#1337b - Parsha Recovery - Hoshana Rabba
 
 
  Parsha Recovery - Hoshana Rabba  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day: V'Ani Tomid Ayacheil...
Torah: Slaughter the Trojan Horse!
Announcements: Dov's 12-Step Desperados - New Cycle!
Daily Dose of Dov: Don't Live in the Problem, Live in the Solution.
Practical Tips: Clear cut plan
 
 
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Image of the Day
 
V'Ani Tomid Ayacheil...
 
V'Ani Tomid Ayacheil...
Torah
 
Slaughter the Trojan Horse!
 
By Fishman, Tzvi

Taken from Tzvi Fishman's Blog on Arutz Sheva, at http://www.israelnationalnews.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/4

Slaughter the Trojan Horse!

Everyone's final judgment is hermetically sealed and handed over to the Heavenly Tribunal on Hoshana Rabbah. Many Jews will stay up all night studying Torah this evening in a last burst of t'shuva. My friends, we have come down to the wire. Therefore in the name of our holy Sages, if you have not yet installed an anti-pornography filtering service on your computer, this is the time to do it. Save yourselves and save your holy children!

The beginning of this week marked the yahrtzeit of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov. Yesterday was the yahrtzeit of the Gaon of Vilna. Today, the guest in our Succah is Yosef. Rabbi Nachman taught that the greatest test in life is to fight against the sexual temptation. As we have explained elsewhere, one of the main weapons in the battle is the lulav. The waving of the lulav and the succah itself are all designed to purify us from our sexual mistakes and protect us from the sexual sin. Rabbi Nachman explains that the awesome destructive power of the nations comes from their saturation in sexual impurity. They come against us with the power of evil. Our real weapon against them is not tanks and bombers, but our lulavs. The holiness of Israel is what overcomes our enemies, not our physical prowess. When we purify our beings, re-embrace the holy Brit and reattach ourselves to G-d, our enemies are shattered before us. This is the secret of the haftorahs we read on the first day of the Holiday and on Shabbat. It is not our physical might that defeats the terrible enemies that strike from the north, but our holy connection to G-d. The salvation is from Him.

Our Sages have long told us that sexual transgression causes a terrible rift between the Jewish Nation and G-d, causing exile and national destruction. Our enemies know this and therefore muster all of their cunning, material resources, and technology to bring us to sin. This has been the strategy from the time of Amalek, Midian, Greece, throughout history down to the zillion dollar industry of Internet pornography today. Today, this terrible enemy has not only invaded our territorial borders – rather, like the Trojan Horse, it has been afforded in an honored place in our homes. So if you want to join in the fight and help win the battle, save yourselves and your children, and the entire Jewish Nation – and expel this seductive, vile, and cruel and crafty enemy from your homes.

The Gaon of Vilna writes that the apocalyptic war of Gog and Magog that we read about on Succot can be averted if we reassert of allegiance to the Covenant of sexual purity through Tikun HaBrit. This is the great example and teaching of Yosef who is called Yosef the Tzaddik because he resisted the temptations of Potifar's wife. It is Yosef, in his aspect of sexual holiness, who leads the way to tomorrow's exalted succah guest, King David, who represents the long-awaited Redemption and re-establishment of the Kingdom of Israel. Rabbi Nachman stresses that it is precisely through the festival of Sukkot and the rectification of the Brit that comes through it that we attain the great holiness that leads us to victory over our enemies and to the renewal of the fallen succah of David.

This week, we had the honor of welcoming the esteemed Kabbalist, HaRav Eliahu Leon Levi, in our succah. He explained that because we are in the sixth millennium of Jewish history, which parallels the sefirah of the Yesod, the channel of sexual purity represented by Yosef, the nations of the world are waging a fierce spiritual war against us, precisely in this sphere, the very foundation of our holiness and connection to G-d. This is the underlying reason for all of the sexual licentiousness today. It is the people who sanctify their sexual lives, he said, who will find "a refuge in Zion and Jerusalem" in the end of days, as our Prophets have promised.

Each of us can play a part in this national sanctification by making sure that the impurity of the nations of the world does not seep into his or her home through the Trojan Horse of the Internet. Download a filter today. In our home, we have three for safe measure: Eye-Saver of Bezeq; K9 Web Protection; and the new enhanced Israeli Rimon.

If we all make this a part of our t'shuva, we will give a big push to bring the Redemption much closer. May it come soon. Amen.

Announcements
 
Dov's 12-Step Desperados - New Cycle!
 

Dov's 12-Step Desperados call is restarting a new cycle be"h on Oct 11, the Sunday after Sukkos.

Daily Dose of Dov
 
Don't Live in the Problem, Live in the Solution.
 
