Shabbos 31b: "All the Torah in the world won't save a person unless he has Yiras Shomayim." Artscroll footnote at the end of the sugya defines Yiras Shomayim as negating YOUR will in order to fulfill Hashem's will. Yes, Torah and honesty in business are indispensable, BUT the Yiras Shomayim is both the PURPOSE of existence and the preservative of our Torah and all we accomplish. And that is the exact same DEVEYKUS HASHEM that we in the program are working toward! GEVALDIG!

I had two amazing A&W's (hashgacha) that I have to share with you.

1) At the top of 31b when Rashi is describing the garlic eater moshul, and compares it to repetitive sins, my Magid Shiur said "this shows that when a person "falls" he doesn't throw in the towel and give up, and do more aveiros - instead he should get up and get back on the right track right away, no excuses - sheva yipol hatzaddik v'kum!!"

2) The second one was a neighbor stopped me and said "Among all the chassadim that HKB"H has done for us lately, the greatest gift he has given us was that we each said hundreds of times: "I HAVE NO POWER!! I AM POWERLESS!!"

Baruch Hashem that Hashem has led me to understanding all of this!! I wouldn't trade in my WORST days in recovery for my best days in addiction.

Dear holy person - it sounds like you are reaching out for help.

If you feel that you are not just a sinner, but are actually out of your mind - meaning: out of control - and have come to believe that you are pretty much hopelessly self-destructive, you may be in luck. Most of the folks who actually get helped in serious 12 step work are in that category. It's the ones that don't feel too far gone that have the really bad odds. More head-banging is needed sometimes, but Oy, the wreckage, the wreckage....

If you still feel you are just a really, really terrible person and that you must continue the struggle with your "yetzer hara" for Hashem's sake or whatever, then I have little to say to you. Talk to a rabbi... I am relatively certain you have already... well, is it working?

Per the cumulative track record you describe in the little I was able to read of your story, it seems to me that you are way past anything like moral imperatives or values having any effect. But please don't let that disturb you a bit - you may be very ill. In my case, I started getting better after coming to terms with my illness too. Nu. And my life turned around completely.

Yours can, too. And you will not have to be party to ruining any other peoples' lives any more, either.

If you fear that anything other than a standard religious or moral approach to working on this horrible problem would mean "a heter to just keep getting worse!", I'd ask you the obvious (and usually unanswerable) question: "Well, how well has your religious solution been working for you till now?"...

Coming for help is great, but it does not mean recovery. The moral roller coaster of teshuva, swearing off and then just more acting out, is a pain I wish on no one. It sounds like you know that already, though. Don't just reach out. After all, we don't just reach out to act out, do we? We need to reach out and get the help we need, and stick with it until we get helped, period. Because no matter how many rotten things we have done and no matter how much wreckage we have caused, we are still worth being saved for good use to Hashem and others!

Lust may be the loneliest and most painful way to mis-connect with people, you know.

G-d bless you.

You are not alone... at all.

Here is some info on the iPhone:

How to Disable Safari

The iPhone OS is equipped with a "Restrictions" feature which allows you to password protect certain applications. Go to Settings -> General -> Restrictions and you can create a password for Safari. You can then forget this password and give it to someone else. If you happen to know it and want to reset it, type in the password, then disable restrictions and re-enable it. It will ask you to type in a new passcode. NOTE: Restricting Safari will prevent you from using Safari at all, even for safe content, unless you know the password. If you need your browser for safe activities, see below.

Setting up Mobicip

There are now a number of filters available for the iPhone. I use Mobicip which is excellent and only costs a few dollars. Basically, you download the app and use it to browse instead of Safari (which should be disabled). You set up an account by pressing the Mobicip app for the first time. Select the option to create a new account. Enter an email address that you do not have access to and choose a password that you won't remember BUT REMEMBER IT TEMPORARILY. You will need to enter it to log in for the first time after the account is created. Set the filter level to Elementary School Level (which is the default). After creating the account, log in using the email and password you just created. Now you can safely forget the password. You will use this app to browse the web securely from now on. If you have to make changes to the settings, you will need to ask the person who's email is on the account to log into www.mobicip.com to change settings.

Anytime a VIP gets caught with his (or her) pants down - Arnold Schwarzenegger or Anthony Weiner, for example - you can almost hear the collective "huh?" around the nation's water coolers, on its Twitter feeds and shared over its backyard fences.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.