank you - todah - I am modeh to you from the bottom of my heart.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.