Am I an Evil-Doer?
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1552  
In Today's Issue
Chizuk: A vort from Baal Shem Tov in honor of Chai Elul
Q & A: Harsh Punishment
Daily Dose of Dov: Masturbation is Evil... But That is Quite Irrelevant
Testimonials: Positive changes despite ongoing challenges
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A vort from Baal Shem Tov in honor of Chai Elul
Chai Elul is Baal Shem Tov's birthday.
By Yaakov from GYE

Every pull to lust and connection is really a pull of your soul to G-d... It's just that an addict's brain messes up the signals... The Bal Shem Tov calls it "Fallen Love"... Its source is up on high, but our souls are trapped in physical bodies and are looking for the answers in the wrong places.

So when you keep feeling the obsession, it's not because G-d is abandoning you. It's because He is calling you. Your soul is yearning for something... something... you just don't know what, and see with eyes of flesh. Try to see with the eyes of your soul what it is that you REALLY are looking for.

Q & A
Harsh Punishment
Why would I want to be close to Someone who states such harsh punishments if I move an inch from the Torah?
By GYE Admin


Please listen to this great shiur by Rabbi Shafier that he recently recorded for our members called "Guilt & Teshuvah".

Please realize that although the Torah takes a tough stance when we don't listen to Hashem, however Teshuvah was created even before the world was created! Hashem knew that we would stumble in these areas. He has infinite patience and He understands us far better than we understand ourselves. Chazal say that Hashem even brought David Hamelech to stumble with Bas Sheva, only to show us the incredible power of Teshuvah.


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Daily Dose of Dov
Masturbation is Evil... But That is Quite Irrelevant
By Dov

I feel very guilty when I do something really stupid. What's wrong with that?

Yes, the guilt pain of masturbating does require many people to medicate all over again. So?

Too many newbies make what they think is a 'recovery call' - but really they just want the 'older' guy on the other end to make them feel better. They are desperate for that one thing and that one thing only. It's BS (pardon my french), and it will not help them get sober, at all.

Yes, feeling badly about doing something that is bad for me has bad side-effects. But so does going to work, driving, cleaning up after your child throws up on the floor, etc... So? It's gotta be done.

It is evil for me to masturbate - but if I am an addict, that fact is irrelevant to me quitting. It is evil for me to use porn, look at a woman and undress her with my eyes, focus on how 'hot' Hashem made her, etc...but that fact is irrelevant in getting me free of the compulsion. There is some unpleasant work that I cannot avoid, like facing the truth about my choices, powerlessness, failure, and lifestyle.

Masturbating, fantasizing, and porning - even if it were 100% mutar...wait - even if it was a mitzvah - is and always was self-destructive to me. period. I abuse it like an alkie abuses alcohol - and drinking alcohol is certainly not a lav, even in the SMa"K. There are times when it is a good thing, actually...but not for a frum alcoholic. For him, getting drunk on Purim is like having sex with his niddah wife or a prostitute - it is destructive, even deadly. Is that not evil? Drinking wine for kiddush or the four kosos is evil for him, and as Chaza"l say, sakanta chamirah me'isurah.

This is derech eretz, not a mitzvah-issue - if one is an addict. Just cuz it overlaps issur - that is pure distraction, totally irrelevant - for one who is unable to stop and if it is risking or damaging his real life.

None of this is true for the average Jew, who simply masturbates once in a blue moon because he really, really likes the way that a good orgasm with himself feels. That is what He made Teshuvah (ila'ah) for, not recovery.

Positive changes despite ongoing challenges
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit (Hebrew: / Yiddish:

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit

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