Secret to Change, Secret to Happiness.
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1466  
In Today's Issue
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Chizuk: The Secret to Happiness
Torah: Exodus from The Mitzrayim of Lust
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The Secret to Happiness
Part 7/8
By the.guard

Said the student to his Rebbe: “I want happiness”. Replied the Rebbe: “First remove the I which is haughtiness. Then remove the want which is desire. After that, all that will be left is happiness.

Part 7: The Role of Pain and Suffering

If the purpose of creation was for G-d to bestow His good on us, what is the role that suffering and pain play in the overall scheme of things, and why is there so much of it in the world?

Many people have a misconception of G-d as vengeful or scary; threatening us with punishment if we don’t listen to Him. This is a misconception. When the Torah speaks of the “Fear of Heaven” it doesn’t mean that we should be afraid of G-d. The Maggid of Mezrich is quoted (in the Sefer Toldos Yaakov Yitzchak) as saying that while “Fear of G-d” is a great achievement, being “afraid” of G-d is one of the worst misconceptions a Jew can have (as in, “Who knows what G-d will do? He might kill me for this or for that!”). After all, how can we truly trust in G-d if we’re afraid of Him? Could a perfect G-d who has no needs and created us only for our own good possibly be “scary”, “mean” or “threatening”? Surely G-d understands us and loves us much more than we can imagine! He can’t possibly hurt us. Basic fear of G-d is simply the fear of His awesomeness and His judgment (as we are all taught from a young age). But an even higher level is the fear of disappointing such a great and loving G-d! It is the fear not doing G-d’s will and causing pain to the שכינה– the Divine presence (כביכול) for not being able to bestow His good upon us as He wishes to. True “Fear of Heaven” in any form will increase our trust and comfort with G-d, not detract from it - G-d forbid.

The pain and suffering in the world are not “punishments of a vengeful G-d” but rather like surgery for a sick person. As we’ve discussed above, the universe was structured in a way that leads us all in the direction of altruism so that G-d can bestow His good on us. When humans act immature and run away from the tools that G-d has given us to help us achieve altruism in a peaceful and beautiful way, pain and suffering are the only recourse to strip us of the self until our hearts are broken, as the Pasuk says after the Tochacha: אז יכנע לבבם הערל– “and then their uncircumcised hearts will submit and be humbled” to follow the path towards the light.

Why have the Jewish people suffered so much throughout history? All the curses of the Torah’s retributions (Tochacha) have come to pass upon us through endless wanderings, expulsions, decrees, pogroms, crusades and the terrible Holocaust of the last century that wiped out two thirds of European Jewry in the most horrible ways imaginable. The reason we seem to be singled out by G-d for suffering is because the Jewish people were chosen for an awesome responsibility by the Master of the Universe. We Jews are like the King’s inner guards, and the Torah and Mitzvos that we have are like the special uniforms that the King’s guards wear at all times with pride. All those who see the Jewish people are supposed to be reminded that there is a Creator of the Universe. It is our destiny – from which we cannot escape – to represent the King and to be the ones to spread the will of the King in the world. How? First and foremost by changing ourselves through the Torah and Mitzvos, and by being an example to the world of an altruistic people who live for G-d (and whom G-d, in turn, takes care of with love). The Jewish people are the closest to the purpose of creation. When we fail at our task, we are “forced” back onto the path. The “curses” of the Retribution are not “punishments” per se. They are just the “long path” towards the goal that results when we refuse to take the short path. Our 'Self' needs to ultimately be “peeled off of us”, whether we like it or not. G-d desires to bestow His good on us, and nothing will stand in the way of His goal. As the parable of our Sages goes, there are two paths in life: The long-short path, and the short-long path. The long-short path has thorns in the beginning, but is short and sweet afterwards. The short-long path is easy in the beginning, but is long and full of thorns throughout the rest of it.

To reiterate the premise of this entire article; the great happiness and pleasure of G-d’s light is waiting for all of us in plain sight. We just need to be ready to strip our “SELF” away and it will begin to flow through us! It is important to point out though, that if our only intention in being “selfless” is to receive G-d’s light, it won’t work very well (because this once again becomes about "me"). Instead, we need to develop a true desire to emulate G-d and become “Givers” so that we can do His will and become One with Him, as the pasuk says ולדבקה בו- “and to cling to Him”. And our sages ask, “How can one cling to G-d, He is an All-Consuming Fire?!” And they answer, “One should cling to His Midos. Just as He is merciful, so too must one be merciful, etc.” When we do act in this way, with these intentions, the light of G-d automatically begins to flow through us and we will merit great joy.

To be continued...
Exodus from The Mitzrayim of Lust
By GYE Member

I want to share this thought while I am feeling a massive urge to go back to my old ways. I am 9 months in recovery.

In the past, when I used to feel stressed and anxious - which caused me to feel vulnerable - I would turn to "adult entertainment," which I thought would bring some enjoyment in to my life. But since I joined the GYE I have learned that not only was it not fun, but I was causing damage to myself and others around me. How stupid could I have been. I was locked away in LUST PRISON!!

Read article
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit (Hebrew: / Yiddish:

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit

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