Miriam is Duvid Chaim’s wife and has more than 10 years experience in the S-Anon and CODA Programs, plus advanced training and education through the International Coach Academy with a focus on helping couples and individuals getting back to basics in their relationships and living life rather than just surviving life.

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An estimated 2.1 million people seek help from AA each year, and as many as 10 million alcoholics may have achieved sobriety through the group. AA doesn't work for everyone-success rates are difficult to measure, because of participants' anonymity-but millions credit the program with saving their lives. AA's foundational credo, the famous twelve steps, have become cultural lodestones incorporated into treatment programs for overeating, gambling, debt, sex, drugs, hoarding, self-mutilation, smoking, video game addictions, emotional dependency, and dozens of other destructive behaviors.

Something happened yesterday that got me really down. Today, I listened to a shiur I heard by Rabbi Sassoon on surrendering your will to Hashem. If you always want things in life to go your way, you will always be miserable and depressed.

Hashem is the King. If He allowed it to happen, it means it was His Will. End of story. Therefore it was for the best.

There are always moments in life where things don't seem to go your way. This is rooted in a self-centred outlook. An outlook where you think you know what's best for you.

My little brain has no idea why what happened is the best for me. But of course the Brain of Infinite Wisdom knows - and if He would tell me why, it would ruin my chance to grow closer to Him as it wouldn't be a test.

Hashem put me in this situation for a purpose, because He wants me to have 5th level pleasure! The pleasure of being a partner with the Ultimate Pleasure.

"Ineedhelp" posted on the forum:

The Gemara relates that when Rebi Yochanan Ben Zakai was sick and about to die, his Talmidim came to him and said, "Rebbe give us a Bracha on how to live!" Rebi Yochanan Ben Zakai replied with an amazing bracha (that we should all be Zocheh to get). He said, "May the fear that you have for Hashem be like the fear you have for your fellow man".

I give us all this bracha, that we should have the "fear of man" - even when only Hashem is seeing our sins.

Dov (sober in SA for almost 12 years) responds:

May recovery bring us to really know that Hashem is seeing our mitzvos.

And to become constantly aware (like we are of our noses) that He is together with you and me (bishvili nivra ha'olam! right here!) while we are eating, sleeping, playing, learning, yelling at our kids, worrying, showering, regretting, lying, crying, laughing, posting, brushing our teeth, smiling at a friend (or "enemy"), trying, helping, giving up, davening, being born and dying (not necessarily in that order for the last two ;-). It is a pity that some folks (but very few addicts in 12 step recovery) may wait till they are about to die, to really, really try to get comfortable being with their very own G-d.

Now that's what I expect out of recovery: real life!

Who needs to reach for any escape when you have inescapable, real life?

Who has time to even worry about acting out?

May Hashem help us all get closer, starting today.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.