We Are Self-Supporting thru Our Own Contributions...
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1331  
In Today's Issue
Image of the Day: The Serenity Prayer
Editor’s Note: Annual Support Campaign
Announcements: Share the Zechus of Shmiras Habris of Thousands
Testimonials: The imperfect victories of a spiritual baby.
12 Step Attitude: Why Stop Lusting
Personal Stories: DOOMED
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Image of the Day
The Serenity Prayer
The Serenity Prayer
Editor’s Note
Annual Support Campaign

Dear GYE family!

Our annual fundraising campaign is in full swing. I prefer to call it "support campaign," actually, as in "we're self-suporting."

This time of year, we are not going after the big donors for donations. We are asking our members for support. When we get our struggles under control, we learn to take responsibility for our lives - and for our recovery.

Only $15,000 raised so far, out of the $200,000 goal we have for this campaign. Please Help - our members are our biggest support group!

Please see the ad below for more info and links to our capmaign flyer and the anonymous donation page.

Your support will enable us to provide services to guys like Shmarya*, who wrote to us today:

"A gut gebentsched yohr and a gmar chasima tova to every single person on Guard Your Eyes! The holy work you are engaged in is probably THE MOST IMPORTANT SPIRITUALLY, LIFE-SAVING WORK that can be done for this generation. Every moment of your work is precious. 

Hashem should grant you such hatzlocha that there should be no need for your organization!" 

See this newsletter for more testimonials of the men and women we've helped. Please don't delay your support - your dollars go to work right away for the benefit of struggling Jews world-wide. 

Share the Zechus of Shmiras Habris of Thousands

Once a year, in the time of the Yomim Noraim, we turn to our members with a special appeal to help cover the costs of our operation. Even though everything we offer is free of charge, it is YOUR SUPPORT that allows us to continue our holy work!

Please see our campaign flyer for more info.

You don't need to put into the donation page your real name, nor your real e-mail address. Also, the charge shows up just as GYE Corp. which looks pretty generic.

Contribute Today to Share the Zechus

Wishing you a G'mar Chasima Tova and a year of holiness and blessing!
The Guard Your Eyes Team

The imperfect victories of a spiritual baby.
By Anonymous

Yesterday, Hashem graced me with 1 year of sobriety, and I owe GYE a HUGE "thank you" for their part in it. When I found GYE, I had stopped my bottom line behaviors thru the help of "The Garden" series books and working on personal prayer, but I couldn't stop pornography and masturbation. After white-knuckling it for 4 months, I eventually fell and went to my first SA meeting.

Going to meetings helped me tremendously. The brutal honesty, in which people spoke about themselves, helped me realize I had not been honest with myself (or Hashem) in my prayers. It has been my experience that Hashem graces meeting halls with serenity. I find that almost without fail, whatever noise is going on in my head during the day, it shuts off whenever I come to a meeting. I can finally be present and at peace. Also, I'm a spiritual baby who struggles to see how full my cup actually is. So when I hear some of the real war stories, it always helps to shift my perspective to a healthier and happier me. I can't tell you how often the "random" reading speaks to me and my situation or, even more unnerving, when the part that I read is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. It only makes me that much more aware of Hashem's loving Hashgacha Pratis.

I owe a big "thank you" to the members of the forum who pushed me to get a sponsor. My very first sponsor gave me five tools for everyday:
1. Custody of the Eyes- Guarding them and praying for anyone I get triggered by
2. Spiritual warfare - surrendering lust and all negative emotions, attitudes, moods that I become aware of, to Hashem
3. 6 daily phone calls to others in program including check in with my sponsor
4. Daily meeting when possible (I actually only make about 3 a week)
5. 1 HOUR of personal prayer

Every program is different. For me, to find a sponsor who also pushed a full hour of personal prayer was pretty incredible hashgacha pratis, as well.

I maintain that the hour of personal prayer is most key. It is the spiritual exercising of my soul. But just like with regular exercise, I need to stretch, eat well, get sleep, etc., so too, the other 4 tools support my spiritual exercise, my hour of prayer, and help me keep it steady and consistent. The other 4 tools keep me sober, but, as the white book says, "Sober is not well." However, when I pray well and really feel connected to Hashem, then I find I'm sober AND serene.