Part 3/3
 
By Dov

We've been bringing important ideas and posts from Dov on the REAL secret to breaking free of this addiction. It seems that the over-all goal of the 12-Steps - and what makes it so successful to millions of people, is that the steps teach us how to "focus outward" instead of living a self-centered / "ME ME" existence. Previously, we discussed various strategies and exercises that we can do to strengthen our "outward-focus" muscles. Before we continue with this idea, I just want to repeat one paragraph from the previous section because it is such a big Yesod:

As the Mesillas Yeshorim writes, there are some midos that lend themselves to knocking down a bazillion bad middos all in one fell swoop. For an addict, "outward focus" is one of the big ones that do that. Try it. Don't think about it. And don't talk about it much, c"v, either. Thinking differently - even really hard - will not generally get us to be any different on the inside. We live in "Olam Ha'asiyah - the World of Deeds". Doing changes us, and it even changes the way we think and are on the inside. That is why Hashem gave us so many mitzvos to do (as the RaMBa"M writes).

Uri Responds to Dov on the forum:

Wow, thank you so much Dov. I'm honored to have you post on my thread. The advice you give is gold. I've tried this before, "growing outward", but it proved too difficult at the time. I was feeling very depressed and had no strength for others. Now I'm gonna try to make it my top priority again iy'h. Yasher Koyach.
-uri

Dov Responds to Uri:

Dear Uri - About going outward:

We obviously can't do it alone, and we often can't do it very comfortably either. So we need extra help from Hashem with this. We also can't succeed at this if we are doing it with "an expectation" of getting something in return.

You write that you have tried it before and mentioned the challenges you had then. Thanks. Here's a big yesod (for me) in recovery that may help you with this too:

We start doing things for others simply - and mainly - because we have faith that we need to, in order to stay sober. We do it because we believe it is the only way to get us to be unselfish - and hence, "mentally OK" people. In a sort of paradoxical way, it's selfish! And that's great! Because it makes it much more palatable to us (at least subconsciously) in the beginning weeks, months or years (whatever!). It really works that way. Weird? Nu, so what's so bad about a little more weirdness? (That's also a big yesod for me, BTW...)

So "am I doing the favor for my mother in order to help her out / to be "nice" / or because it's Kibud Av vo'Eim?" Not necessarily, in the beginning. I may be doing it because it is the only way for me to recover and to stay sober. But that's Ok. I can think of no better "mitoch shelo lishma bah lishma" than this, actually.

Again though, no matter how you slice it, we always need Hashem's help to do it right.

And here's another amazing post from Dov (to someone else) on this topic:

We generally do things for our own sake. When Chazal tell us that Hashem wants us to serve Him Lishma (for His sake), it means that Hashem wants us to start getting used to moving toward doing things for the sake of others first, and then move on toward doing for Him.

He gives us parents to learn what it means to be dependent on someone else and to be responsible; he gives us friends to learn what it means to be connected and faithful; a spouse to learn what it means to be devoted and in love; children to learn what it means to give up stuff and help someone grow into life, while our own lives fade into the background. And He asks us to make for ourselves a Rav (Aseh Lecha Rav) whom we will obey without question and learn self-nullification.

Maybe then we'll be ready to finally be more dependent, responsible, connected, faithful, devoted, in love, obedient, humble and sacrificing to Him, Yisborach.

This never "occurs", it's a process called "the life of a yid". Yep, His system is genius, nothing short of it.

But how the heck is an addict, or a person who is compulsively looking at "whatever", supposed to be part of this process? Getting free from addiction is the only way for an addict to participate in this genius plan, and - miracle of miracles - it is actually simple, because the recovery itself forms and guides the whole journey!

One last post from Dov on this important idea of "focusing outward":

The way to do it is certainly: slowly and in very little steps. You will still feel selfish along the way, because we compare our behavior with our goal. Nu, that's a mistake, but we do need to keep the goal in mind all along the way somehow, so what do we expect? We are not geniuses and get confused sometimes. The main thing for progress is to hang onto faith that these little tiny (still mostly selfish) steps will, in fact, lead us straight to that goal.

As they always say in the 12-Step groups: "Easy, does it".

Love,
Dov

Try it. Don't think about it. And don't talk about it much, c"v, either. Thinking differently - even really hard - will not generally get us to be any different on the inside. We live in "Olam Ha'asiyah - the World of Deeds". Doing changes us, and it even changes the way we think and are on the inside. That is why Hashem gave us so many mitzvos to do (as the RaMBa"M writes).

After we do this for a while, our lives become wildly interesting and less predictable, too! (It is actually rather boring to think about myself all the time, you know!) We can also get sober and stay sober more easily this way.

Love! ...and that's an order.
Dov

Practical Tips
 
Clear cut plan
 
By GYE

Today is Hoshana Rabba, the last chance for Teshuvah before the final "Chasimah" of the new year. We need to have a clear cut plan if we want to succeed in doing true Teshuvah. We need to make sure that visiting forbidden sites and masturbation is simply "not an option" for us any more. Once a person succeeds in convincing his mind that it isn't an option for him, the battle is already basically won. There are two powerful - and often necessary - tools that we can use to convince our minds that these behaviors are not an option anymore:

Read more
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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