Dear Yid,

You have a disease called addiction, which means that your brain has become hyper-sexual by the pathways carved by the chemicals released over years when doing these behaviors. You see, the brain needs to find balance. So when a person begins engaging in these kind of behaviors often, the brain compromises and learns to balance itself in spite of these chemicals. That means that if you try to STOP now, your brain will feel unbalanced! That is what causes withdrawal at first, until the brain gets used to being normal again. The addiction causes you to be super-aroused by the slightest hint of lust, because any lust causes the chemicals to start flowing. The brain tricks you into believing that you NEED this and CRAVE this more than anything in the world, and you must act to get your "fix". But it is all a lie. The actually pleasure of an orgasm is no better than a bar of chocolate. But for an addict, the lust that surrounds the experience is a drug; a release of chemicals that the brain has learned to rely on to keep it's balance. Once you recognize this, you will begin to understand why chazal say that the LESS YOU FEED IT, THE LESS YOU WILL NEED IT.

Then you will be ready to take the jump into recovery.

On the other hand, the more you keep giving in, the more deeply engraved the pathways become and the more dependent your brain becomes on these chemicals, hence, harder to break free. The addiction NEVER gets enough. It is NEVER satisfied. You could have everything you dream you want yet you would still be desperate for more, for better, always chasing that elusive "perfect" female with the "perfect" body parts, and "perfect" situation. It will drive you insane until it slowly destroys your life, your ruchniyus, your gashmius, your marriage and your name... and it won't be satisfied till your DEAD.

Hit bottom while still on top, and recognize lust for what it really is: A dangerous drug.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.