What are the risks? Oh, nothing... just EVERYTHING!
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1541  
In Today's Issue
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Prevention: Study says watching porn may kill your marriage
Daily Dose of Dov: Wet Dreams
Testimonials: The emails are a life-saver!
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Image of the Day
Study says watching porn may kill your marriage
Daily Dose of Dov
Wet Dreams
By Dov

I hate wet dreams and do not wish them on anyone. But here is what I have been given on that:

I think it is a pretty much just silly pride for me to ever really buy the belief that a guy like me - no matter how much recovery work I ever do - really deserves to sleep free of wet dreams. I have viewed and used enough porn and fantasy and acted out plenty. I haven't the power - nor the responsibility - to get totally rid of the stash in my brain! I do not access it - but it is there, I guess, and that is OK! I have found that I can be sober (and often even happy) anyway! It is truly a brocha that I have not had a wet dream in something over ten years, I think... through no credit to me, of course.

When I feel vulnerable to one, I realize that the fear of it is the strongest cause of a wet dream that there can ever be (as is written in s'forim hk'), so I avoid saying cool segulos and complex incantations c"v... that stuff feels like plain old avodah zorah, for me. I like to depend on G-d, not on the words of tehillim, incantations, etc., c"v. So I tell Him like this: "Dearest Tatty, I am afraid of having a sexual dream tonight. I lusted so much in the past years, months, and days, and I do not fool myself to think I deserve any better. That is why I am depending on Your Chessed, which you have plenty of, I hear."

And I tell Him that I trust Him and that I would be so happy if He would help me sleep with no lust tonight and then wake up refreshed and happy to be His imperfect kid.

And then I smile (seriously - that's very important. My best Friend is watching over me, what's there not to smile about?), lie down (on my side of course, cuz I am not an idiot) and trust Him 100% - cuz fear while I am right in His face is just silly. He loves me to pieces, even though I am a lust addict. Just as He loves everybody else, even though they are whatever they are. I like saying Adon Olam after that, preferably in my own words in English, then in Hebrew. It ends with the same idea as the above, exactly. Adon Olam is a sweet, beautiful gift from Him to me.

The emails are a life-saver!
By GYE Admin

I cannot tell you how much I enjoy the emails. I was struggling with an issue in regards to a movie I watched, and just reading the articles, of all the people that try so hard to be good Jews, was enough to help me.


Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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