Understanding Shmiras HaBris
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1495  
In Today's Issue
Image of the Day
Editor’s Note: Happy Isru Chag!
Chizuk: Running TOWARDS Hashem
Chizuk: The squirrel, the girl, and the cup of honey
Testimonials: Fell on My Face. Can't Get Too Cozy!
Q & A: Understanding Shemiras Habris
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Image of the Day
Editor’s Note
Happy Isru Chag!

Dear GYE family,

I hope your Shavuos was inspiring and your received G-d's Torah b'simcha ub'pnimius.

In the parsha of Mattan Torah, Hashem tells us: "Ushmartem es brisi." Says the holy sefer Avodas Isroel by the Kozhnitzer Maggid: "There are those who hope every day to merit shmiras habris. To those, HaKadosh Boruch Hu sends his assurances: "You will guard the bris - ushmartem es brisi!"

Torah recognizes our daily struggle and assures us that we can and will succeed. Let us rejoice!

In this issue, we share with you insight from our members on how to accomplish this holy task.

We also bring you testimonials of two members - male and female - about their renewed hope and commitment to sexual purity and sobriety. If you can't follow the links, email me and I will be only glad to send the articles to you.

Best of everything, especially sobriety and recovery,



Running TOWARDS Hashem
By Me

Two people can be "outwardly" doing the very same thing (like shmiras habris for example), and yet on the "inside", they are completely different.

1) You can be doing shmiras habris by: Running franticly from the y"h thereby feeling pressure, fear, anxiety, eventual exhaustion, which in the end can lead to a fall. Why? It is the VERY stress and anxiety of this type of approach which beckons us to return to the acting out, in order to sooth our pains - so to speak.

2) You can be doing shmiras habris by: Instead of running FROM the y"h, running TOWARDS Hashem. Your entire focus, contrary to the above, is one of GOING somewhere that I wish to be (Hashem), rather than running from a place I am frightened of. The first option produces anxiety which can feed the problem, the second, i.e running TO Hashem's palace, will produce a different type of feeling... because you are doing something completely different. You are building and strengthening yourself with each step, as opposed to "fleeing", which causes tiredness with each step.

The squirrel, the girl, and the cup of honey
By GYE Member

This morning, as I was driving to work, cars zipping by me, a furry little squirrel streaked in front of my car. I gasped, but it was instantaneous. Looking in horror in my mirror, I saw its crushed body, saw it lift its head confusedly and fall limply back down. My heart screamed in terror and withered and twisted in the awfulness. I just killed a beautiful living being. I JUST KILLED IT. The sick feeling intensified in my stomach and I remained shaken as I pulled into the school parking lot. “Why? Why? Why did G-d cause this to happen? What is He trying to tell me?” The insight eluded me.

Read more
Fell on My Face. Can't Get Too Cozy!
By GYE Member

After being sober for almost a year and just falling recently again, I want to share what I think the main point in our struggle is.

I have no doubt that one of the main reasons I fell is because I got comfortable in this struggle. Not only did I get comfortable, I WANTED TO FORGET THAT I HAVE SUCH A STRUGGLE AT ALL. "I AM A NORMAL PERSON, I CAN LOOK JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE CAN." This is the biggest problem of all, in my experience.

My dear brothers and sisters! I can't say that this is true for everyone, but I am sure that many can relate: we have to start living one day at a time and begging Hashem to remove this from us even 1000 times a day; we cannot get cozy!!!

If we start thanking Hashem for this struggle and start smiling again and believe that this is the best thing for us - even though, we can't see how - we will be able to continue on and be truly alive everyday; if not, we will just wilt away and give up our true job.

Let us accept this holy job that Hashem has given us and let's do His will and not ours, because ultimately our will has screwed us again and again.

I hope to share again with better news.

Q & A
Understanding Shemiras Habris
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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