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  Breaking Free Chizuk #1616  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day
Q & A: The Magnitude and Root-Causes of Today’s Kedusha Crisis
Personal Stories: What GYE did for me!
Rabbi Twerski: SHOVAVIM
 
 
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Image of the Day
 
Q & A
 
The Magnitude and Root-Causes of Today’s Kedusha Crisis
 
Part 8/12
 
What is the magnitude of the problems that have arisen as a result of digital technology, and how can we address the core roots that lead to these problems?
 
By Yaakov from GYE

Continuation of RYW's Response:

My partner and I have brainstormed together and we have a multi-page plan of ideas that can be done. My partner spoke yesterday to Rav Aharon Feldman, who encouraged us to take a proactive, not reactive position with regard to this issue.

I am preparing to share our ideas with this esteemed group soon.

I just wanted to share two quick ideas that were raised with Dov's email.

1) GYE has an accountability program that matches everyone with a chavrusa to speak to once a week to affirm if they are still clean, or not. (This is known as a sponsor in the Anon parlance, but "chavrusa" might be a more familiar term in our circles). Why can’t we roll this out more broadly? Maybe in 9th grade, every student gets a chavrusa they speak to once a week to ensure that they are clean. Even if every bachur is not looking at porn, they are surely struggling with the thought of it, knowing how accessible it is. Maybe everyone should have a Shmiras Einayim Chavrusa. It can start in yeshivas and then be rolled out in shuls. Why wait till they have to go to GYE?

2) TAG is doing very important work. They set up filters and other accountability software, But TAG is currently being reactive. They wait till people go to them. We have to switch to being proactive. What about this idea, from my partner. The Rav of each shul should make a private meeting with every couple in the shul. He should tell them frankly what is going on: that 70 percent of frum people have unfiltered devices. The addiction continuum in many cases can run like this (I know this from some frank conversations with relatives and baal habatim): Unfiltered devices lead to movie watching. Movie watching leads to binge-watching (4-5 hours at a time of addictive programing) that leads to compulsive porn use, lust addiction, and eventually to meeting with prostitutes and other physical sexual encounters. Binge-watching also leads to Chillul Shabbos. The Rav can say, "I am making a personal request. Everyone in our Kehila is at risk, or at risk of being at risk. Please make sure to get all your devices TAG'd. Do it for the sake of the future of Klal Yisrael. We cannot have a Klal Yisrael with these shockingly high numbers (at least 100,000 - 200,000 frum Jews struggling with porn addiction). If 70 percent don’t have filters, then an equal number of people are at severe risk of being on a continuum that leads to seeing prostitutes or having affairs, which is as close as a few clicks or swipes in some of the popular apps today. The rav can’t just say it in a drasha. He should make a personal solicitation. He tells people that he will follow up in a week. The same thing can be done with schools. The principal and a tech expert meet with every parent and tells them frankly what is going on and makes a personal request.

This may sound like a lot of work. But the status quo is not tenable. We all know so many adults who went to yeshiva who stopped being frum. The term "at risk" or "off the derech" seems outdated nowadays, because it's so common. Not only with kids, but with married men and post seminary girls. In the last Haskala we lost 80% of the religious community. We can literally lose 80% again if we don't change. We have to see it like a spiritual holocaust that we are watching in real time, with extreme speed. If we can stop a holocaust would we put in a little effort?

But all of this is just staunching the bleeding. this is the Sur Mera. We need the Aseh Tov. The main work has to be put into creating a sense of simcha with Torah and Yiddishkeit in the first place.

That we can continue shortly in another email.

What do you think of these ideas?

To be continued...
Personal Stories
 
What GYE did for me!
 
The following is an e-mail we received from a girl who was helped by GYE:
 
By Blueberry

As my wedding day approaches, I feel it as an obligation to tell you a bit of my story and how GYE came to the rescue and brought me to where I am now.

Read more
Rabbi Twerski
 
SHOVAVIM
 
By GYE Corp.

"Shovavim" - which stands for the first letters of the Parshios Shemos through Mishpatim - is a time of calling for Teshuva, as the Pasuk says "Shuvu Banim Shovavim - Return, wayward children!" This period covers the servitude of Mitzrayim and the subsequent redemption. Below, we bring a nice quote from Rabbi Twerski's daily tips, which can help us understand why this period is so "mesugal" and important for Teshuvah:

"I am your God Who has delivered you ,"from the land of Egypt" (Shema, Numbers 15:41).

This verse is recited twice daily, because the deliverance from Egypt was more than a historic event. It was a deliverance from a state of enslavement, and this deliverance should repeat itself daily in everyone's life.

No enslavement and no tyranny are as ruthless and as demanding as slavery to physical desires and passions. Someone who is unable to resist a craving, and who must, like a brute beast, do whatever the body demands, is more profoundly enslaved than someone subject to a human tyrant. Addicted people are an extreme example of those who have become slaves to their bodies.

Dignity comes from freedom, in the capacity to make free choices, and hence, in our ability to refuse to submit to physical desires when our judgment indicates that doing so is wrong. Freedom from domination by the body is the first step toward spiritual growth."

Today I shall ...

... declare my freedom from the tyranny of my body.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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