Help Inside!
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1305  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day: Take Our Hand!
Chizuk: Status of Avodah Zorah
Testimonials: Never Felt Such a Connection
12 Step Attitude: Free Choice
Daily Dose of Dov: Seeing the addiction through Dov's crystal clear glasses
 
 
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Image of the Day
 

One of the hardest things is to ask for help. Second hardest - to accept help when it is being offered.

Take Our Hand!
 
Take Our Hand!
Chizuk
 
Status of Avodah Zorah
 
By Arutz 7

All Jews are mandated to fight the particular Avodah Zorah manifested in each particular era. Perhaps if this particular "sexual" addiction is reduced to the generic "status" of Avodah Zorah it will be easier to face and dismiss. The objective of "the other side" is to tempt, demoralize and depress us after having robbed us of self-respect, and thereby separate us from Torah and Hashem. This is true of all types of addiction to activities prohibited by the Torah. Just as we marvel today at generations past having been tempted by Avodah Zorahs for which we presently have no affinity, so can we tackle the present day Avodah Zorahs that afflict us, with the confidence that we too will look back in relief, having overcome them and having no remaining reside of affinity for them. Wishing everyone an easy fast and great success in the New Year in all matters of gashmiut and ruchniut!


 

Testimonials
 
Never Felt Such a Connection
 
By Rising Up

I feel that the effort that I put into posting my comments and thoughts on the forum are vital to my recovery. Although I had a very difficult time over the past 5 or so years, I never felt a type of connection to anything in the way that I do to GYE. It is something for me to look forward to, a place that I can joke around, where previous conceptions and acute assumptions of personalities do not apply. It is important to me that this remains a part of the recovery process. So much so, that I have factored in the time that I spend reading the posts into my daily schedule. Thanks to all those on this website I am able to share my thoughts without the fear of being ridiculed or shunned. The mind of an addict is filled with many different misconceptions, greatest perhaps of all is the perceived notion that one is unable to create a true bond with a reciprocal being. Seeing the way that each one of us contributes to the well being of each other is truly an asset to the recovering addict.

For this I am truly thankful.

12 Step Attitude
 
Free Choice
 
By GYE

Quote from SA, White Book, page 26

Read more
Daily Dose of Dov
 
Seeing the addiction through Dov's crystal clear glasses
 
By Dov

I am not an expert on anything, and certainly not on addiction or recovery. (I'm pretty good with wild mushrooms, though!). I am, however, able to share my experience, and I am gifted with the faith that I need to share it in order to remain sober.

I became an addict because my inner life was too painful, and did not work for me. My drug of choice was just the one that fit the bill the best and most conveniently for me, that's all. To recover, I need action, not cheshboinos. Cheshboinos and meforshim never got me sober, just Honesty, Openness, and Acceptance.

I am not teaching Torah here, just sharing my self as honestly as I can. So, I am not focusing on right or wrong, good or bad. That is why I don't say moral stuff, nor tell people what they should be doing. This is also why I never participate in telling (or begging) a member not to act out. Let the Rabbis do that. Addicts like me (and the ones I know), really believe people will do what they feel they need to do, and will come around and "hear" when they feel they need to. All we do is share, daven, and maybe - cry.

I hope this is not a cop-out, but I am convinced that anything else will twist my brain up, grow my pride, and make me useless. And I will soon act out too. And I am not going to act out to save you or anybody (chayecha kodmin, right?). This is far different from kiruv, soul-saving or chizzuk, per se, which are all certainly very worthy endeavors, none of which I am qualified to do. When talking with sexaholics, I am mainly concerned with sanity. My sanity and their sanity. Sanity, so we can each get to (or maintain) a life that we believe is right.

For me, living together with my Creator is the only thing there really is, though I relatively rarely actually live that way... (nu, He's not done with me yet!)

As far as recovery itself is concerned, it has nothing to do with being an eved Hashem. In that respect, it's just like any other terminal, progressive illness. Bladder cancer l"a, is not a Jewish problem. In fact, I feel very sorry for addicted yidden who feel they can only have Jewish or frum recovery mentors, only because I have seen that they often do not get long term sobriety. If it were still about Torah to me, I believe it is doubtful I ever would have grasped the depth of what was going on here. I was/am broken in the very foundations of sanity, not in my yir'as Shomayim, at all.

99% of the successful people I have met in this arena have told the same story that the successful Alcoholics tell: "When I finally accepted the fact that I didn't have what it takes and probably never would; that I was hopelessly powerless to win this fight, I started getting better because I really reached out for my G-d and kept using His help from that point forward."

As your sanity grows, your latent yir'as Shomayim and ahavas Hashem will start to show itself more than you ever dreamed possible. The mussar and Torah that you learned - and which was sterile in the past - will start to bear fruit! It may take some time in sobriety for that to happen, but it is worth the wait.

For me, the only other choice was ultimately a pathetic death. Not a bad deal, huh?

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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