I am only on Step 3 having had to start over after I lost my first sponsor, but the information I have learned from my new sponsor has been indispensable. He advised me to get the "Joe and Charlie Big Book Study" app on my phone, and it has helped me so much with my understanding of the program. Best $3 I ever spent!

Again, a big thank you to GYE. I look forward to reading the daily chizuk emails. The inspiring message pics, Rabbi Twerski's input, and, of course, Dov's delightfullly dedicated diatribes have always been a huge help.

Thank you, Hashem, for leading me to GYE and to SA and for freedom from the stupidity. I say stupidity because my experience was not that my addiction was cunning, baffling, and powerful. It was that it made me into a moron when it came to dealing with it. My best thinking got me nowhere. I am still a work in progress. I still struggle with looking at women. I still struggle with connecting with others. I'm still painfully aware of the multitude of my character defects. But I see progress! And it's "Progress, not perfection."

May Hashem bless everyone involved in any way with this website with all the things I want for myself: complete emunah with emotional conviction, the success of their hands, shalom bayis, righteous and outstanding children, aliyah at the best time according to His will, increased daily personal prayer, and may we all know and love Him in return.

12 Step Attitude
Why Stop Lusting
Part 1/3
By SA.org

Below are excerpts from the SA pamphlet called "Why Stop Lusting" from www.sa.org. Rabbi Avraham J. Twerski believes that joining a 12-Step SA group is the most powerful and sure way to break free of this addiction. However, even Rabbi Twerski agrees that it is not for everyone. It is for people who have decided that they can no longer live this way. They have come to the conclusion that even death itself would be better than continuing to be a slave to these destructive behaviors. For such people, the SA groups and 12-Steps are the most sure way to success.

However, regardless of whether the groups are for you or not, much of what is written below can be helpful for anyone trying to understand the nature of the addiction and how to break free. We have pasted the pamphlet below.

Why Stop Lusting?

Many of us came to Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) driven to total despair by our destructive sexual thoughts and behaviors. Within the meeting rooms of SA we discovered, to our surprise, that lust was the driving force behind our acting out. Sexual lust is an inordinate thought or feeling that drives us to use ourselves, others, or things for self-centered destructive purposes. The spiritual sickness of lust wants sexual stimulation at that moment instead of what a Higher Power or God is offering us. Later we come to see that lust wants anything other than what is offered us each moment. At first it was hard to believe. As we began to accept this fact, we wondered how we could live without lust. It became clear that we had to give it up, yet we doubted that life without lust was possible. In this fellowship of SA, we met people who had found a way to stop their destructive sexual behaviors. That too was unbelievable. Yet, by their honesty and shining faces, we knew it was true. They had the answer we desperately wanted.

Why Can't I Lust, Just A Little?

From the earliest days of our disease, we thought lust was our friend. We used it for many reasons: entertainment, as a refuge from pain, or to escape dealing with problems. Somewhere along the way we realized that lust had become a bigger problem than the problems we were trying to avoid. The medicine became our poison. Our "solution" became the problem. We were out of control. Lusting, for us, is like riding a roller coaster. Once started, it is nearly impossible to stop. Therefore, lust must be stopped where it begins, with the first drink. Getting out from under the influence of lust, therefore, would require us to avoid getting on board in the first place. That meant forsaking the thrill and the risk-taking. But how could we turn our backs on something that we had allowed to dominate our lives for so many years? How could we succeed now where we had failed a thousand times before? Our addiction to lust is like the alcoholic's problem with alcohol. Just as the alcoholic cannot tolerate one drink of alcohol, we sexaholics cannot tolerate even the smallest drink of lust. Lust always leads to more lust, eventually making us drunk with it. Once drunk, the urge to act out sexually is impossible to resist. Even worse, lust keeps taking us deeper and deeper into behaviors we promised ourselves we would never do. The shame that these behaviors caused us required more and more lust to mask it. Just a little lusting simply doesn't work for sexaholics like us.

To be continued...
Personal Stories

Just change the words "Gambling" and "GA" in this article to "Lust" and "SA".

Sometimes Hitting Bottom is Not Enough
By Salomon, Rabbi Yaakov
Read more
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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