Do this exercise
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1302  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day
Chizuk: If you give me to look at a woman...
Links: The opposite of addiction - cont'd
Torah: Some Quotable-Quotes from "Bardichev"
12 Step Attitude: The sight of your eyes
 
 
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Image of the Day
 
Chizuk
 

We would like to congratulate Obormottel on 4 years sober in Sexaholics Anonymous. Mottel came to GYE on Aug. 3, 2011, and have stayed sober ever since. Even though he eventually joined SA, he credits GYE with his initial success and is gratefull for all the help and support he recieved here. You can read some of his story on the forum.

Mottel currently helps GYE as one of the admins. You can reach him by email.

Below is a little poetic piece he wrote after being a bit under one year sober.

 
If you give me to look at a woman...
 
By Obormottel

WARNING: The following story is NOT part of children book series "If you give (a mouse a cookie etc)...", although it is loosely based on it, and it is therefore NOT suitable for children.
Reader discretion advised.

If you give me to look at a woman,
I may not see everything I want to see at first glance.
So I may ask to look again.

When I look again, I may think she is attractive, and if I find her attractive, I'll want to sexualize her.

Once I've sexualized her, I'll want a fantasy to go with it.
And after fantasizing for a while, I will have a build-up of sexual tension,
which I will want to relieve.
So I will want to mastrubate.

Once I decide to mastrubate,
I will look for some porn to go with it.
So I will look for a computer with a fast internet connection.

When I start looking at porn, I may masturbate again and again, and keep looking at porn for hours.

After mastrubating many times, and watching porn for hours on end,
I will become tired and depressed,
and I will want someone to comfort me.

When I want someone to comfort me it better be a woman, but it cannot be my wife, 'cause she's real and she knows the real me.

So I'll look for a woman who may be holding the key to my salvation, and when I find her, chances are I may wanna look at her.

But if you give me to look at a woman...

Links
 

Recently, we had brought you a TED talk titled "The Opposite of Addiction is Connection."

Below is a short conversation following up the video.

The opposite of addiction - cont'd

This link will take you to a site outside of GYE network. Although we had vetted this site and found it to contain no objectionable imagery, view discretion is advised.

Torah
 
Some Quotable-Quotes from "Bardichev"
 
By Bardichev

IN THIS WEEKS PARSHA WE FIND THE MOST MOST MOST (THAT'S A LOT OF MOST) FUNDAMENTAL QUESTION IN THE TORAH:"WHAT DOES G-D WANT FROM ME???"V'ATAH YISROEL MAH HASHEM ELOKECHA SH-EL MEI-IMCHA??I WILL STOP AT THE FIRST WORD: "VE'ATA""VE'ATA" IS LASHON OF TESHUVAH "VE'ATA" MEANS "FROM NOW ON" THE PAST IS GONE!!!FROM NOW ON!!!!ALL HASHEM WANTS IS: FROM NOW ON!!!

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12 Step Attitude
 
The sight of your eyes
 
By Elya

Elya K, moderator of the 12-Step Phone groups and Hot-Line, posted on the forum a few weeks ago:

In Koheles, Chapter 11:9 it says: "Rejoice, Young man in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth, and walk in the ways of your heart, and in THE SIGHT OF YOUR EYES, but know that for all these things Hashem will bring you to judgment".

Part of me says "I can't stand it anymore, I have to act out" or "If I only can do it one more time, that will save me". "Look one more time". "Go to that place one more time". That is my addiction talking. How do I overcome this? I ask myself, "Do I really want to go back to secretly sneaking around, lying to my family, covering myself up so no one will see me? Do I really want to go through this pain of withdrawal all over again." NOOOOOO!!!!!!

But once a person lets their guard down, stops talking to friends, stops going to meetings, stops reading, it's easy to rationalize and say, "I can do this on my own". And then we fall.

What's the answer? Koheles gives it to us in THE VERY NEXT POSUK. Listen carefully.

Chapter 11:10: "Therefore, remove anger (resentment, fear) from your heart, and put away evil from your flesh, for childhood and youth are vanity". HEVEL!

This is the answer guys. "Remove resentment, fear and anger from your heart". For many people, resentment is the #1 cause of falling. Think about it. Do you ever act out when you felt on top of the world, that the world was yours and everything was going great. You had no worries? I doubt it. If you have, I'd like to hear your story.

We're not talking about emotional, physical, or sexual abuse here. Such people need PROFESSIONAL HELP. We're talking about everyday annoyances that we blow up way out of proportion and they affect us.

See this 4 Step Exercise from Elya, to help you remove anger and resentment from your heart.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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